While you’re reading this I’m freakng the fuck out. As many of you know, today I leave on my very first grown up vacation. For the first time ever I picked a place I wanted to go, booked a ticket, and paid for it myself kinda. Unlike every other non-business trip I’ve ever taken, I [...]
While you’re reading this I’m freakng the fuck out.
As many of you know, today I leave on my very first grown up vacation. For the first time ever I picked a place I wanted to go, booked a ticket, and paid for it myself kinda. Unlike every other non-business trip I’ve ever taken, I have no family functions to attend while I’m there and neither my parents nor my sister are travelling with me so I am free to be as slack as I want to and no one will be the wiser .
I’m sure many of you are wondering how it’s possible that at age 35 I’ve never been on a grown up vacation. There are many reasons for this; one is that I love shoes and books more than travelling and that is where most of my money goes. Another is that I don’t like being too far away from the things I love like Timothy’s and Fresh & Wild. But mainly it’s because I am scared to death of flying. I hate being in planes and the last time I had to fly somewhere my little sister had to spend the entire 5-hour flight trying to keep me calm enough that I could contain myself by clutching the armrests rather than screaming my fucking head off, which is what I wanted to do.
I’m not going to get into the reasons why I’m afraid of flying as they are as complex and bizarre as I am, but suffice it to say it has nothing to do with thinking the plane is going to crash or not understanding aeronautics or anything like that. It’s basically completely irrational and therefore cannot really be dealt with in any logical way.
All the same, tomorrow I’m going to voluntarily get on a plane alone, something I haven’t done since I was about 24. I’m scared shitless and to be honest if it wasn’t for the happy pills I recently acquired (from my doctor don’t worry) I probably would have found an excuse to back out of the trip. That’s how much I hate flying. My stomach is clenching in fear just writing this post. But I am assured that these little pharmaceutical gems will ease the anxiety and allow me to get through the flight without frantically clutching my sister’s hand and counting backward from one hundred one hundred times. In the past I have always eschewed drugs as a way to cope with anxiety, preferring deep breathing and visualization tactics which basically don’t do shit all 99% of the time but this time we’re going for the big guns. Let’s hope I don’t end up an addict.
But as scared as I am, there is a little teeny tiny part of me that is proud of myself for sucking it up and getting over my bullshit in the name of doing something I really want to do. It’s very un-Max and I can really only attribute it to all the involuntary changing I’ve been doing lately. The old max did not subscribe to the “feel the fear and do it anyway” school of brainwashing thought, she was much more of a “feel the fear and run screaming in the opposite direction” kinda girl.
Whether this change is a good thing or a bad thing remains to be seen.
But what about you guys? Any silly or irrational fears that stop you from doing things you really want to do? Do you like drugs to deal with your fear or do you prefer to soldier it out? Share you stories of silly behaviour so I feel better about myself.
Oh and fret not – there will still be posts while I’m away. I had originally planned to have “Man Week” while I was gone and feature a guest post from a different male contributor every day but that plan did not work out because not one of the flopshow males I asked to contribute a post actually sent it to me. Assholes so it will be a mishmash of me and a few guest appearances. Make sure you read and comment so that I don’t feel like I wasted my time blogging while on vacation.
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im happy/sad/jealous/mad/proud of ya!!
have a great time!!!! i expect to hear 23% of the fun and foolery!
ps: no fear is rooted in anything logical. so trying to explain it makes no sense. it is what it is. but you can either succumb (which you HAD been) or overcome (which you WILL do).
great big hugs and holla when you get back!! we’ll grab some tim’s!
I would’ve never guessed that you were scared to fly! When I arrive tomorrow you are getting an extra long hug and I owe you a bagel. Thanks for loving us enough to hop on a plane and I promise you’ll have a great time
Have a safe trip and stop being such a punk Max!
jk jk… punk lol
#1 @ em or dap em re: men who didnt giive guest posts, lolololol
#2 My fear of flying disspates with every flight I take. I just breathe and calm down and do other shyt to take my mind off of it. Its funny the last flight I had, I had mad turbulence and the lady in my row was FREAKIN!
