5 Men I Would Like to Sleep With

So we’ve talked about the men I can’t stand, the men I might not date, and the men I’m convinced don’t exist. Let’s spend some time talking about the men to whom I would gladly give the ladyflower, if only they would ask for it.

1. The dread head

I don’t know how this is possible given the amount of bone I’ve had in me, but I’ve never dated a man with dreads. This hurts my feelings, because few things will set my tongue to wagging faster than long, well-maintained locks. If I go to my grave or worse yet, the altar without bagging a dread-headed dude I’m gonna be soooooo hurt.

3. The blogger

I have the most amazing daydreams about getting with Dr. Jay Sam Sharpe Streetz a male blogger. I don’t know why really; I guess it’s partly because relationship bloggers spend so much time writing and thinking about sex that I figure they must be amazing at it, and partly because it’s like sleeping with a celebrity without being called a groupie. Either way, it’s kind of my mission in life to get with a blogger. He has to write about it afterward though because God knows I will be.

4. The nice nasty guy

The trouble with the world is that you can get really tawdry nasty sex from bad dudes whom you probably don’t want to talk to or you can have good but not filthy sex with men whose company you actually enjoy. I want to find a man who has something intelligent to say but will also pull my hair and call me a nasty bitch get a little grimy in the bedroom.

2. The busy dude

For all my dealings with the mythical magical busy dude, I’ve never successfully lured one into my boudoir.  I want to bag one just to see if they’re worth the energy; although I suspect they are not.

5. The ex dude

I’ve never had sex with an ex. This makes me feel badly about myself.

That’s my list, what say you guys? What types have been missing from your boudoir? Speak on it in the comments.

  1. i’ve come close to getting with a chick with locks. mad i missed out on that one.

    also i would get with:

    the super hood chick. this would have to be a one time thing. she couldn’t talk too much before or after either.

    the tatted chick. i’m talking about 10+ tats at least. something about ink is a turn on.

    the singer chick. a woman with a great voice. just sing to me baby.

              1. each ankle, inner thigh, stomach, lower back, shoulder blades, upper back, hip, chest, two on my left arm.

                Wait – is that 11? You guys know I can’t count.

  2. Dread heads are fun b/c you can pull THEIR hair! Oh & the nasty nice guy does exist. But you won’t know until a year or so in…takes that long to unleash their inner freak.

    I’ve always wanted a one nighter/ no namer.

  3. Have I ever told you that I think you are so BAWSE?!?!?!?

    Max, I have slept with the nasty nice guy. He turned me on to some things like hair pulling, calling me nasty and making me beg for more but he is HARD to get out of your system. He would wake me up in the morning with conversation and soft kisses. Don’t say I didn’t warn you because dopamine is a hellofadrug.#RickJames.

    1. Oh I forgot to mention what kinda guy I would like. I would love to be with a man that is a bit thuggish. He would be tall, tatted, buff and tell me to shut up when I needed to. *drooling*

                1. Hater, how are you gonna cock block as full as your e-drawer is full off e-panties!? Tu and I would never work unfortunately due to his hate for the best player in the game! Let’s go Lakers! Sorry, Maxie!

  4. I want to do a nice nasty man with locks! UM YUMMY! Something about the way they cascade past their shoulders, framing those full sexy lips. Strong arm pushing you against the wall. That strong muscular back…

    My Bad….Yeah what you said. lol

  5. A dancer.

    Like Twitch from So You Think You Can Dance or Chris Brown. Not many tall dancers out there. And watching them dance is mesmerizing…so between the sheets…I’m guessing it’ll be BOMB. Breezy, can choke me ever so gently while grinding me up against the wallwith all those tats and his swimmer’s physique.

    1. AND Twitch can wear those glasses and just smile…. I’ll be happy…

      I used to dance, and I had someone tell me that he loved the flexibility. I told him to stop finessin the p*ssy (he was already up in it) because to this day I still can’t do a split..

      reasons why I quit ballet #25,316

      1. See Tu, I feel you on the dance swindle…I’m mean both these dudes may very well be wack in bed…but you’re killing my fantasy,lol. Tell me you don’t see West Indian women windin’ and think they’re probably BOMB in the bed,lol

        See it’s more about their body type. I love a slim, muscular dude…and they’re tall *grabs church fan*.

        1. you’re right. i do think that then i think about that one time i was swindled. sorry max, you’re all not working with something.

          and as per your second point that was where i was going with my kobe comment earlier in the comments.

    2. For some reason there are a lot of secksy dancers in Toronto. And while I wholeheartedly appreciate the esthetics of a dancer’s body, I have no desire to thronx. I think I find it strangely effeminate.

