Re-examining Some Things


[dropcap]I[/dropcap]t’s almost the end of the year and that means it’s time to look back and examine things. What we’ve done right in the past year, where we’ve gone horribly wrong, and what we want to see happen in the new year.

Of course for a nasty girl such as myself, a lot of the things I’m re-evaluating are of the carnal nature. And what I’ve realized is that I – with the help of you, my dear readers – have changed my mind about some things. And because I can always admit when I’m wrong, I’m going to share with you some of the words I put out into the universe this year that I will be eating next year.

1. Sexy underwear

Back when I was researching Getting in F*cking Shape I did a few polls asking women what they did to prepare themselves for the first time they had chex with a new dude. A whole lot of ladies said that they bought new underwear, which at the time I thought was about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Why the fuck would anyone care what their underwear looked like when they should be worrying about how quickly they can take it off? Didn’t compute in my mind at all. Of course my mum has always purchased my bras and panties which means that a)they are ugly and b)they don’t fit .

But this past weekend, armed with a fat gift card from my employer, I hit the mall and decided to blow it all on sexy skivvies. And okay, I see it now. When you wear a matching bra and panties you look a million times better than when you just grab the first thing your hand touches in the morning. And something happens when I’ve got sexy undies on…I feel extremely horny sexier, there’s an extra sway in my walk, even if I look a little rough on the outside. So I vow that I will never wear raggedy underwear again! But I will continue to wear mis-matched socks. I’m not giving that up.

2. The p*ssy shot

Back in my diatribe about Sending Your Coochie Through the Mail,I strenuously urged you ladies not to do this. But you know what? I take it back. I mean, my rules still apply, but I withdraw any reference I ever made about this being a bad idea. It’s a great idea. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

3. Bald really is better

This one is the most shocking transformation and the most painful to admit. Back when I wroteLeave My Bush Alone I gave you a list of reasons why I would not be balding off my pussy any time soon, no matter what anyone said. Well you know what? I tried it (Thank you @ritual2 for hooking me up with a free Brazilian) and I am a believer. I mean I still maintain that until a man lets someone smear boiling hot wax on his joint and rip off the hairs he shouldn’t be telling any woman to do with her ladyparts, but since I’m not a woman I can tell you: it’s better in Brazil. It really, really is.

So that’s my list of things I’ve learned and changed this year thanks you. But what about you guys? Have I changed your mind about anything? Are you with me on my new discoveries? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 19

  1. Suki says:

    Wow at all three. Welcome to the dark side. Buying new underwear is a monthly event. The first, middle and/or last of each month, I visit VS to fall victim of their 5FOR25 “deal” or I’ll search for an online coupon code. Matching underwear has been something I’ve rooted for. And I always will. No comment on the puss shot and bald puss.

    1. Communication. I gave up on hitting people up a while ago. It’s still something I’m “learning” because I’ll surprise some people with a response or with a courtesy text/phone call and it makes me happy to see that they value it as much as it took me strength to type it.

    2. Relationship with my mom. Been ignoring her for most of the year b/c with her, it’s always something new. Some kind of hassle. But lately, I’ve been learning how to talk to her and drag out a conversation that won’t bring about any old shit that I’ve done that got me in trouble in the past. Cuz we all know how women are with bringing up old shit.

    I’m sure there are a plethora couple of things I’m missing. But I thought of these two first.
    Good job Max

  2. Melissa says:

    Even tho I hate this word, I cosign all three and been cosigning all three from the beginning. Matching underwear is such a must for a grown woman….not only for whoever may see it, but just for you to feel put together. And I’ve said this about 3341662727228 times on this blog alone…getting my ladyparts lasered was the absolute best decision I’ve ever ever made. I recommend it to everyone.

    Now you gotta step it up for next year max. The socks at least! I mean, honestly!

    1. Reecie says:

      the thought of waxing terrifies me (not really but I’m not for intentional pain) but I’d do lasering since after the treatments its permanent. I need to do some research.

      I live for pretty bra and panty sets. even if they don’t match in a set, I always wear coordinating colors. and I coordinate to my clothing and socks too–doing too much? perhaps but I like it. if it can’t be done, all black works. lol In my grown woman development I’m moving away from the bright cottons and trying out more deeper colors and silky materials…yass lingerie is my friend.

