I Wish Someone Would: The Booty Call Edition

30
Nov
2010
man_and_woman_on_bed_not_talking_8353

I heard a story the other day that blew my mind. It was so ridiculous I wished it had happened to me so that I could blog about it. I wanted to know what my dear friends and readers would have done in that situation. And so a new series is born.


Welcome to “I Wish Someone Would” where I give you a scenario and you tell me what you would have done if it had happened to you. Ready? Let’s begin.

Okay here’s the situation my parents went away on a week’s vacation:

Man and Woman are texting back and forth late at night. Man is at home and Woman is out. Man and Woman have enjoyed a fuck buddy-esque thronx a time or two but it’s been a while since they’ve hooked up. Man invites Woman over and woman accepts.

Woman arrives at Man’s house around 2:15am. By 2:30am she has removed her clothes and is in Man’s bed. Man makes a move for the p*ssy and Woman balks. She doesn’t want to bone. Man is understandably confused – what is Woman doing undressed in Man’s bed at 2:30 in the morning if she’s not looking for peen? Woman explains that she has a boyfriend. Man is still wondering why Woman is undressed in his bed at 2:30 in the morning if she’s not looking for peen. Woman says she just came over to crash. Man is like you’ve got to be kidding me. After much pushing and pulling (but not the kind that Man had in mind) Man accepts that Woman is indeed not giving up the poon. He tells Woman to bounce. Woman is appalled. How can Man be kicking her out of his house at 3 o’clock in the morning? Woman is tired! She came to sleep! Can she just stay? Man; fearing that any action that insults Woman in any way will lead to a trumped up rape charge, agrees to let Woman stay. She sleeps in Man’s bed, Man sleeps in the spare room. When Man wakes up the next morning Woman is gone.

Later in the day Man receives a text message from Woman thanking him for his hospitality and apologizing for any confusion.

Can you imagine? I WISH a man would try coming to my house during prime boning hours and then not give up the peen. There would have been some egregious sexual assaults going on in my house, please believe me. Ladies ladies have we not learned by now that we don’t go to a man’s house and get in his bed unless we want to give him the sugar walls?

Okay so tell me guys, what would you do in this situation?

If you were Man – would you have let her stay?
If you were Woman would you have gone to Man’s house only to sleep? If your answer is yes get off my blog and never come back Would you have left once you realized that he wanted to bone?
If you were Woman’s boyfriend would you have been okay with this?

Weigh in on this – and tell me what you think of this series – in the comments.



63 Comments

  • If you were Man – would you have let her stay?
    If you were Woman would you have gone to Man’s house only to sleep? If your answer is yes get off my blog and never come back Would you have left once you realized that he wanted to bone?
    If you were Woman’s boyfriend would you have been okay with this?

    If I were Man, B*TCH would have to GO or give up the pums.

    If I were Woman, I’d slap myself for even going and I “have a bf”. I’ve been in the situation to “sleep” (bf-less) and ended up doing some touching and before you know it, he was drilling for oil. Once I realized he wanted to bone – IF i wanted to sleep – I’d have obliged. But I wouldn’t find myself there with my BF-hacing @ss.

    If I were Woman’s BF, I’d have been with Woman. She needs to sleep. She can fall asleep with her mouth open on my piece. *shrug*

  • I’ve had similar to almost exact situations like this happen, mostly in my youth. I really have NO IDEA why women do this – but like most of interactions with those of the female persuasion – I generally walk away confused. My answer is two part.

    1) When I was younger, yes I would have let her stay. I would have gone to the other room like a gentlemen if she requested, etc. Because NO (young, foolish) MAN wants to mess up future booty calls because you were an @ss that one time she wasn’t in the mood because she’s crazy and came over at 2am for no good gosh darn reason other than to see if she meant more to you than “just a cut buddy” even if she is and was “just a cut buddy” and as part of this test she left you blue and black balled and dry headed – and I aint talking about the kind head and shoulders can cure.

    2) Nowadays, HELL NAH. I’m a grown @ss man. If you come over BS-ing anytime after 11pm – and mind you I like to sleep so you’ve probably woken me up – we are going to get down to business or you can kick rocks. Or YOU can catch the couch or divide the bed if you want to but I’m definitely not leaving the Sealy Posture Pedic. So, women still play the same games, I just don’t deal with it as friendly as I use to.