I just acted like I didnt see it spoke to her a couple of times and kept pushin. lol…
You’ll be aite though, but don’t be a slave to those pills!
I was flying back from Texas, right over Louisiana my plane dropped.. all the lights went out and the plane LITERALLY dropped.. I figured that in the sky is the wrong place for my plane to lose power..
I was NOT happy… even though I want to be adventurous.. i don’t want it like that!
so fucking proud of you
not only are you getting on a plane but you’re taking drugs…you know this makes me swell with pride lol
love ya…have a fabulous time
It seems crazy for me to comment considering I’m getting you in 2 hours.. but I really am proud of you.. Oddly enough, when you called this morning, I knew what you were going through.. Although the money I pay for the ticket usually overcomes my fear.. My brain did pause 2x when you mentioned getting off the plane..
I don’t like pills.. I don’t take pills.. If it was made in a factory with names I can’t pronounce, I usually look twice in it’s direction.. My taking pills involves crushing them, condensed milk, applesauce and/or some prayer.. yes, it’s THAT deep..
I am proud of you though.. and you just need to get past this one, and think of all the travelling opportunities that will be open to us..
Love you babes.. and I’ll see you when you get here..
Enjoy your vaca max! Bring back some sun!
Of course I am proud of you.
I am glad that you had a good trip.
My fears all revolve around embarrassment. I fear that people are laughing behind me back at me.
For some strange reason the only thing i’m really scared of for no reason is sharp objects. Planes, heights, animals, water, etc. none of that scares me. But an Xacto knife will cause me to hyperventilate.
YAY for overcoming fears! I may be biased since I’m gonna get to see you soon, but I’m super proud of you for doing it! I’m not terribly afraid of flying, but it’s certainly not my favorite. I’m the type to look cool on the outside while freakin the eff out on the inside if it’s ANYthing but smooth sailing. In fact, my FIRST plane trip was a hot mess. It was canceled due to rainy weather and then when we finally got on, there was a bit of turbulence. The plane ride back was great though!
See you soon! #FantasticOfTen
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement.
Because I always tell you the truth, I will tell you it was a shitshow that involved me crying hysterically, strangers intervening, and my sister and NicknotNikki talking me off the ledge. But I’m here and I’m still alive and I don’t have to fly again for six more days!
Enjoy your trip and bring back some sun !
Since you said it’s your 1st grown up vacation, I understand there are more to come… congrats !
I can relate to that fear of flying. 1/5 time the plane crew is looking for a doctor. I am soooo scared sometimes that I can’t breath properly or talk, my eyes roll on the back of my head and I am crying, shaking….A MESS… I know 1 airline has my name in its list of passengers who are afraid of flying… Pills don’t work with me, I loose sleep 2 days before the flight.
The funny thing is I love traveling. Once it is over, it’s as if nothing happened on the plane, I think my feet need to be on the ground.
I was afraid of the ocean, I took windsurf classes to deal with the fear.
I hate snakes, I can pass out if I see a snake on tv…it happened once… there is nothing I can or want to do about it.I can eat almost everything however I will never ever eat snake.
Aww. Good for you for going through with it. I hope everything ended up being worth it.
I’m kind of a punk and hate flying as well. When I was seeing someone in the States, I opted to ride the train for 12 hrs instead of hopping on a plane for 2.5. Got fed up eventually and sucked it up, though. It’s funny, because I flew often in my younger years. I kinda felt safe because the fam was always with me (I mean..God loves them, my mom especially. He wouldn’t take ‘em down just to get at me…would he? Naaaah.). I was still generally nervous, though. The thought of flying solo had me feeling like I was about to pay for every sin I’d ever committed. (Tell my momma I love her..sniff).