What I Wish I Was Eating Today

EatingCake

Those of you who know me in real life know I have some pretty epic digestion issues. I’m not gonna get into details here but suffice it to say I can’t eat anything good in life. The list is extensive, but eggs, dairy, red meat, and the dark meat of poultry are all included. As a result holiday meals for me usually consist of two Tim Horton’s bagels stashed in my purse that I try to eat surreptitiously. It’s not fun. Nor does it make an interesting blog post. So I thought we’d talk about what I would be eating today if the gods of digestion decided to smile at me this Thanksgiving.

Breakfast:

I don’t know if this is a Trini thing or just a my family thing, but holiday breakfast always involves copious amounts of homemade bread. Preferably made by my aunties but my own will also do nicely. It will be slathered with obscene amounts of salted butter (I only have unsalted in my life. It tastes like spit) and piled with ham. And cheese (I have not eaten cheese in 15 years!). And chow-chow. Now this isn’t that traditional but I also have to have scrambled eggs, only because I make the most amazing scrambled eggs ever (and I haven’t eaten them in 15 years) and retarded amounts of homefries. Reeeeeetarded.

Breakfast Dessert:

Yes, breakfast dessert. Melissa knows what I’m talking about. It’s all about the Lorna Doones here. They are the perfect breakfast dessert because they’re sweet but not too sweet and they’re little so you can eat a good amount and not feel like you’re gonna bust.

Lunch:

The biggest corned beef sandwich you can imagine. Hot. On toasted rye bread with melted mozzarella and a mixture of Dijon, honey-mustard, and regular old French’s. With a mountain of fresh cut fries. Yup.

Dinner:

Oh man. I havent had a proper dinner in a long time. And by proper I mean one that included meat. So for this imaginary Thanskgiving meal I’m having me some pork chops! I know I should be saying turkey or something but nope. Pork chops au jus with baked beans…that would be my death row meal for sure. I love pork chops and I haven’t had them in 15 years. With this I am also having pan-roasted Brussel Sprouts (with bacon of course) and mashed potato balls. And I would explain to you what mashed potato balls are but it’s kinda gross and I’m worried you guys won’t like me anymore.

Dessert:

Two words: cheesecake. Oh wait – that’s one word. Let me rephrase: Red-Velvet Cheesecake. Because I have not eaten cheesecake in – say it with me – 15 years and I’ve never eaten Red Velvet cake at all.

So that’s my fantasy meal. What I will actually eating today will pale in comparison but we’re not gonna get into that right now. So tell me American people – what are you eating today? Be as descriptive as possible…I like to eat vicariously. Non-US peeps, what do you wish you were eating today?

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 11

  1. sweet tea says:

    Omg. It has been years since I’ve eaten homemade bread. I’m not a big thanksgiving person but I love apple pie and will eat more dessert than dinner.

  2. Melissa says:

    Max I love you for giving breakfast dessert it’s due course. It’s taking over the world and my fave meal of the day!

    I also love that you mentioned porkchops. I love the pig and am often criticized for my love of the pig.

    Annnnnd red velvet cheesecake is the biz. My fave red velvet cheesecake is from the cheesecake factory but now presidents choice makes a mini one that’s just as good.

    Yum yumm. I’m all over this post because if there’s one thing I love more than my dog and sexy time, it’s food.

    Oh and when are we going for perogie poutine?!?!

  3. RealTalkSuki says:

    Max, I’m sorry *hugs*

    But right now, from what I’ve heard and prepared, there’s jollof rice. (Naija stuff) and madsome chicken. I want to say mashed potatoes are in there. Some gravy. Some other stuff. *shrug* I was never too excited for Thanksgiving unless we’re having a crazy amount of guests over.

    But I hope this issue goes away. And soon. :-/

    p.s. I gotta reclaim my spot as the 1st to comment on your blog. Give it time. It’s gonna happen.

    p.p.s Oreo Cheesecake. A.Mazing.

  4. Sasha says:

    I’m not that big on these big holiday meals but this is what will be on our table. It’s a potluck mix of southern and Cali influences. 

    Dinner will feature turkey, ham, greens, cornbread, Mac and cheese* (a mix of cheap and gourmet cheese is what makes it yummy), dressing*, potato salad, deviled eggs*, dinner rolls with real butter* and some store bought crap from people too lazy to cook. 

    On the dessert menu there will be sweet potato pie, chocolate cake, various kinds of cookies and homemade ice cream. 

    What I would love to eat today is a layered sweet potato and pecan pie. The bakery I used to get it from closed down and I have tried repeatedly to bake my own but it never turns out just right even though I’m an experienced cook. Oh well. 

    *my favs

  5. Nick@Nite says:

    Why am I up at 6 in the morning?

    Dinner consisted of.. Turkey, Ham, Oxtail, gungu peas and rice, Broccoli casserole (which was EXCELLENT!) mac and cheese, cranberry sumthing (eww), Green Beans, and rolls…
    i think that’s it.. (consults the camera) Stuffing, and plantains…

    it was wretched, you hear me.. WRETCHED!!
    I’m sorry about your eating issues Max. I can’t even imagine..
    oh.. and for desert there was Pumpkin cake, sweet potato pie, jamaican fruitcake, and bread pudding.. would you believe that after all of that, I wanted to drive by Cold Stone to see if they were open..
    (I don’t like cake, what’d they expect)

    1. keisha brown says:

      @nick..
      you had me at oxtail.
      that is all.

  6. average chick says:

    Sorry to hear about your condition. I just had chili for Thanksgiving dinner. I can’t really eat all the heavy stuff anymore.

  7. Starita34 says:

    I died a lil inside to hear this very sad news. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus that when we meet and become bestest friends, which we will do, I will learn your dietary restrictions and feed you properly. This I swear. BoyzIIMen.

    What didn’t I bake/cook this weekend?
    -yeast rolls
    -fruit pizza
    -fried pork chops
    -oven mac-n-cheese
    -smoked turkey
    -roasted turkey
    -cornbread stuffing
    -strawberry pretzel salad
    -noodles (these were frozen, not homemade boooo)
    -lemon pound cake
    -red hot cinnamon popcorn
    -caramallows (marshmallows, dipped in caramel, rolled in rice krispies)
    -green bean casserole
    -Mexican corn
    -corn casserole
    -chipotle egg muffin (if you can eat chiptole mayo, I highly encourage it, you’ll find yourself putting it on everaythang!)
    -sweet potatoes
    -peanut butter blossoms
    -chocolate chip and pecan cookies…
    seriously there’s more, but I can’t go on…I’ve got a food baby just thinking about it all!

    Seriously…I will feed you one day…my boss has many a dietary restriction and I made her an epic carrot cake with cream cheese frosting…we can work this out…Yes We Can!

  8. Capricorn says:

    caramellows? I need these in my life space!!

    what is strawberry pretzel salad? I’ve never heard of that.

    1. Starita34 says:

      Crushed pretzels and butter make a pretzel crust, then whipped cream, sugar, and cream cheese make a tasty waterproof barrier for the strawberries, jello, and pineapple juice that you put on top. “Salad” is used in the looooosest of ways. Kat Stacks. Pretty tasty, if you want one or both of those recipes, you can e-mail me at starita34@gmail.com.

      Pic of what strawberry pretzel salad look like –> http://bit.ly/he3iDM

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