It’s a new year and I’m sure a bunch of you are either frantically scribbling down new year’s resolutions or struggling to work the ones you’ve already determined. Personally, I’ve never been much for making resolutions, only because I know I will never keep them and that just makes me feel dry. This year though [...]
It’s a new year and I’m sure a bunch of you are either frantically scribbling down new year’s resolutions or struggling to work the ones you’ve already determined. Personally, I’ve never been much for making resolutions, only because I know I will never keep them and that just makes me feel dry. This year though I’m somewhere between feeling focused enough to try to stick to my resolutions but wutless enough to know it’s a struggle. So instead I’ve decided that, rather than resolving to start or maintain certain behaviours, I’m going to attempt to overcome my fatal flaws. Which is pretty much the same thing but sounds easier.
Since I can only accomplish anything in life if I am accountable to someone other than myself, I’m putting these flaws out here so that you guys can call me on my shit if I slip. Which I will.
1. Lack of Discipline
I am, without a doubt, the most undisciplined person I know. It’s really terrible. My lack of discipline means I’m constantly frantically typing posts on my phone at 11:55pm, skipping workouts, missing church, and basically doing a shitty job of things that I would be good at if only I allowed myself the proper amount of time to do them. It’s really tiresome. Especially because 9 times out of 10, what I’m doing instead of handling my business is some dumb shit like playing Angry Birds.
3. Reactiveness
I’m pretty sure reactiveness is not a word, but that matters not one whit so let’s go with it. Let me tell you a story. A few years ago I had a car. Not a fancy car or anything, but a good solid car. I had it for a few years and then we (this was when I was temporarily insane and cohabiting with a man) started to notice that the car’s tires were getting bald. We did some price-checking and figured it would be about $80 per tire to replace them. But we had a lot more interesting things to spend whatever $80 times 4 is on tires so we kept putting it off and putting it off. Until one day when the boy was driving the car in the rain and it started hydroplaning and he crashed. Bye bye car. A few weeks go by and I buy another car. This one is a nice, somewhat fancy car that had every bell and whistle I could have hoped for. Plus it had reclining back seats, which made for some pretty interesting car sex. I picked her up at the end of November, christened her Lucille after the Anthony Hamilton song, and got ready for life in the fast lane. Two days later there is a massive snow storm and I cannot get my fancy rear-wheel drive car out of the effing driveway. Why is that you ask? Because the fucking thing had “performance” tires on it, which look really nice but won’t do shit for you in the snow. So I take about three hours to drive/push Lucille to the tire place to get snow tires. Of course, being that Lucille is a fancy car, the snow tires are $250 a pop. So I have to drop $1,000 on a car I just bought two days ago which I wouldn’t even have had to buy in the first place if I had just been proactive and paid the $240 for new tires on the perfectly-good car I already had.
I have a million stories like this. So it is time I started proactively doing things like I claim to do on my resume instead of waiting for the shit to hit the fan.
2. Magical Thinking
More than anything else on this list, this is truly my fatal flaw because it feeds all the other flaws. Believing that things will happen and issues will be resolved through no effort on my part is probably a big part of why I’m not disciplined or proactive. If I could lose my laissez-faire, the universe will deliver a solution, all’s well that ends well way of thinking I could accomplish so much more in life.
4. Raging Against the Dying Of The Night
Recently one of my favourite people said to me “You don’t determine shit, the world does”. And even though I know this and have always known this, I have a tendency to go rogue and try to live by my own bizarre rules. Which sounds like a good idea, but really is just another way of making my life unnecessarily difficult. If everyone around me is abiding by societal norms that I choose to ignore because they don’t make sense to me, I’m the one who pays the price for it at the end of the day. I know this, but still I’m constantly trying to stage a one-woman revolution by refusing to go with the flow of polite society. Instead I want to swim against the tide and then wonder why everyone else is moving so much faster than I. I’m not the hugest Oprah fan, but this year I’m gonna take a page out of her book and “find the flow and follow it”.
4. Excessive Honesty
You guys are well aware that I don’t believe in secrets and I love oversharing, but like I said above, if I’m
the only one doing it it’s gonna get me on trouble. In the past my only reasons to keep something a secret were if I felt some kind of way about it or to respect someone’s privacy. But you know what? Although I think being completely transparent and straightforward all the time is a good thing, it’s damaging. It changes the way people look at you. It makes people wary of you because they feel like they can’t trust you. And it makes people think they know more about you than they actually do. None of which are good things. This year I’m going in the opposite direction and keeping almost everything a secret from almost everybody.
So that’s my list. I think it’s enough to keep me busy this year, but what do you guys think? Any flaws I should consider holding on to? What are your fatal flaws?
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It’s great to have goals, Maxamilli; good for you.