  6. umm.. I’m sure that there are some that I can add to this list, but they are escaping me…

    That dreads business is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH though.. The way that the dreads fall around the face when he’s hovering above you is the stuff of legends. LEGENDS! It also gives me some insight into how I may look to him when I’m on top.. (the things I think about)

    and Yeahhh.. I wouldn’t mind that concept of sleeping with a Blogger.. When minds AND physical attraction meet, then I’m expecting all types of sex that might make my head blow off.

  7. Freaks…lolol

    I fux with Tunde on the hood chick thing.. Its just sumfin about them… Boxcutters and dubies are sessy…lmaooo


    A woman witrh an accent… like a non us accent… WHEW!!!

          1. again cosigning with max
            i’ve never said aboot in my life. unless we’re talking about stiletto knee highs.
            pls and thanks.

    1. i like accents too. foreign accents like british or east african. can’t hate on regional accents too. southern accents (think MS or southern GA). i even like b-more accents (sue me).

      1. I passed a construction worker with long dreads on my way back from my waxing appointment…I was like “come here baby let me show you something…”

            1. I want to meet Max too!!! Sign me up for the next trip. Btw, typing on my crackberry trying to pretend I’m paying attention to this presenter is damn hard/risky….but I love ya’ll!

  8. All this talk of dreds got me thinking about “Dope Boys”

    In the Essex County area of NJ dreds are popular amongst the Dope Boys. The stand on the corner in front of the corner store or chicken shacks looking all sexy in their Dope Boy attire. Gortex Boots, jean, NorthFace SteepTech coats or puff vests, thermals.

    *sighs* I know them ninja’s is up to know good. But I do wonder what it would be like to get with one. He can shake my like DMX did that check in the “How’s It Going Down” video then put it on me like X did that check in Belly.

    Uh huh. Yeah.

  9. Ok, I would like to have the combination platter, a blogger with dreads, who is nice/nasty, and he is a divorcee. Plus, he has tats. I’ve been with brands, and…, eh, it was ok. lol. But I would love little rough neck. lol.

    1. A nice/nasty blogger with dreads could be Mr. Max. For real.
      Oh and I could use a dude with brands. I’ve had it before but it’s worth a return trip. I will never eff with a dude with piercings though. It’s creepy!

  10. For once this week.. I am sure. This post does not make me feel insecure.
    Look at you girls going for hoodlums. Shame on you. You have to be a blogging deliquent to get p)&&y on this site?

    Shame Shame Shame.

    If i had a hit before I die list:

    1)P)rn star. Really see how I’m stacking up
    2)A rape victim. I want to see if I could get her to like peen again. (yes I already know I’m twisted).
    3)An Asian. I heard very submissive. Plus… guaranteed to be the biggest she ever had.
    4)A Mom….. yeah. I want to bang your Momma.

  11. I’ve been with a few on this list. My personal favorite from this list is the man with dreads. Cause hey, I might want to pull some hair too.

    I really liked the post but I gotta say the comments around here are just as awesome. I was giggling at most of them…especially the e-panties one.

  12. number one on my list….a fireman!
    I’ve been with the busy dude, i am not sure it’s worth it but then again, if the sex is really great, then it’s worth it so yea, it was worth it

  13. Where have I been? How could I have missed this post?

    Just an FYI maxie, but with the exception of #5 I check every box…well at least I used to until I cut my dreads. For the record they were well maintained (not too well maintained so I looked like one of those cats from Milli Vanilli or some lame dude with extensions) and shoulder length…..

    ….if I wasn’t so busy I’d be calling you right now to set up a time so that I could pull your hair and smack that…..

    anyway, really can’t believe I missed this post…..

    1. All day yesterday I was like I cannot believe Sam Sharpe has not come in here to taunt me about how he checks all the boxes on my list!

  14. Nice list…I’m pretty much 1-4 on this list. The reason I’m not all 5 is because we’ve never dated. So…technically, if you slept with me, you could knock off this whole list in one (or many) fell swoops.

    I want to have sex with a real hoodrat. Not the hoodrat chicks with college degrees, I mean the super fine hoodrat that pops gum loudly, cusses in the welfare line and carries a razor blade in her mouth. Something about all that attitude leads me to believe that would be the best sex a nigga ever had in his life. I’m not going…b/c I don’t want to deal with the consequences, but it’s nice to think about.

    White woman. I’m just curious to see how they are in bed. I’ve never slept with one…and as far as I can say, I probably never will since I’m not all that attracted to them. I would like to test one out though. Yeah…that didn’t sound right but whatever.

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