5 Men I Would Like to Sleep With

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So we’ve talked about the men I can’t stand, the men I might not date, and the men I’m convinced don’t exist. Let’s spend some time talking about the men to whom I would gladly give the ladyflower, if only they would ask for it.

1. The dread head

I don’t know how this is possible given the amount of bone I’ve had in me, but I’ve never dated a man with dreads. This hurts my feelings, because few things will set my tongue to wagging faster than long, well-maintained locks. If I go to my grave or worse yet, the altar without bagging a dread-headed dude I’m gonna be soooooo hurt.

3. The blogger

I have the most amazing daydreams about getting with Dr. Jay Sam Sharpe Streetz a male blogger. I don’t know why really; I guess it’s partly because relationship bloggers spend so much time writing and thinking about sex that I figure they must be amazing at it, and partly because it’s like sleeping with a celebrity without being called a groupie. Either way, it’s kind of my mission in life to get with a blogger. He has to write about it afterward though because God knows I will be.

4. The nice nasty guy

The trouble with the world is that you can get really tawdry nasty sex from bad dudes whom you probably don’t want to talk to or you can have good but not filthy sex with men whose company you actually enjoy. I want to find a man who has something intelligent to say but will also pull my hair and call me a nasty bitch get a little grimy in the bedroom.

2. The busy dude

For all my dealings with the mythical magical busy dude, I’ve never successfully lured one into my boudoir.  I want to bag one just to see if they’re worth the energy; although I suspect they are not.

5. The ex dude

I’ve never had sex with an ex. This makes me feel badly about myself.

That’s my list, what say you guys? What types have been missing from your boudoir? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 92

  1. streetztalk says:

    Ive heard chicks who cant count are tigers in bed…

    lol

    1. max says:

      We are baby, we are.

  2. i’ve come close to getting with a chick with locks. mad i missed out on that one.

    also i would get with:

    the super hood chick. this would have to be a one time thing. she couldn’t talk too much before or after either.

    the tatted chick. i’m talking about 10+ tats at least. something about ink is a turn on.

    the singer chick. a woman with a great voice. just sing to me baby.

    1. LaLaBakir says:

      Gotdamn at 10 tats! Let me find out Tu gotta a little hood in him :p

      1. lol i’m not hood at all. i mean i have 4 tats (with plans for at least 2 more) and 4 brands so i just like body art. :-)

        1. LaLaBakir says:

          LOL, it’s cool

          I have 4 myself. And like you said…its art :)

          1. max says:

            I have 11 tats.
            #justsaying

            1. LaLaBakir says:

              o_O Geezus! Go head girl! Where are they?

              1. max says:

                each ankle, inner thigh, stomach, lower back, shoulder blades, upper back, hip, chest, two on my left arm.

                Wait – is that 11? You guys know I can’t count.

                1. LaLaBakir says:

                  Yeah, that’s 11 boo :D

                  Mine are behind my right ear, near my right hip bone,under my left collar bone, and 1 unmentionable spot

                  1. streetztalk says:

                    :LaLa is #AllTattedup lol

                    1. LaLaBakir says:

                      :p A little something. I’m stopping at 5.

                  2. CHeeKZHole says:

                    “1 unmentionable spot”

                    Wait… who did that Tatoo?
                    Some grimey hair biker?
                    And it it really right there

                    1. LaLaBakir says:

                      Nah, it was a Hispanic dude from Miami

                      Ummm, it’s not THERE…but let’s just say I’d have to be bucket nekkid for you to see it

  3. Alovelydai says:

    Dread heads are fun b/c you can pull THEIR hair! Oh & the nasty nice guy does exist. But you won’t know until a year or so in…takes that long to unleash their inner freak.

    I’ve always wanted a one nighter/ no namer.

  4. B_P says:

    Have I ever told you that I think you are so BAWSE?!?!?!?

    Max, I have slept with the nasty nice guy. He turned me on to some things like hair pulling, calling me nasty and making me beg for more but he is HARD to get out of your system. He would wake me up in the morning with conversation and soft kisses. Don’t say I didn’t warn you because dopamine is a hellofadrug.#RickJames.

