And we’re back with another edition of I Wish Someone Would. This is a good one. Ready? Let’s begin.
Okay so Man and Woman meet. They talk on the phone, they get together a few times. All signs indicate the chex is imminent. Woman undertakes all the typical pre-sex grooming rituals. Man does whatever it is men do when they know they’re about to bone a chick for the first time.
The big day arrives. Man and Woman get together, they hang out. They indulge in a few cocktails during their pre-sex conversation and then retire to the bedroom. Foreplay ensues. Woman
breaking my #1 rule of no first-time mic checks descends to her knees and begins to suck Man’s brains out through his penis. She looks up at his face; expecting to see his eyes rolled back into his head in unparalleled ecstacy but instead finds them closed. His head is also tilted back at an angle that seems to indicate slumber more than the best head of his life, but she perseveres because NO WAY can Man be sleeping while he’s getting the blow job to end all blow jobs. Until she hears a faint sound beneath her moaning. Woman pauses in her ministrations to be sure she’s hearing what she thinks she’s hearing. Yup. He’s snoring. Man has fallen asleep.
Can you imagine? I WISH a man would fall asleep with his dick in my mouth. Maaaaan I would bite that shit off faster than…I don’t know what. But with a quickness. Of course one does have to wonder whether Woman’s head game was really on point if Man could have dropped asleep. But regardless. That is just rude!
So tell me ladies and gents what would you do? If you were giving someone head and they fell asleep would you
cut his/her ass in both the literal and figurative senses ever see or speak to him/her again? If you were the one who fell asleep would you think you were justified? How profusely would you apologize? Speak your piece in the comments.
Oh and I have an update for you guys on last week’s scenario. Would you believe that Woman called Man up a week later at 1:30 in the morning asking if he was home so she could come over to bone? And yes – that trifling hoe still has a boyfriend. Can you believe it? He didn’t let her come over though;
probably because he knows that if he did I would write about him like a dog I am so proud.