Please Stop Believing You Deserve Props Just For Trying
2010
My buddy Lincoln Anthony Blades is back with another guest post. Read and take notes then check him out at www.thisisyourconscience.com.
On many occasions I have been forced to remind people of one simple fact: When it comes to getting it in, you DON’T deserve a gold star just for TRYING – as grown-ass people, if you ain’t giving me the full-hundred, don’t waste my time by giving it up half-assed (pun-intended).
And I want to make it VERY clear that this is not a rant based at just one particular sex, because men and women alike both have the ability to turn a potentially squirt-tastic time into sex dryer than Devo Brown’s jokes.
Ladies, men ain’t giving you props JUST for sucking richard nowadays – it’s time to EXCEL.
- I don’t want cold, chapped lips scarring my sensitive foreskin-tissue with your abrasive-ass. INSTEAD..
..Please tease it with your tongue and gently flick the head firmly with your soft tongue and make it jump just by the touch of your breath. Tongue-kiss my richard deep and passionately and take it all the way in your mouth and slowly let it out and make sure it’s wet as hell. THEN you can put your moisturized hands on it and slowly massage it with both hands (nothing WORST than dry hands on an erection – keep your sandpaper palms to yourself please and thank you). Don’t bore me with sucking it the same way either, sometimes you gotta lick the entire shaft and when you get to the bottom, please don’t neglect the balls (PLEASE). Spit or Swallow is up to you just as long as you beg me for it and tell me where you want it and how much you NEED to taste it.
Ladies, men ain’t just gonna give you PROPS, JUST if your nani is tight and wet nowadays – it’s time to DOMINATE.
- I don’t want a girl laying on the bed like a chalk outline in CSI: Miami. Instead..
..Get on top and control my richard and let every inch slide in and out of you and hit you deep in every wall with firm and controlled waist-whining. Let me pick you up and while I knock it down standing up, grab me tight around the neck with both arms and throw your pussy back on me until it gets so good we have to lie back down before I drop you faster than Jay-Z dropped Rell. Even when I’m beating it down in missionary, grip my shoulders and kiss me on collar bone and tell me how deep it’s in – there’s no time to be quiet now – I wanna hear you TELL ME how hard you’re coming.
And Dudes, don’t think you don’t need to step up YOUR games. Men, Ladies aren’t giving you a golf-clap for giving head anymore – either be PROFICIENT or don’t even waste her time.
- She doesn’t want a guy with Tiger Woods teeth giving her a hysterectomy. Instead..
She wants someone who’s firm but not in a hurry, who can make her anticipate the initial touch of your tongue because you started at her collar bone, traced your tongue over her breasts, down her stomach, from hip-to-hip and finally, when she’s aching, you give her a long slow lick up-and-down, just barely touching her clit while she starts to drip like Project faucets…Or so I hear since ‘Real Rudebwoy’s Nuh-Inna Dem Tings Deh.’ (The stance all Black Males of West Indian Heritage must publicly take).
And when it comes to putting it in, take your time and make her feel every inch right down to her cervix and make sure you don’t just try to jackrabbit the nani to death, but stroke it hard and slow to start and let her savour the richard, but more importantly stroke it firm and steady because you want to find that spot – the spot that will make a tsunami all over the bed sheets if you hit just right, enough times – she will let you know when you hit it and you need to use all the muscle memory in your body to not only remember where it is, but formulate a plan of attack on how you are going to beat the brakes off her nani by killing that spot. Ladies want you to listen – not just to what she’s saying – but the non-verbal communication that her nani moans to you when you get it just right.
In the end, the best sex always seems to be the sex where both parties (or three, four, etc.) are all intensely focused on not just getting their own nut, but making sure they help DELIVER great nuts too – and that can only occur when you stop begrudgingly performing sex acts, and just MAN-UP/WOMAN-UP and put some damn elbow grease in it.
This Is Your Conscience
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I love max-logic! The joints on point. For the grown/mature and sexy. I always seem to relate. Now it’s time I go make a leg shake. Thanks Max and Lincoln.
iDied at “make a leg shake”.
Dear Lincoln:
hello..hi..how are you doing?
LOL
Dear emti:
I’m great…how YOU doin? *smirks*
fantastic…just here fanning myself
Can I interest you in a Bill Clinton brand cigar?
Bill only watched I’m going to need some participation
or I might as well just paint my nails
Bill CLinton Brand Cigars are ONLY for participation…
Ask Monica Lewinsky…but NOT Hilary
well damn. good post. not much else to say…
Thanks Reecie
Yes please. Allathat. Can you just package that to go? Super. Thanks.