    1. BP says:

      Oh I forgot to mention what kinda guy I would like. I would love to be with a man that is a bit thuggish. He would be tall, tatted, buff and tell me to shut up when I needed to. *drooling*

      1. buff like 50 cent buff or buff like kobe bryant buff?

        1. max says:

          Ew Kobe Bryant. Yuck. He is so not sexy.
          I just had to say that.

          1. lol i wasn’t implying that. i was referring to basketball player’s body build.

            #TeamEffKobe

            1. max says:

              I know. But any time he is mentioned here I have to say something negative about him. It’s a rule.

            2. BP says:

              I prefer a b-ball players physique because I’m 5’7 and can appreciate a man w/ long strong legs! *fanning self*

              1. streetztalk says:

                Stop bein fresh dama…lol

                1. BP says:

                  Hater, how are you gonna cock block as full as your e-drawer is full off e-panties!? Tu and I would never work unfortunately due to his hate for the best player in the game! Let’s go Lakers! Sorry, Maxie!

                  1. i don’t deny that kobe has skills. he’s just a b*tch. *shrug* 5’7″ you say?

                    1. BP says:

                      Yes, 5’7…..how tall are you again like 6’6 or ? Hmmmmmmmmmm?

    2. max says:

      I think you are BAWSE too!

      1. BP says:

        Thanks Maxie…..but I’m learning a lot from you!!!

    3. Starita34 says:

      Withdrawal is REAL!!! (did we date the same guy??)

      1. BP says:

        Wouldn’t that be something Star? He might just be. Lol!

  5. BGirl says:

    I want to do a nice nasty man with locks! UM YUMMY! Something about the way they cascade past their shoulders, framing those full sexy lips. Strong arm pushing you against the wall. That strong muscular back…

    My Bad….Yeah what you said. lol

    1. max says:

      “Strong arm pushing you against the wall. That strong muscular back…”

      Yes!

  6. LaLaBakir says:

    A dancer.

    Like Twitch from So You Think You Can Dance or Chris Brown. Not many tall dancers out there. And watching them dance is mesmerizing…so between the sheets…I’m guessing it’ll be BOMB. Breezy, can choke me ever so gently while grinding me up against the wallwith all those tats and his swimmer’s physique.

    1. Nick@Nite says:

      AND Twitch can wear those glasses and just smile…. I’ll be happy…

      I used to dance, and I had someone tell me that he loved the flexibility. I told him to stop finessin the p*ssy (he was already up in it) because to this day I still can’t do a split..

      reasons why I quit ballet #25,316

      1. LaLaBakir says:

        WORD!!! Flexibility is a bish!

    2. ahhh the dance swindle.

      1. LaLaBakir says:

        See Tu, I feel you on the dance swindle…I’m mean both these dudes may very well be wack in bed…but you’re killing my fantasy,lol. Tell me you don’t see West Indian women windin’ and think they’re probably BOMB in the bed,lol

        See it’s more about their body type. I love a slim, muscular dude…and they’re tall *grabs church fan*.

        1. max says:

          “Tell me you don’t see West Indian women windin’ and think they’re probably BOMB in the bed,lol”

          We are though.

          1. keisha brown says:

            LOL.
            exactly what i was gonna say!
            toot, toot.

          2. Lady B says:

            Beep Beep

        2. you’re right. i do think that then i think about that one time i was swindled. sorry max, you’re all not working with something.

          and as per your second point that was where i was going with my kobe comment earlier in the comments.

    3. max says:

      For some reason there are a lot of secksy dancers in Toronto. And while I wholeheartedly appreciate the esthetics of a dancer’s body, I have no desire to thronx. I think I find it strangely effeminate.

      1. LaLaBakir says:

        Eww, I know! It’s only certain dancers that I would rock w/. I don’t need a dude more dainty than I.