  3. Capricorn says:

    1. Communication. Working on this with the fiance, with management at work, with friends, with myself.

    2. Learning that not everything that feels good is good for you.

    3. Making sure to pamper myself more in 2011.

    4. Managing my money better.

  4. Paddez says:

    Welcome aboard Max! I’m a fan of all three. They all go together so nicely too. You’re all bare and sexy down there, you dress it up all hot & naughty-like and now you’re feeling like getting into some trouble. Enter the coochie photo shoot and one lucky recipient!

  5. Tisha says:

    Morning all…
    Managing my money better is for sure number one
    Heeding the warning flags
    Working on my patience is a constant

  6. Kema says:

    Hmmm… Maybe this year I will get matching socks. lol!

    Hey its not that hard to get a man to lose a little hair down there… Especially when you tell him your plans. lol! I’m not doing the waxing thing though. Nair over here!

    1. My sister had a bad Nair experience. I will NEVER Nair down there…

      1. Kema says:

        Hah! I do it all the time… and thats after a bad experience on my wedding day. lol!

        For me the key is to cover sensitive parts with tissue so nair never touches. Its so fast and painless this way.

        1. OK, I see… Nope, can’t do it… don’t trust myself.. lol

  7. Great accomplishments.

    I don’t necessarily do matching undies EVERYday, not to just go to work and come home. I don’t have time to search through the two full draws dedicated to(seperated) panties and bras . And not all matching sets fit comfortably, they’re just meant to be cute.. and off in 60 secs or less. If it happens it happens. But if I’m going out socially, then I make sure they are matching, just makes you feel a lot better to have the whole attire together.

    TWO Major changes:
    1. I stirred up the courage to read my poetry, during a spoken word event at a local spot here. It was the most nauseating experience of my life. But It didn’t stop me, nor did the nausea. I’m glad I did it.

    2. And last but not least…. recently decided to try to conquer Celibacy.. Maybe conquer is not the right word, conquer would mean to beat Celibacy; to beat Celibacy would mean I’m fighting it with intent to win, which would be the opposite of what I’m actually trying to accomplish. So maybe a better word would be to accomplish … sorry for babbling, incoherently lack of chex or testosterone in you will do that to you ….Major life altering experience. Still new to me, but not an easy task.

  8. Jsmooth says:

    Long time reader, first time writer – the male perspective

    1. Sexy underwear
    – This is a MUST. I can’t count how many times I got even more turned when my female friend was wearing a sexy matching set. As a bonus, try matching the set with the colours of your outfit. Last resort, if you can’t be matching, at least make sure it’s a sexy bra and thong combo. Don’t want to feel as if I’m in a Gr.6 female gym class.

    2. The p*ssy shot
    All women should be down for this. However, use your discretion on the type of guy receiving it. I’m guilty of sharing/trading photos with other guy friends.

    Nonetheless, it’s a great way to get things going in the early stages of meeting each other.

    3. Bald really is better

    As the title suggests. If there is one piece of hair, my pants go back on and I’d ask her to leave. Especially if you want your guy to go down, having it bald with definitely increase your chances. No one wants hair in their mouth.

    1. max says:

      You don’t seriously put your pants on and go if you see a hair, do you? Because – while I admire your dedication to the cause – that is extreme.
      And I’m going to assume that since you are so strident and you recognize that no one wants hair in their mouth that your stuff is hairless as well right??
      Oh and welcome and ish. Thanks for commenting!

      1. Jsmooth says:

        I’m a true believer that a female should always be prepared for anything. If she is clean/shaved/waxed for our date, then I have a good idea what she had in mind.
        Secondly, although I consider myself the typical alpha male, I’m very very well groomed. That being said, if my female friend has more hair than I do – it’s definitely not going down. In regards to your second question, you can draw your own conclusions from my last statement. Great blog btw

    2. Kema says:

      Guys should be careful too! (although you probably dont care as much) Women share pics too!

  9. i’m with all of your changes especially the matching bra and panty sets. i’m not going to change anything per se but just expand on things that i do now.

  10. Tiny says:

    I don’t agree with the pussy shot.

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