Can I super size that for you?
*Corny-Boy Swag*
Lord, yes, please! Super sized, huh? *raises eyebrow*
Lincoln turned it up today!!
Happy Friday indeed lol…
Thanks fam…If one woman somewhere in the world gets mind blowing sex tonight because his girl comes home charged from reading this I will consider this my contribution to mankind fulfilled – take THAT Sean Penn
Hilarious!
you def spoke real rap though! Dudes who are selfish and dont aim to please dilute our product!
Lawd have mercy!! Now this is a great post!! I can’t even typ write!!
LOLOLOL
I Hope All You Ladies Have A Human Release For This Pent Up Sexual Tension…Sybians Cant Fix You A Sammich
I have read this post 5 times. F-I-V-E times. Something is wrong with me.
There will be much nail-painting going on tonight behind this post.
I know right? That amongst some other things…;-)
*Let’s Imagination Wander*
‘Nail-Painting?’ Anyone care to catch me up on the Max Fab glossary of sexual innuendo..or am I reading too hard into your actual nail painting??
nail painting is a max-ism (well technically it’s a suki-ism but whatevs) for rubbing one out.
I gots the good cranal nail painting going on now. Braingasmed, thank youu *Dora voice*
Question:
What do women think/fantasize about when painting your nails?
Also, I heard women are more imaginative then men are visual, so can y’all steady an Eric Jerome Dickey novel in one hand and an Industrial sized vibrator in the next?
I think about the last dude that did his job well and basically what you wrote above …and yeah, balance ain’t no thing – Laptop to the right
on literotica dot comand start checkin the yellow pages #letyourfingersdothewalkin.call me a dude but i’ll take visual over imagination any day
word to pornhub.com
If I’m in a bad place emotionally and just need a physical release I’ll use p0rn (xhamster.com) but most times, I’m all the way turned on already because of a Him…and then all I need is a little mental reminder of something He did as motivation. TI.
I have no problem with p0rn, but it’s a different type of release for me. More one dimensionally physical. Even watching p0rn, I tend to replace the actors with Him and me in my head. *shrug* #monogamoustoafault
No books. Maybe a few seconds of visual um.. goodness. Then it’s all in the mind of what and who I’d want to go swimming in the lady flower. The love below, some non iPhone Facetime
I read an EJD book once while I was away at a conference.#don’tjudgeme
I missed all kinda meetings that week. Don’t under estimate the power of a good book Suki!
was it Pleasure? cuz that one has some good stuff in it. *head nod*
Yes!!!! Reecie, how the hell did you know? The twins ( I think they were from Trini right?) is what did me in! LAWD!
because i’ve been there, my friend. thats how I knew
We’re >>>here<<< with the literary cunnilingus
and the hair pulling.Star, girl you alright with me!
Hey as long as I brought some ‘nail-painting’ to the world on a cold October day, then I have gone above and beyond Max’s call of duty
Its not cold here in Cali Lincoln. Its like 80 degrees and in my office it is even hotter….lol.
I’ll bet there’s some nail painting going on in some office bathrooms right now
I thought I was the only one…#relieved
Girl I stay rubbing it out in my office bathroom. I’ll even get it in at my desk in a pinch.MY girl! *applause*
Another Question: Do women taste themselves like in pron movies or do I need to log off homegrownfreaks.net?
I know I do.Duly Noted.
Every good chef knows…
http://www.hulu.com/watch/106001/top-chef-did-you-taste-your-food
I would leave my comment at that but you know I won’t. Thanks for this post
and for reassuring nothing is wrong with Penelope and I.Don’t neglect the nips either… Of the guy or girl.
Sucking a man’s nipple is an extremely touchy subject..
As good as it feels, there is a momentary tinge of an assault on my masculinity…I know I should be over that in 2010 but men still don’t AND won’t admit to their boys that a girl sucked his titties really well…You feel like your boy may look you dead in the eyes and say some shit like:
Him – “Oh…..so, so did you get real wet when she fingered you too?”
Me – “NIGGA , DON’T JUDGE ME!”
This is how I feel about men’s nipples too…it’s like I get that it’s the modern world and all that and it’s perfectly normal for a man to want me to dither his nipples but there’s a little tiny part of me that’s like….really? that’s what you want?
I just hope you never refer to your teats as titties. Lol i think you just ripped the masculinity out of a few men.
don’t worry.
I won’ta lot of women don’t biteAgreed, I’ll suck them happily, but not if you ask me to “lick your titties” o_0 baby I have titties, you have pecs. You and I can suck my titties, but only I can lick your pecs. That’s just how it is.
