Just the Way You Are
2010
My blogging buddy and birthday twin Tunde as graciously blessed us with a guest post today. Enjoy. I downloaded Bruno Mars’ album (I plan on buying it as well), Doo-Wops and Hooligans, last week and I’ve listened to it all the way through at least once a day since then (twice today). I love every [...]
My blogging buddy and birthday twin Tunde as graciously blessed us with a guest post today. Enjoy.
I downloaded Bruno Mars’ album (I plan on buying it as well), Doo-Wops and Hooligans, last week and I’ve listened to it all the way through at least once a day since then (twice today). I love every track on the album because of the wide variety of topics he covers. From drinking (as well as smoking) his problems away to eloping to being a good friend. Things that I can relate to. I don’t always want to listen what popular rap/r&b is talking about (mainly getting chicks, making money and flossing). One of the songs that stuck out to me is, Just the Way You Are.
We all deal with coming to terms with our flaws. It’s hard for us to see ourselves how the world views us. If you are anything like me then you are your own worst critic. What is better than finding someone who loves all the things that you dislike about yourself? You think that you could stand to lose a few pounds but he loves a woman who doesn’t look like Olive Oyl. You don’t think you’re as smart as your classmates but she thinks that you’re the smartest man that she knows. When someone genuinely feels like this about you, it really does a lot for your confidence.
“I could live two weeks on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain
Waking up in the morning and seeing you sleeping in your head wrap and wanting to kiss you even though you have morning breath is an account to how much I’m into you, not how much I dig head scarves. Sure I’m attracted to taller women but I love the height difference between us. It makes me feel like your protector. You see I may not be naturally attracted to all the things about you but I like them nonetheless because they comprise who you are as a person.
I know that this works both ways. I have plenty of imperfections that I’m glad people like about me. I’m a very prideful person. Yes I know it’s one of the deadly sins but I can’t help it. I drool in my sleep when I’m really tired. I’m slim. It’s in my genes. I’m not gaining any more weight. I’ve tried and accepted the fact that I’ll probably be this size forever. I’m tall. While I realize that the whole tall, dark and handsome thing is what a lot of woman say they want, I don’t know if they meant 6’6″ tall. I have “kinky” hair. Once again blame my Nigerian genes. See despite all these imperfections, I’m still accepted.
Having someone who sees you through rose colored lenses is a great thing. No one wants be with someone who doesn’t think the world of them but at the same time it’s refreshing to know that they assuredly think that you’re the best thing since sliced bread.
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Now “I’m your angel” by Celine dion and r. Kelly was playing as I read this & I cried… Inside. Max thnx for having Tree write this. Tree, great post. I agree. I wish to find that someone you described in this post. *sigh*
I climb trees. Fxck a six feet six.you can be my protector all you want! Lmao:) jkbut not really jk. I can’t wait to feel that way abt someone…again.. :-/Once again, great post. My heart is heaving now lol
“My heart is heaving now.”
man up nicca. j/k lol
Tunde, this is one of the best love songs I’ve heard in a while. I caught it once on the radio but didn’t know it was Bruno Mars so thank you.
I’m quite critical of my flaws and tend to use self-deprecating humor in an attempt to deal with them…my boyfriend is having none of that! He makes me feel like the smartest, sexiest, most capable and beautiful woman in the world. I know it’s not true but it’s a blessing that he believes it
Max, you have THE best guest posts…great job! (See how I snuck in a compliment for myself? I’m slicker than fish grease!)
“I’m quite critical of my flaws and tend to use self-deprecating humor in an attempt to deal with them.”
i know a lot of women who do this. “i need to get my fat a$$ up and go to the gym” or something similar. if someone else said that to you, you’d get mad and you don’t really believe what you’re saying. you’re fishing for compliments and reassurance. it’s cool, i’ll gladly supply both.
That doesn’t apply to me. I never say things about myself that aren’t true. If someone else said the same things to me I’d be hurt but it would be out of ego not because they were being dishonest.
I don’t fish for compliments but I know plenty of women that do.
Great post Tu! You made me feel all warm and sen-sa-tive inside
great post and great song.
Nice post Tunde! I really love this song…
I like how you said that the woman’s hair is wrapped up….especially after another post I read this morning. Anyways, I am an “all or nothing type of chick”. Loving only certain things about a person will only lead to the destruction of the relationship because I have learned that “butterflies and fireworks” fade. You have to learn to love the person entirely. So I can appreciate how you said ” I have plenty of imperfections that I’m glad people like about me”…. (6’6??…wow)….
