Those of you who know me in real life know I have some pretty epic digestion issues. I’m not gonna get into details here but suffice it to say I can’t eat anything good in life. The list is extensive, but eggs, dairy, red meat, and the dark meat of poultry are all included. As a result holiday meals for me usually consist of two Tim Horton’s bagels stashed in my purse that I try to eat surreptitiously. It’s not fun. Nor does it make an interesting blog post. So I thought we’d talk about what I would be eating today if the gods of digestion decided to smile at me this Thanksgiving.
I don’t know if this is a Trini thing or just a my family thing, but holiday breakfast always involves copious amounts of homemade bread. Preferably made by my aunties but my own will also do nicely. It will be slathered with obscene amounts of salted butter (I only have unsalted in my life. It tastes like spit) and piled with ham. And cheese (I have not eaten cheese in 15 years!). And chow-chow. Now this isn’t that traditional but I also have to have scrambled eggs, only because I make the most amazing scrambled eggs ever (and I haven’t eaten them in 15 years) and retarded amounts of homefries. Reeeeeetarded.
Yes, breakfast dessert. Melissa knows what I’m talking about. It’s all about the Lorna Doones here. They are the perfect breakfast dessert because they’re sweet but not too sweet and they’re little so you can eat a good amount and not feel like you’re gonna bust.
The biggest corned beef sandwich you can imagine. Hot. On toasted rye bread with melted mozzarella and a mixture of Dijon, honey-mustard, and regular old French’s. With a mountain of fresh cut fries. Yup.
Oh man. I havent had a proper dinner in a long time. And by proper I mean one that included meat. So for this imaginary Thanskgiving meal I’m having me some pork chops! I know I should be saying turkey or something but nope. Pork chops au jus with baked beans…that would be my death row meal for sure. I love pork chops and I haven’t had them in 15 years. With this I am also having pan-roasted Brussel Sprouts (with bacon of course) and mashed potato balls. And I would explain to you what mashed potato balls are but it’s kinda gross and I’m worried you guys won’t like me anymore.
Two words: cheesecake. Oh wait – that’s one word. Let me rephrase: Red-Velvet Cheesecake. Because I have not eaten cheesecake in – say it with me – 15 years and I’ve never eaten Red Velvet cake at all.
So that’s my fantasy meal. What I will actually eating today will pale in comparison but we’re not gonna get into that right now. So tell me American people – what are you eating today? Be as descriptive as possible…I like to eat vicariously. Non-US peeps, what do you wish you were eating today?