      2. LaLaBakir says:

        Im watchin the vid for Take You Down now and I’m moisted and you can not tell me Chris won’t put down the knick knack paddy whack! LMAO

  7. Nick@Nite says:

    umm.. I’m sure that there are some that I can add to this list, but they are escaping me…

    That dreads business is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH though.. The way that the dreads fall around the face when he’s hovering above you is the stuff of legends. LEGENDS! It also gives me some insight into how I may look to him when I’m on top.. (the things I think about)

    and Yeahhh.. I wouldn’t mind that concept of sleeping with a Blogger.. When minds AND physical attraction meet, then I’m expecting all types of sex that might make my head blow off.

    1. max says:

      The way that the dreads fall around the face when he’s hovering above you is the stuff of legends

      THIS is what I need in my life!

      1. Nick@Nite says:

        and you KNOW which dreads I’m talking about!!
        mm-HMM

  8. streetztalk says:

    Freaks…lolol

    I fux with Tunde on the hood chick thing.. Its just sumfin about them… Boxcutters and dubies are sessy…lmaooo

    Also,

    A woman witrh an accent… like a non us accent… WHEW!!!

    1. max says:

      Like a Canadian accent?? :-P

      1. streetztalk says:

        Canandians sound like they are from middle america, except for the “ehs” and “abooots” lol

        1. max says:

          For the record, I do not say abooot. I do say eh though.

          1. emti says:

            yes you do say aboot

          2. keisha brown says:

            again cosigning with max
            i’ve never said aboot in my life. unless we’re talking about stiletto knee highs.
            pls and thanks.

        2. LaLaBakir says:

          SMH at me thinking of Lord of The Rings (Middle Earth)

    2. Nick@Nite says:

      or a Jamaican one.. that can also do British?
      i effs with accents.. A LOT!

      1. LaLaBakir says:

        Nicki Minaj? LOL, j/k

        1. streetztalk says:

          British and Ja accents are cool

          latin accents yesss

          even a nice Aowwstralian!

          1. max says:

            Don’t forget Trini accents. I know you love the Trinis Streetz.

    3. i like accents too. foreign accents like british or east african. can’t hate on regional accents too. southern accents (think MS or southern GA). i even like b-more accents (sue me).

  9. max says:

    Shit you know what I forgot? The construction worker. Eff these suit and tie negroes I need to experience a man with calluses!

    1. LaLaBakir says:

      *dead*

      You know what…that fantasy doesn’t sound so bad

      1. max says:

        I passed a construction worker with long dreads on my way back from my waxing appointment…I was like “come here baby let me show you something…”

        1. LaLaBakir says:

          LOVE IT!!!

          I must meet you Max…I think we’d be trouble,lol

          1. max says:

            Oh yes. The world is not ready for the two of us together.

            1. BP says:

              I want to meet Max too!!! Sign me up for the next trip. Btw, typing on my crackberry trying to pretend I’m paying attention to this presenter is damn hard/risky….but I love ya’ll!

              1. max says:

                Ladies check your email.

              2. BP says:

                Awww,I feel the love and I’m so in! I’m actually going to DC for a conference in June….when is everyone planning to go?

                1. blogger round up? i’m from dc. i might have moved back by then and then again i might move somewhere else after graduation. who knows?

            2. #pause nice image though.

  10. LaLaBakir says:

    All this talk of dreds got me thinking about “Dope Boys”

    In the Essex County area of NJ dreds are popular amongst the Dope Boys. The stand on the corner in front of the corner store or chicken shacks looking all sexy in their Dope Boy attire. Gortex Boots, jean, NorthFace SteepTech coats or puff vests, thermals.

    *sighs* I know them ninja’s is up to know good. But I do wonder what it would be like to get with one. He can shake my like DMX did that check in the “How’s It Going Down” video then put it on me like X did that check in Belly.

    Uh huh. Yeah.

  11. Ok, I would like to have the combination platter, a blogger with dreads, who is nice/nasty, and he is a divorcee. Plus, he has tats. I’ve been with brands, and…, eh, it was ok. lol. But I would love little rough neck. lol.