Thanks Max and Tunde for bringing sunshine my way!
” Loving only certain things about a person will only lead to the destruction of the relationship because I have learned that “butterflies and fireworks” fade.”
you’re so right. for instance let’s say i got with this chick because i loved her breasts and i really didn’t like too much else about her physically. what would happen if her doctor suggested she got a breast reduction? all of sudden she doesn’t look so appealing to me. smh.
and yes 6’6″ lol
Great post Team! I’ve had that type of feeling for someone. It’s amazing how sometimes you just wanna lie in a woman’s hair in the morning and say fuck morning breath, I’on care cause I’m into you like THAT. They constantly complain about the same imperfections that you find so much joy in. No your weight is fine, and your breasts are NOT too big. But I’ve found that we all need some reassurance from time to time, so I just continue to let that person know my heart and try to a make her FEEL that I got her no matter what may come our way.
God is Love….
Pred
“They constantly complain about the same imperfections that you find so much joy in.”
funny thing is that the word imperfection includes the word “perfect”.
Nice post, Tunde! And I love this song. I need to download Bruno as soon as I get home. Or I could just purchase it… maybe. lol.
buy it. trust me. it’s worth it. even though it’s only 11 tracks, all 11 tracks go.
I heard the song for the first time last week and absolutely loved the message. Funny thing is, a lot of people want to be loved just the way they are, but stay trying to change the person they’re with. I know I’ve definitely done that in other r/ships, but with age, comes wisdom
#nomore
Great post, Tunes!!
“I’ve definitely done that in other r/ships, but with age, comes wisdom”
me too mimi, me too. never again.
I was once talking to this one dude that was, for the lack of a better word, enamoured with me. And while I didn’t feel the same (I tried to tho), it’s very humbling to have someone who thinks you’re the best thing in the world.
On the flipside, there have been times when I thought the world of someone else who kept questioning why I thought so highly them. The fact is, you see yourself differently than how others see you,so if someone is telling you you’re great, just believe them and stop trying to convince them that you’re not.
i’ve been with people who had an extremely hard time taking compliments. i just don’t understand what’s so hard about saying “thank you” and smiling. i don’t have an ulterior motive. i’m just telling you how i feel. what’s so wrong with that?
#NoCountryFor Head Scarfs!!
*ducks*
lol
Good post TUNE
Love this Tunde…
It is nothing like having someone love the things that you dislike for yourself..
Definitely put a little sunshine in my day…
Good post as always…
… About Bruno Mars… I mos def have to look into him… ha ha might be an upcoming post…
Thanks ! I love the song. I didn’t even know the singer.
It gave me something to smile about today. Then I thought about it and ”spleen” is the only word I can think about to describe how I felt. I love some songs and poems because that’s the only way I can ”find” the ideal love that I don’t expect to find in the real life.
Little attentions can make us feel so good, however finding someone who like us the way we are is laborious.
”I have “kinky” hair. Once again blame my Nigerian genes.” Why is your hair listed as an imperfection ? I will google ”kinky” later.
a lot of women might view rough hair as an imperfection because if we were to have children they might not want their/our children (mainly little girls) to have these traits passed down.
i. loved. this. post.
that is all.
“Waking up in the morning and seeing you sleeping in your head wrap and wanting to kiss you even though you have morning breath is an account to how much I’m into you, not how much I dig head scarves. Sure I’m attracted to taller women but I love the height difference between us. It makes me feel like your protector. You see I may not be naturally attracted to all the things about you but I like them nonetheless because they comprise who you are as a person” Man I so dig this!
I always say, I am NOT perfect, I can only strive to come close..and I don’t HAVE to be perfect… you just have to believe I’m perfectly suited for you and vice versa…
I absolutely LOVE this song. I actually ran across it by accident… but you know what they say… some of the best things to come about come by accident..and this has been one of them..
Great Post Tunde!
I like you just for the simple fact that you like (my baby) Bruno Mars.
From one nappy headed Naija to another: Good post. There are few things more pleasurable than finding someone who accepts and loves us just as we are. It always makes me smile when I point out a flaw of mine (physical or otherwise) and a significant other just blinks at me with either a blank or confused look.
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