Everywhere we go in life there are lines. Invisible lines that designate the zone of acceptable behaviour in any given situation. Sometimes the lines are explained explicitly to you, other times you’re expected to intuitively know where they are. Sometimes the lines move around fluidly. But always, always there are lines that we must not [...]
Everywhere we go in life there are lines. Invisible lines that designate the zone of acceptable behaviour in any given situation. Sometimes the lines are explained explicitly to you, other times you’re expected to intuitively know where they are. Sometimes the lines move around fluidly. But always, always there are lines that we must not cross.
There are many ways to cross a line. An inappropriate comment in mixed company, the drunken groping of an employee, or
my personal favourite sex with the wrong person. No matter the situation, crossing the line usually results in irreparable damage; especially when feelings are involved.
But does it always have to be that way? Once you accidentally
on purpose grab your co-worker’s nuts after one too many cocktails at your office Christmas party, is it really impossible to return to making small talk at the water cooler? Or if in a fit of anger you tell your bff about her parts in a rude and stink way, is that something you can’t return from? What if you find yourself getting too close to your boo’d up homeboy? Is it really too late to pull the reins in and return to a platonic friendship?
I think that popular wisdom dictates that once you cross a line you can’t uncross it. And that’s why we’re supposed to be careful and strategic about our actions; to ensure we don’t go too far. That’s what smart people do anyway. Reckless people such as myself act first and consider the consequences later. Which I think is not such a tragic thing since it taught me that it is possible to return to the safe side of the line.
How do you do that? I’m glad you asked. By following my exclusive 5-step guide to uncrossing the line
1. Admitting it is the first step.
Everyone’s favorite excuse for their wrongdoings is “it just happened” but that’s bullshit. A pigeon releasing his droppings on your head just happens, bumping uglies with your bestie does not. So if you want your friendship to resume as if you’ve never seen each other’s privates, the first thing you need to do is admit that you probably made it happen.
2. Remove the triggers.
If you’re the jackass boss that got shitfaced and grabbed your employee’s arse, then I guess the first thing you need to do is stop getting drunk around your employees. That way when you promise that it will never happen again there’s at least a hope in hell that you’re telling the truth.
4. Accept the consequences.
If you slipped up in an argument and called your bff out her name, you can’t be surprised when she tells you about your parts too. That’s the natural consequence of going off on someone, they usually strike back. So take your lickings like a man and don’t try to act like the injured party because you started slinging mud and some hit you in the face.
5. Accept the fallout too.
If you got up close and personal with a man who has a woman, don’t be surprised when that woman hates your guts. She has a right to; and trying to plead your case and get her to understand your point of view just makes you a bigger asshole. Sometimes when we cross a line, we end up hated for it. That’s life. Deal with it.
3. Know when you’re beaten.
You can only uncross a line if someone lets you. If you steal from your best friend and she never asks you to hold her purse again then guess what? That line will never be uncrossed. And you can’t get mad about that…you’re the asshole who stole from your best friend, remember?
What do you guys think? If we go too far in a relationship can we really recover from it? Have you ever overstepped your bounds before? It’s not Friday but share a little with me in the comments.