It’s almost the end of the year and that means it’s time to look back and examine things. What we’ve done right in the past year, where we’ve gone horribly wrong, and what we want to see happen in the new year.
Of course for a nasty girl such as myself, a lot of the things I’m re-evaluating are of the carnal nature. And what I’ve realized is that I – with the help of you, my dear readers – have changed my mind about some things. And because I can always admit when I’m wrong, I’m going to share with you some of the words I put out into the universe this year that I will be eating next year.
1. Sexy underwear
Back when I was researching Getting in F*cking Shape I did a few polls asking women what they did to prepare themselves for the first time they had chex with a new dude. A whole lot of ladies said that they bought new underwear, which at the time I thought was about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Why the fuck would anyone care what their underwear looked like when they should be worrying about how quickly they can take it off? Didn’t compute in my mind at all. Of course my mum has always purchased my bras and panties which means that a)they are ugly and b)they don’t fit .
But this past weekend, armed with a fat gift card from my employer, I hit the mall and decided to blow it all on sexy skivvies. And okay, I see it now. When you wear a matching bra and panties you look a million times better than when you just grab the first thing your hand touches in the morning. And something happens when I’ve got sexy undies on…I feel
extremely horny sexier, there’s an extra sway in my walk, even if I look a little rough on the outside. So I vow that I will never wear raggedy underwear again! But I will continue to wear mis-matched socks. I’m not giving that up.
2. The p*ssy shot
Back in my diatribe about Sending Your Coochie Through the Mail,I strenuously urged you ladies not to do this. But you know what? I take it back. I mean, my rules still apply, but I withdraw any reference I ever made about this being a bad idea. It’s a great idea. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
3. Bald really is better
This one is the most shocking transformation and the most painful to admit. Back when I wroteLeave My Bush Alone I gave you a list of reasons why I would not be balding off my pussy any time soon, no matter what anyone said. Well you know what? I tried it (Thank you @ritual2 for hooking me up with a free Brazilian) and I am a believer. I mean I still maintain that until a man lets someone smear boiling hot wax on his joint and rip off the hairs he shouldn’t be telling any woman to do with her ladyparts, but since I’m not a woman I can tell you: it’s better in Brazil. It really, really is.
So that’s my list of things I’ve learned and changed this year thanks you. But what about you guys? Have I changed your mind about anything? Are you with me on my new discoveries? Speak on it in the comments.
My word it's been a long time, hasn't it? Too long! I originally ...
Confession: before I got pregnant I was fascinated by pregnant ...
Sakes alive I suck at keeping up with my blog. I'm sorry kids. I ...
Confession: I am dumb jealous of everyone who is doing the ...