    But at the end of the day, for me, I never assume s*x is guaranteed until I’m 2 strokes in, because when it comes to women there’s only one thing I expect – the UN-expected.

    - FIN -

  • Nick@Nite says:

    Hell, at 12 o clock I start getting antsy, looking for the fire exit..
    I WISH I WOULD be GOING to someone’s house at 2 something in the morning talkin bout “I’m tired!” Yo a** found enough energy to GET THERE!!

    “That’s the DUMBEST thing I ever heard in my LIFE!”

    Where is her house that she gotta go to someone else’s house and get nekkid to get some sleep?? There’s all sorts of foolinish and a**ness running through this WHOLE scenario.. I just need a story to make sense, this ish here makes NO sense!
    Di gyal yah nuh right!
    She need two rahtid BOX!!
    BOYFRIEND!?!? I don’t have enough words..

  • Bee says:

    I’m so appalled women still running these games in 2010. I do think shorty did all of this as some kind of test maybe to see if she still had it or something, either way she knew what she was doing.
    If this had happen to me, I’d probably tell a dude to take his nekkid girlfriend ass out my crib, or he could catch the couch, and no I’m not giving u no blanket or pillow. This ain’t grade school, and this ain’t a sleep over, if this girl just wanted to sleep cuz she so tired, she should have kept that ass at home.
    I mean guys I don’t know what to tell, other than be more upfront about it so there’s no confusion. I mean if a dude invites me over, and the street lights are off, I’m telling him right off the bat, nothings goin down! So as sweet as dirty talk and innuendos may be, sometimes you may have to hit a woman off with a “you know we gonna be fukking, right?” Type message so there’s no confusion.
    Me and my ex ran into these problems back in the day, when we, well I was trying to steer our relationship towards a more platonic one after we broke up. Even if I told him nothings happening, he’d still try, and nothing would happen, well for him anyways! But I felt as long as he was given the disclaimer I’d done my part.

  • Woman of Inspiration says:

    What di rass????????

    Who is this woman? She has NO home training…

    I can’t, I can’t…….

    I want to comment but there is nothing to say, this is pure foolishness, *steupse…!

    Women we GOT to do better, stop with the madness.

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    This is sheer madness. WisdomIsMisery is spot on with his first point. In my youth, I would have straight shrugged it off and kept it moving b/c you never know what the future holds and I NEVER, NEVER would burn a potential poon bridge…it’s almost a one step backwards two steps forward kind of deal….

    …Having said that, if a woman pulled that stunt on me now, I think I would cut her off. First and foremost what a grandiose waste of my time. Secondly, at my age, this kind of thing shouldn’t be happening anymore. If you’ve got a man, you have no business cotching up in my bed…If you’re not interested in a peen sandwich, you shouldn’t be knocking on the diner door after hours…Thirdly, what a big tease. Really, who does this shit anymore? Actually max, I’m kind of salty that you told this story, the more I think about it, the more upset it’s making me….it seems like pure disrespect to the man, and to her own man….Seriously, we’re grown, respect the sovereignty of my space. You can’t come up in my space at those kind of hours, get your kit off, lay down next to me and talk about you can’t dip b/c you’ve got a man. Get the f*** outta here….

    …Okay, I’m sorry for the rant. But this has me steamed.

  • If dude was greasy… he would call homegirl’s “boyfriend” and be like… “yo, your girl was really tired (and a litte tipsy) last night after the club – I know because we’d been texting the whole time she was there. She came by the crib to crash. After she took off her clothes and got into bed with me I tried to smash – but – don’t worry she wouldn’t let me. That’s when I found out about you. Be proud. Anyways, I just put her in a taxi – she’s on her way…. just wanted to let you know in case you were expecting her.”

    If she thinks there’s nothing wrong with coming by the crib at 2:30 then her boyfriend shouldn’t think anything of it easier.

    The only viable reasons I can see for this are that she, somehow, went to a club really far from her house… like… more than an hour… and the dude she was texting happened to live right across the street from the club. Even still, if she didn’t let him know there would be no smashing she’s foul. And even if she did, jumping into the bed… naked or semi naked…. with another dude, is a violation. Her boyfriend should consider finding a new mate.

  • LaLaBakir says:

    That’s just dumb. I wouldn’t even put myself in the situation if I wasn’t trying to smash. Furthermore, who goes to cuddle w/ an ex f*ck buddy? That don’t even make sense. I wanna smack this selfish bish in the head. I mean really…you already have a boyfriend…now you’re wasting valuable time in this man’s bed when I can be over there getting my back blown out?!! You selfish bish you!!!