I can’t say I’m terribly amped about #4 in practice. I like the idea of reducing “excessive honesty” because it can get you in trouble. Believe it or not people are so used to dealing with liars, when you tell the truth they don’t trust you. WTH, right? But it’s true! And you are SOOOO right about people thinking that they know you. Anyway…the difference in “excessive honesty” and “This year I’m going in the opposite direction and keeping (almost) everything a secret from (almost) everybody” is the difference between Classy and Kat Stacks, nowhere remotely close. I have no doubt you’ve thought out your goals and if they’re good for you then great. But improve on Max, don’t completely change her…fighting against who you are is not only futile, but a lot of us LOVE the Maxie we already know. My two cents.
I’m getting back on my healthy diet and exercising tip in 2011 and being more proactive about my life.
Vaca ends tomorrow
See ya’ll round the eHood.
my fatal flaws:
i’m a major procrastinator. i’d rather just watch tv, surf the net or go the gym than to say write my dissertation. i’m the worst. this week i’m starting dissertation boot camp.
i suck at budgeting after i pay my bills i really suck at saving. i usually spend my money on things that i don’t need to. i.e.- alcohol.
expressing myself usually when i’m slighted or someone hurts my feelings i don’t speak up. when i’m angry i sometimes say hurtful things so even though i’m hurt i consider other’s feelings. i need to find better ways of expressing myself without coming across ass an asshole.
“What are your fatal flaws?”
To answer your question Max, basically all of what Mad said.
In addition, I suck at asking for help, especially when it concerns school. I put myself in impossible situations because I don’t swallow my pride and ask for help when I should.
as far as school is concerned if i didn’t have a great mentor i would have the exact problem.
I will just do a cut and paste. Thank you for doing the brain-work for me.. lol. While I love “And it makes people think they know more about you than they actually do.” which simply makes me laugh. I might need to tweak it a bit… it seems to keep the low self-esteem having complainers to a minimum. I’ll have to find a balance somehow.
You know I believe in secrets Max… so I support your secretive endeavors.
“Magical thinking”….I’m so guilty of this! Great post Max!
Good post, Max. Making a change in your life isn’t just about starting certain behaviors (addition) but also about stopping certain behaviors (subtraction).
Lack of disciple and “reactiveness” (aka procrastination) are problems that I face a lot too. It’s crazy to think about how much I could get done if I’d just stop checking ESPN and Twitter every 5 minutes smh.
*sigh* My head is crowded from all the space you take up, Max. Are you living my parallel life? This is my REAL NYR list. Ditto to the budgeting and financial planning.
Add to my list:
get organized at work (I keep everything b/c I dont trust my supervisor)
keep my car cleaned
keep up my appearance
GET BACK INTO SCHOOL
go out more, just for fun (which may counteract with the budget and finances)
Maxie,
Add numbering to that list
I would say procrastination, impatience, and overthinking are my fatal flaws. Its a process
And I thought it was some Max-logic numbering technique that I missed out on so I didn’t ask… lol
My Fatal Flaws:
My Imagination: It truly is a gift and a curse. It can produce wonderful things, but it is also the catalyst behind my overthinking. Which leads to stress and worry. I’m working double time to curb overthinking and negative thoughts. I have to find a balance. In my overthinking, most times I’m just trying to be prepared…but somehow, scenarios always end up going left in my head.
Not Being a Morning Person: I’m a morning person when I can get up…when I want. But to wake up to an alarm, I hate it. And I sleep until the last minute possible, leaving no room for anything to go wrong. It’s really not a good thing. And I’m sure I could get so much more done in the AM.
My Temper: I just don’t go cursing people out or anything. I actually like to avoid confrontation. But that’s part of the problem. Sometimes I keep giving chances, letting ish build up and then go off. And while driving I let these stupid drivers tick me off. I could just finish praying and someone while do something dumb and I’m like “You fcking idiot!!”. I gotta cut it out.
as far as being a morning person all you have to do is make it out the bed (or go to bed earlier). when i know i have to be at the gym in the morning (5:15am) i try go to bed by 12. if i’m feeling really tired i just get up and splash some cold water on my face.
uh…yeah…I’m always in bed by before 12 and I still want to sleep another 30-45 minutes
@lala…the overthinking….omg…i. just.cant.
*runs away…
I had an entire (rather comical) response written out that just vanished! WTH?!
I am back to re-write my list of fatal flaws..
1. Procrastination. I wait to the last minute to do everything. I should be working on my presentation right now but I am writing this.
2. Stopping dealing with the rachetness. I am NOT going to deal with a couple of individuals this year. I now have them listed in my caller ID as: Don’t and He ain’t worth it. I fell prey to some things last year that I will not deal with this year.
3. Cheating. Don’t judge me, yes I am in therapy. I have had a problem with monogamy for years. I decided in 2011 either I will be alone or I won’t cheat.
Hopefully the latter wins.Oh and angry birds is my GAME!
MAX!
#1 is me all the way. I’m so damn lazy, which causes discipline deficiency. LOL
I’m thisclose to talking to my therapist about my possibly having A.D.D. I love to wait until the last minute to do everything and when I do make an attempt at doing things within a reasonable amount of time, I stop to check email, text, watch TV, tweet, Facebook, watch porn, gaze at my to do list and imagine how good I’d feel with everything checked off, etc. *sigh*
Keep me posted on how you make out with this. I’m struggling already!