It’s a new year and I’m sure a bunch of you are either frantically scribbling down new year’s resolutions or struggling to work the ones you’ve already determined. Personally, I’ve never been much for making resolutions, only because I know I will never keep them and that just makes me feel dry. This year though [...]
It’s a new year and I’m sure a bunch of you are either frantically scribbling down new year’s resolutions or struggling to work the ones you’ve already determined. Personally, I’ve never been much for making resolutions, only because I know I will never keep them and that just makes me feel dry. This year though I’m somewhere between feeling focused enough to try to stick to my resolutions but wutless enough to know it’s a struggle. So instead I’ve decided that, rather than resolving to start or maintain certain behaviours, I’m going to attempt to overcome my fatal flaws. Which is pretty much the same thing but sounds easier.
Since I can only accomplish anything in life if I am accountable to someone other than myself, I’m putting these flaws out here so that you guys can call me on my shit if I slip. Which I will.
1. Lack of Discipline
I am, without a doubt, the most undisciplined person I know. It’s really terrible. My lack of discipline means I’m constantly frantically typing posts on my phone at 11:55pm, skipping workouts, missing church, and basically doing a shitty job of things that I would be good at if only I allowed myself the proper amount of time to do them. It’s really tiresome. Especially because 9 times out of 10, what I’m doing instead of handling my business is some dumb shit like playing Angry Birds.
I’m pretty sure reactiveness is not a word, but that matters not one whit so let’s go with it. Let me tell you a story. A few years ago I had a car. Not a fancy car or anything, but a good solid car. I had it for a few years and then we (this was when I was temporarily insane and cohabiting with a man) started to notice that the car’s tires were getting bald. We did some price-checking and figured it would be about $80 per tire to replace them. But we had a lot more interesting things to spend whatever $80 times 4 is on tires so we kept putting it off and putting it off. Until one day when the boy was driving the car in the rain and it started hydroplaning and he crashed. Bye bye car. A few weeks go by and I buy another car. This one is a nice, somewhat fancy car that had every bell and whistle I could have hoped for. Plus it had reclining back seats, which made for some pretty interesting car sex. I picked her up at the end of November, christened her Lucille after the Anthony Hamilton song, and got ready for life in the fast lane. Two days later there is a massive snow storm and I cannot get my fancy rear-wheel drive car out of the effing driveway. Why is that you ask? Because the fucking thing had “performance” tires on it, which look really nice but won’t do shit for you in the snow. So I take about three hours to drive/push Lucille to the tire place to get snow tires. Of course, being that Lucille is a fancy car, the snow tires are $250 a pop. So I have to drop $1,000 on a car I just bought two days ago which I wouldn’t even have had to buy in the first place if I had just been proactive and paid the $240 for new tires on the perfectly-good car I already had.
I have a million stories like this. So it is time I started proactively doing things like I claim to do on my resume instead of waiting for the shit to hit the fan.
2. Magical Thinking
More than anything else on this list, this is truly my fatal flaw because it feeds all the other flaws. Believing that things will happen and issues will be resolved through no effort on my part is probably a big part of why I’m not disciplined or proactive. If I could lose my laissez-faire, the universe will deliver a solution, all’s well that ends well way of thinking I could accomplish so much more in life.
4. Raging Against the Dying Of The Night
Recently one of my favourite people said to me “You don’t determine shit, the world does”. And even though I know this and have always known this, I have a tendency to go rogue and try to live by my own bizarre rules. Which sounds like a good idea, but really is just another way of making my life unnecessarily difficult. If everyone around me is abiding by societal norms that I choose to ignore because they don’t make sense to me, I’m the one who pays the price for it at the end of the day. I know this, but still I’m constantly trying to stage a one-woman revolution by refusing to go with the flow of polite society. Instead I want to swim against the tide and then wonder why everyone else is moving so much faster than I. I’m not the hugest Oprah fan, but this year I’m gonna take a page out of her book and “find the flow and follow it”.
4. Excessive Honesty
You guys are well aware that I don’t believe in secrets and I love oversharing, but like I said above, if I’m
the only one doing it it’s gonna get me on trouble. In the past my only reasons to keep something a secret were if I felt some kind of way about it or to respect someone’s privacy. But you know what? Although I think being completely transparent and straightforward all the time is a good thing, it’s damaging. It changes the way people look at you. It makes people wary of you because they feel like they can’t trust you. And it makes people think they know more about you than they actually do. None of which are good things. This year I’m going in the opposite direction and keeping
almost everything a secret from almost everybody.
So that’s my list. I think it’s enough to keep me busy this year, but what do you guys think? Any flaws I should consider holding on to? What are your fatal flaws?