  • We missed the most inappropriate part of the whole thing, why she was texting a dude she used to have relations with on the late night booty call hours tip when she had a boyfriend. That’s where she was in the wrong.

    Plus, if you come over to a person’s place at 215AM, you want to smash, point, blank, period. 99% of the time…

    Only reason I say that is because I have gotten a call from a female friend before who is like, let me use miles to put this in perspective.

    her: J, can I come to your spot? I don’t think I can make it home.
    J: Yeah, where are you?
    her: I’m like [2 miles away]. (She lives like 12 miles away).

    Because it’s a friend and I don’t want her to end up sitting in a tree with her car next to her. I’ll oblige. But i’m going to need a qualifying statement, “I don’t think I can make it home” meaning i’m too drunk to drive.

  • Sweetness says:

    she lucky he was a nice dude…… i know i wouldnt have been so nice….that is some B S…….

    if she just wanted to crash….. why take off all your clothes… in front of old dude…. nawww

    i wish a brother would do some shyt like that to me……….

    she needs to do better

  • Woman is wrong on all levels. First of all, she has a bf, but she’s been texting this dude all night. About what, bible study? The moment he invited her over, she knew what was up. And if her man found out, he would know what was up, too. smh… So disrespectful.

    If I were the man, I would respectfully ask her to get her naked body out of my bed and out of my house. He didn’t know she had a bf, so he has every right to take back his invitation.

    If I was the woman… well, I wouldn’t be this woman. What I look like spending all night texting my former cutty, knowing I have a boyfriend and have no intention of thronxing.

    If I was the boyfriend, she would no longer be my girlfriend. Trifling heffa…

  • max says:

    I soooo wish a man would pull this on me. I really do. I’m long overdue to go well and truly apeshit on someone’s ass and this is a prime opportunity to do so.

  • Starita34 says:

    Fresh Prince reference! WIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!
    I’ve missed you dear!

    NIA and WIM share my sentiments. I won’t regurgitate them, but trick is 1)Naked w/ cut buddy and 2)Has a man. Where’s the confusion? You my friend, are triflin and wrong.

    But with that said, if a man that is and always has been only a friend called me at 2 am to crash at my house with all his clothes on, I wouldn’t trip at all.

  • Mel says:

    I’ve had a man come over at 4am and just flat out crash. And my place is nowhere on the way to anything so he came out all that way to sleep. We got it in in the morning though but thats the closest I’ve gotten to that.

  • streetztalk says:

    IM sorry but I say this all the time…. chicks push the limit with lil girl shit like that. Shes lucky dude was a gentleman or had sense. A lot of dudes wouldve forced themselves on her… its crazy man. That type of cock tease is uncalled for.

    Me? 2:00 you come in my house

    2:05 you take off clothes

    2:10 you say we not smashin?

    2:16 we kickin you OUT!

  • Kema says:

    “If your answer is yes get off my blog and never come back”

    Well… I confess I have done this. Many times! However I did not have a man. Sometimes you do not want to be alone after the club but dont wanna bump either. Of course I would have let him know before I came over what it was.

    I’ll be back tomorrow!!

    • max says:

      KEMA! You must cease and desist immediately!
      It doesn’t matter if you have a man or not this behaviour is not okay! Her having a man just made her grimy on top of stupid and trifling.
      Don’t let me find out you pulled this again after reading this post.

      • Kema says:

        lol! I think every woman that does this knows exactly which guys she can do it to. There is a reason I’m coming over to chill but do not want a piece of him.

        I promise not to do this in the future… That is if my first choice would just answer the phone! Hah!

        • Somewhere in Kema-Land there’s a simp of a man who complains to his friends about ‘his home-girl Kema’ who comes over half-tipsy after the club on Friday nights but never lets him smash. His friends clown him and tell him to JPYDO (just pull your d*ck out) on her and make her make a decision. He laughs and says he would never do that because he’s a gentleman and Kema’s a nice girl… potential wifey material

          Meanwhile, on the otherside of Kema-Land, on Saturday nights, Kema’s got 12 play 1 and 2 on repeat with so and so who might punch her in the face if she came over at 2 am and didn’t give up the good.