    1. max says:

      A nice/nasty blogger with dreads could be Mr. Max. For real.
      Oh and I could use a dude with brands. I’ve had it before but it’s worth a return trip. I will never eff with a dude with piercings though. It’s creepy!

    2. LaLaBakir says:

      Combination Platter…pick it up!

      *hits bell*

  12. CHeeKZHole says:

    For once this week.. I am sure. This post does not make me feel insecure.
    Look at you girls going for hoodlums. Shame on you. You have to be a blogging deliquent to get p)&&y on this site?

    Shame Shame Shame.

    If i had a hit before I die list:

    1)P)rn star. Really see how I’m stacking up
    2)A rape victim. I want to see if I could get her to like peen again. (yes I already know I’m twisted).
    3)An Asian. I heard very submissive. Plus… guaranteed to be the biggest she ever had.
    4)A Mom….. yeah. I want to bang your Momma.

    1. LaLaBakir says:

      SMH @ You CHeeKZ

      You make me laugh. And I’m ashamed b/c your #2 is sick,lol

    2. asian. hmm. i’ve only ever had sex with black women. sometimes i wonder if sex is different with different races (even though i know it’s probably not).

  13. streetztalk says:

    LOL BP!! I wasn’t even goin there!! E-guilty much?!! :p

    No me molesta amorcita. Solamente digo chistes ;) No seas anojado como “Mr SMH” en SBM, ajajjajajaja

    1. B_P says:

      Lo que sea! Su nuevo nombre va a ser senor e-bragas! LOL …. odia!

      1. streetztalk says:

        HAHAAHA! Tenia que buscar el definicion de bragas!!! Wow…lmao! Si el zapato se queda, usalo! lmaooo

  14. Lidia-Anain says:

    I’ve been with a few on this list. My personal favorite from this list is the man with dreads. Cause hey, I might want to pull some hair too.

    I really liked the post but I gotta say the comments around here are just as awesome. I was giggling at most of them…especially the e-panties one.

    1. max says:

      Welcome! You picked a good day to come by…we usually only get rowdy like this on Fridays.

  15. Bloggers are hot in the streets? Interesting…

    1. max says:

      Oooh yes. I have more than one reader that would be interested in giving up her panties to you. Just FYI.

      1. emti says:

        um hi hello *waves e-panties in the air*

      2. keisha brown says:

        no comment… lol…

  16. funms says:

    number one on my list….a fireman!
    I’ve been with the busy dude, i am not sure it’s worth it but then again, if the sex is really great, then it’s worth it so yea, it was worth it

  17. Sam Sharpe says:

    Where have I been? How could I have missed this post?

    Just an FYI maxie, but with the exception of #5 I check every box…well at least I used to until I cut my dreads. For the record they were well maintained (not too well maintained so I looked like one of those cats from Milli Vanilli or some lame dude with extensions) and shoulder length…..

    ….if I wasn’t so busy I’d be calling you right now to set up a time so that I could pull your hair and smack that…..

    anyway, really can’t believe I missed this post…..

    1. max says:

      All day yesterday I was like I cannot believe Sam Sharpe has not come in here to taunt me about how he checks all the boxes on my list!

  18. Lady B says:

    Did someone say trip? Is that to meet and explore the men on the list? Sign up sheet is located where exactly?

  19. Nice list…I’m pretty much 1-4 on this list. The reason I’m not all 5 is because we’ve never dated. So…technically, if you slept with me, you could knock off this whole list in one (or many) fell swoops.

    I want to have sex with a real hoodrat. Not the hoodrat chicks with college degrees, I mean the super fine hoodrat that pops gum loudly, cusses in the welfare line and carries a razor blade in her mouth. Something about all that attitude leads me to believe that would be the best sex a nigga ever had in his life. I’m not going…b/c I don’t want to deal with the consequences, but it’s nice to think about.

    White woman. I’m just curious to see how they are in bed. I’ve never slept with one…and as far as I can say, I probably never will since I’m not all that attracted to them. I would like to test one out though. Yeah…that didn’t sound right but whatever.

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