“You and I can suck my titties”
#iseewhatyoudidthere
Wellll, you paint your nails enough times, you “explore other options” ya know what I’m saying…#variety
New Rule: (though it’s not my site) Solo Breast-Sucking Can NOT Be Brought Up On This Site Without Visual Evidence. Please forward pictures to my email for Quality Assurance.
LMFAO *dead* @ this whole thing. (refer to post on sending pics via technology)
between not knowing about nail painting and not knowing about not sending your lady parts through the mail…mr. blades needs to get caught up on all things maxfab
Wait, did Max badmouth sexting nani and breastesses pics??? blasphemy!
I okay’d it in certain circumstances…not for every tom dick and harry that’s all.
Lol tehehe titties
WTF was goin on in this post?!!!!
LOL chest stimulation for a man is incredible. If a man ever tells a woman to “lick his titties”, that dude is a carpenter who specializes in closets
“that dude is a carpenter who specializes in closets”
Of all the comments that killed me today (Starita I’m looking at you) this one finished me off.
DEAD! Can I die anymore today?
You know it’s true though…the only negroes who request their “titties to be licked” probably ask that shortly after informing you to “hide you kids, hide your wife and hide your husbands”
LMAO
Exactly…and you definitely aren’t allowed to moan when she does it either…you are only allowed a slight smirk or small toothless grin.
I loooove to make him moan #lifegoal.
but I’ll admit when he screamed like a little girl when I doing something that I will not mention online (not nipple lickin), I was super flattered momentarily and then started questioning his manhood…#ulikinthisaliltoomuchplaya #Ishoudn’tjudgebutIdidItalian, Balsalmic or French dressing needed?
maaaaaaaaaybe…
I will take that as a yes!
*DEAD*
that dude is a carpenter who specializes in closets”
So.
Far
Gone.
*word to Drizzy.
Mmmm…wwoooowww….yeah. Legs crossed and allthat. Yeah…need some of that in my life like yesterday.
“she will let you know when you hit it and you need to use all the muscle memory in your body to not only remember where it is, but formulate a plan of attack on how you are going to beat the brakes off her nani by killing that spot”
REALLY though…yessss…I can’t do any more work for the rest of my day. Thanks for an amazing start to my weekend.:)
DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!
I come back from lunch to read about:
Nipple licking, nail painting, p0rn!
Why didn’t anyone mention hair pulling?LAWD, I can’t take it!
I need a Swiffer, STAT!,Hair pulling would have just finished us all off today. That shit gives life!
LAZARUS!!
3ways has eff em fridays so i guess here its fcuk me fridays?!
lmao
Just Fridays?You say that like it’s a bad thing…iCan’t! The thoughts, Max…the thoughts!
Why are my thighs tingling?What do you guys think? Should we rename nasty Fridays “fcuk Fridays?”
You could call it Freemason’s Friday and it’d still get poppin if you wrote some ish like Lincoln did today.
Horny is as horny does.
It does have a better ring to it. Its so naughty though…I don’t want my job blocking your sight, I really would die.
What about “Finger-Walkin’ Fridays?”
Y’all need Jesus.
What the Eff I miss today?
BP can’t take her hand out her pants
Starita is tossing salads for free
and Max… well Max is just being regular old horny Max.
Now you guys got me looking up this Pleasure book, which I can’t find the torrent for.. trying to see what so damn freaky about these twins.
Eff you, wasn’t sh!t “free”I was wondering where your freaky @ss was at all day myself…
And who’s this Hey-suse you speak of? He in Kansas City? Let me get you my number…
GUYS AND GALS! QUIT!! Lmfaoooooooooo
True Life: I’m a kinda Blogger and commentator that
gets off and does my nails from freaky posts like thislikes to read interesting posts nshit.You think I didn’t just get out the shower fresh from a “session” thanking Max and Lincoln for their inspiration? ‘Preciate ya
Have a happy Halloween ya’ll. *glowing and more relaxed than RCLS after a trip to Hawai’i*
Oh and EJD is amazing. I read all the books and I mean ALL. Pleasure was amazing. And so were all them other ones. I think I just gasm’d.
you going to tell me what is so damn freaky in it? and what is the big surprise between the twin and his wife?
Nah son. Lol you gotta read it
More word to Drizzy: I’ll thank y’all later.
ps: Max..i found my sample! FINALLY. i think this post was perfect inspiration…
if i had read this Friday, it would have been a serious problem for me…
but reading it today…i just…LAWD…
this whole post…*standing ovation*
i’m gonna go…take a shower now…yeah….somethin like that…;)