          It’s hard out there for a SIMP… (pause)

  • Sex Tips Gal says:

    Love the series idea :)

    Here are my thoughts:

    If you were Man – would you have let her stay? HUM, no but depends on the person, since they knew each other for a while, that’s why he let her stay. Plus it can keep their booty call relationship on hold until she’s ready to do it again ;)

    If you were Woman would you have gone to Man’s house only to sleep? HA! love how you kicked out women that would only go to “sleep” – of course women don’t go to sleep only! We know when we do something like that, that there are hidden intentions behind….

    Would you have left once you realized that he wanted to bone? If I can yes, but if I can’t drive (sleepy, drinking) I would not have left.

    If you were Woman’s boyfriend would you have been okay with this? HELL NO!

  • emti says:

    i wish a man would do this to me…he’d be sleeping in the car
    i don’t do that room mate bullshit
    (OMG I’m becoming Maxie)

    • emti says:

      actually come to think about i kicked my ex-boyfriend out one night when he came over after being out with the boys to “crash”…i was like ohhhh hell nawwww this is not a motel…if nothing is gwaning then get to stepping

      i was so scrappy in my younger days wasn’t i maxie?

  • It happened to me says:

    I am only keeping this anonymous because I KNOW that the “Him” in this story reads this blog once in awhile to keep tabs on me.

    My old FwB (we are actually great friends) and I are texting one night at approximately 9 PM. He tells me its too late for him to drive up since it’s a 2 hour drive. I want to see him badly ( I NEEDED it) so I continue to ask him to come see me well actually I begged and finagled a lot and he finally obliged (like he usually did). Once he got to my city he calls and texts me a message letting me know he made it. I get VERY excited and start salivating at the idea of hair pulling, nasty talking, ass spanking, back breaking sex seeing him. I then return his call to tell him I fell asleep but to give me about a half hour to freshen up. Do you know this ninja then tells me that he doesn’t want to have sex?!??! That he drove 2 MOTHERFCUKING hours to TALK? He goes on to explain that he never intended to have sex with me because he thinks we need to talk about his feelings!!! He says he wants to cuddle and sh*t though and he is even willing to pay for a room to do so. I went ape sh*t….I mean just bananas! I couldn’t believe it, my FWB who should be a plumber by night was becoming a simp. I told him he was out of his fcuking mind and I hang up and go back to sleep.

    Moral of the story: Men pull this dumb sh*t too.

    • max says:

      “He goes on to explain that he never intended to have sex with me because he thinks we need to talk about his feelings!!! “

      That tells me everything I need to know about this dude right there.

    • Sam Sharpe says:

      “Moral of the story: Men pull this dumb sh*t too”.

      I refuse to believe it.

      • max says:

        I’m willing to concede that sometimes men come to women’s houses not intending to bone. But not at 2am and they don’t strip off their clothes and talk about I just wnant to sleep. I don’t believe any man does that.

        And the man in this story is clearly a panty meat. He wants to talk about his feelings?!? Come on!

        • It happened to me says:

          Max, I’ve read your response like 5 times and laugh every.single.time.

        • keisha brown says:

          falls out at panty meat.

        • r0cktheMike says:

          HAHAHA…. Never are talking about my feelings a topic. BUTTTTTTT if I’ve been talking to a chick and she’s like “every nigga just wants to fuck” I have tried to come over and not smash (most times it gets tossed at me though). Have I made a big mistake by trying not to smash? I wonder if the three chicks in question were upset. I feel like I should call and apologize.

          O but if an ex fuck buddy pulled something like that it wouldnt go well. I don’t have the heart to put a chick out unless she completely pisses me off but she would NEVER come over again and I would ignore her text after 5. She’s only allowed to text me while I’m at work going forward

    • streetztalk says:

      Now I see why you went anonymous. Its hard to call a former FWB homosexual to their face, especially with damning evidence like this!

      • max says:

        LMAO Streetz!

        • It happened to me says:

          iCan’t!!!

          Now, now Streetz…calling him a homo is a bit harsh. He just caught feelings like a simp good dude does sometimes. I went anonymous to protect his feelings and because I know he looks for my picture for my comments.

          How does a rough neck turn to panty meat? SMH

          • streetztalk says:

            You need a LOT more people than you currently have.

            Thats like me driving from NYC to Philly… From Seattle to Portland… From LA to Santa Barbara…. From TDOT to London ON at night… just to talk? and you’re not my gf and we didnt have a breakup fight? Nah man you are doing the dougie with rainbow tassels on your shoes buddy.

