The story of me losing my virginity is so crazily epic that the actual sex has gotten lost in the details. When I tell the story (which I am not going to do here today) I usually forget to mention it. Then whomever I’m telling it to will ask “But how was the sex?” and I’ll say “Oh right – it was good. Really good”.
The thing is though that I don’t really remember the sex in any real detail. I remember that it was also the occasion of my first time giving head and the realization that something I had in youthful naïveté dismissed as gross is actually one of life’s greatest pleasures. And I remember this: the dude would slowly slide all but the head of his dick out and then quickly thrust the whole thing back in. That shit had me so open I wanted to drink his fucking bathwater. It doesn’t sound like much and others have used this move on me since, but it was executed so perfectly that I have no doubt he spent time and energy mastering it. It was his signature move and everyone should have one.
Your signature move is sexual maneuver that sets you apart from any others who may have been where you are. It should not only enhance the pleasure of the thronx, but be memorable enough that long after your name is forgotten the move will live on. Bonus if you are also able to perpetuate the #swindle that you reserve said move for special customers only.
Let me give you another example. A woman I know is remembered far and wide for having a man fuck her tits. Not the most original move, but what she does is squirt a little flavoured lube between her big bodacious cha-chas and as her man slides his sword between them she squeezes them around it. When his cock pokes out between the top of her breasts, she takes the head in her mouth. Then she breathily encourages him to bust on her face and rubs a bit of his seeds on her nipples. I’m told the reaction to this is epic.
If you don’t have a signature sex move, you’re failing at life. I mean really, even Seinfeld – arguably the least sexual man in the history of time – has a signature move. You don’t want to be worse off than the least sexual man in the world do you?
Now really your signature move should be something you came up with and perfected on your own, but because I love you all so much I’ll throw out some ideas for those of you who are struggling. Learn, absorb, apply – and then come back here and overshare about it.
Possible Signature Moves for Ladies:
The French Blowjob: This is basically sticking one in the stink while speaking on the mic. It stimulates the prostate, which is good but don’t blame me if you get punched in the face for it – I’ve warned you more than enough times about unauthorized rear entry.
The Hummer: Deep, throaty humming while giving head. Too many women are sleeping on this I’m told.
And for the men:
The G Spot Jiggler: This is really just switching between short, hard strokes and long, slow strokes while hitting it from the back. Nothing amazingly complex but, if executed properly, will dickmatize a woman. Trust me on that.
The Orgasm Enhancer: Okay so you’re giving it to her good with your fingers, tongue or dick and she’s loving it. Keep doing what you’re doing but start putting it on her somewhere else on her body. So say you’re long stroking her and then you hit her with a soul kiss that gets more and more intense. Or you’re eating her pussy like it’s a free buffet and then you suddenly start….well, you get the idea, right?
So do I have a signature move? Well if you’ll pardon my boasting for a moment, let me say that I’m lucky enough to be the kind of woman who is really good in bed without having to work at it. I’m not going to give away all my secrets, but there are certain things that I do automatically or unconsciously that have made men turn fool when I put it on them. But as my favourite person told me, with great pussy comes great responsibility – so while I could just rest on my epic laurels, I don’t. So yes – I do have a signature move. I’ll tell you mine if you guys tell me yours in the comments.