            • It happened to me says:

              DEAD! I’ve flatlined__________________ at “dougieing with rainbow tassles”.
              So you’ve never pulled any “soft” moves Senor E-bragas? o_0 Doubt it! lolololol
              DEAD really this time! Up in heaven floating around with Peter and’em.

              • streetztalk says:

                #1 Te conozco ahora… no debes usar frasos como su persona publica :P

                #2 I’ve done things that may be perceived as soft, but nothing that in the realm of a relationship would be side eye worthy. Me driving 2 hours to talk about MY feelings? Im sorry, this is real life not a novela.

                We got skype for that

                -Fin-

                • It happened to me says:

                  Tienes razon, tienes razon! Acepto la correccion. :-D

                • Starita34 says:

                  Yeah you totally gave yourself away Love…lol Oh well if he’s just skimmin for pics…you’ll skate by…and if not, maybe he’ll learn a lil something about himself…

                  • It happened to me says:

                    Yeah, I did kinda huh? You wouldn’t believe the sh*t I’ve gone through because of some things I posted on this blog ( and another site). I ended deleted my Twitter account. Some people like drama I guess…I’m not one of those people. *sigh*

                  • Starita34 says:

                    Ridiculous, but a lil honesty shouldn’t hurt him too much…he’s stalking you for a reason…maybe this will be his reason to STOP THAT SIMPIN ISH Mary!! She’s not the one for you Boo!!

                    • It happened to me says:

                      Star! You ain’t NEVER lied! He could tell me some things I said to other people verbatim?!?! It is what it is. I did it to my damn self.

            • max says:

              Streetz how much do I love that you said tdot to london ontario? My current home and my home town! and a drive I have done for chex before.

  • thefabfoodie says:

    If you were Man – would you have let her stay?
    If you were Woman would you have gone to Man’s house only to sleep? If your answer is yes get off my blog and never come back Would you have left once you realized that he wanted to bone?
    If you were Woman’s boyfriend would you have been okay with this?

    If I was a man – she would have been walking to her car with some seriously hurt feelings. I would’ve watched from the door, though, to make sure she got to her car safely. Bish, this ain’t the Do Drop Inn. If you come to my house during PRIME BOOTY CALL HOURS, be prepared to get it in.

    As a woman, if I’m out and about and having drinks and calling a dude while doing all of the above, I’m not calling you to tell you how much fun I’m having. No sir. I’m calling you cause I’m tryna keep the party going sans clothes.

  • Don’t never ever joke about rape or sexual assault, it makes people feel like in some situations it may be called for our socially acceptable – it’s not. That out of the way this is supremely ridiculous

  • SmartFoxGirl says:

    Why am I now just checking out your blog? I read a few posts and my goodness FINALLY someone not afraid to talk about s.ex online. It’s late and I’m clearly late but I will be back. Good post. And I wish a man would come to my house with this god awful tease….he will be tied up and assaulted in all orifices. Then I would leave him there with no food/water until the same time the next day…so he can think about what he’s done. That’s what he gets.

  • Iceburg says:

    I love this post Max, I’m also loving the comments.

  • Diggame says:

    The guy played it right by just throwing up his hands in defeat but I wouldn’t fuck with her like that ever again in my life though

  • HLBB says:

    I’ve read this three times.

    WHAT IN THE MUTHAFUCKING RASS???
    (I’m Canadian with West Indian Roots)

    Bitch has got a boyfriend. What is her fucking problem.
    You get naked and then say you want to sleep? Sleep nude, fine. SLEEP nude in your own bed. Or here’s a thought: SLEEP NUDE IN YOUR BOYFRIENDS BED!

    Max, I know you were being fair is asking a woman if she would leave once she realized the guy wanted to bone. SHE GOT NAKED! NEKKID!!! WHAT DID SHE EXPECT HIM TO DO?? Watch a Twilight marathon??

    I had to drop a Women’s Studies course in Uni for discussing this scenario, I was the only girl in the class that sided with the male…so before I say anything else…

    I’d smack her, but some bitches ain’t worth the slap.

  • that was retarded of ol’ girl, and she should have been tossed out. if the tables were turned and a man did that to me, i would make him leave. i guess it depends on what limits you have pre-established, but if i’m s3xting with a dude and he comes over for naptime, i’d be pissed. this happened with someone i was dating seriously once and i was so frustrated/upset that i left without saying goodbye.


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