In the wonderful world of advertising, it's not uncommon to read a brief that includes a section called "reason to believe".
Like its title suggests, this section contains a piece of insight or spin that will make the consumer fall for the advertiser’s #swindle want to buy the product despite their reservations. For example, say a company is trying to get moms on a budget to buy their uber-expensive all-natural household cleaner. The reason to believe would be something like “using natural cleaning products will ensure my kids have a better future”. Then all the advertiser has to do is make sure that their campaign plants that thought in the heads of these poor unsuspecting moms and next thing you know they’re convincing themselves that they have to have this product.
If you’re blank-staring me right now wondering why I’m giving you Advertising 101 today, fret not. The “reason to believe” has relevance to the world of dating and relationships as well. For a single gal, the reason to believe is a powerful tool in your arsenal if you use it in the right set of circumstances.
Say you have your eye on a dude who also has his eye on you. But nothing has happened between you because said dude has determined that you are undateable based one some random and/or criteria…
Wait – before I go on let me just stress this point again. It has to be a random, unimportant, or arbitrary reason, not something earth-shattering and unalterable. Think something along the lines of you know too many of the same people or you once dated a dude he went to grade school with, not something like you have kids or you smashed the homies. Oh and he has to be at least a little bit interested. This won’t work if he’s not.
Get it? Okay let’s continue.
Okay so you and this dude are circling each other like dogs in heat but he’s not making moves. He’s probably flirting with you but retreating if you flirt back too heavily. This is because he wants to go there with you but his “better judgement” is making him hesitate.
See the thing about most men is this: whereas most women will choose a man based on the qualities he has regardless of the way he makes her feel, most men choose their woman because of how she makes him feel, regardless of the undesirable qualities she possesses. This is the phenomenon that allowed Flipper to get with Angie or the great guy to get with the regular chick. So if you’re in a situation where a man is holding back from you because of something silly, all you have to do is give him a reason to believe.
Now before you all go in on me accusing me of advocating a #swindle let me stop you. I’m not suggesting that you deceive this man in order to make him get with you. That’s what silly little girls do. Nor am I suggesting that you chase him because you know I don’t believe in that shit. All I’m saying is that too many women will just throw their hands up in frustration if the object of their affection isn’t falling at their feet. This is because women want life to be like a movie. Sometimes ladies you have to put in a little work and in this case the work comes in the form of giving him a reason to believe.
Now how you go about giving him the reason to believe depends a little bit on the man and the situation, but it basically boils down to nothing more than just making him see how fabulous you are. So maybe you have to engage him in conversation instead of waiting for him to hit you up. Or maybe you have to put yourself in his path to get his attention. Maybe you have to gas his head up a little bit so he feels good when he’s around you. You just have to let him get to know you well enough for him to be more consumed by you than he is by his reason for running from you.
A wise man recently told me “a man can convince himself of anything when it comes to women. ANYTHING.” So if you make a compelling enough case, this same man who was convincing himself that he needs to stay away from you will turn right around and convince himself that he has to have you. And there you go.
This has totally worked for me in the past, but what do you guys think? Have you ever had to give a man a little nudge to make him get over himself? Was it worth the effort? Men do you think this would work on you? You guys have been so quiet lately – speak up!
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I’m never quiet. I will be soon enough! O_o
But it sucks that
Imy friend is in this situation. The Chase. Now personally, I don’t believe in it either. Until she started going through it. Chasing homie who’s somewhat interested and she’s somewhat interested. But their circles get smaller everyday and now that you look at it, these circles are now dots. He think’s it’s her “G” and now, she’s doing more than she has to just to convince homie otherwise. Frustrating. And she’s already thrown her hands in the air in frustration. Giving up. But she’s never been interested in a guy like this for *counts on fingers* years. So yeah… =/ poor kid right?Ahh I hate speaking in 3rd person..
I never thought about it this way..
I’m not gonna lie though, it seems like a lot more work than I’m willing to give. And you know how I feel about making my personal life more work than it has to be.
Maybe if I came across one that was worth the extra work..
(Yeah I said it..)
No no ladies it’s not about putting in extra work. It’s just about creating/taking advantage of opportunities to show the dude how wonderful you are. When you’re in this situation the dude is only ruling you out because he doesn’t know you well enough…so before you throw him back give him a chance to get to know him and he’ll overcome his silly objections all on his own.
Frankly I’m not sure what I think on this one. I just like the fact that you worked a little Jungle Fever reference into it…
…Let me just say that I’m not sure this could work on me. I usually take a while to make a decision but once I’ve made it that’s a wrap. Ain’t no going back. I
I think women have been sold a dream. They tell you guys “just be yourself” and you will eventually find your man or, he will find you. This is ‘only partially true’ (did you catch that Max). To me it seems like many women are just totally unwilling to put any effort to being with their guy. Bottom line, be yourself, but be your best self. It’s like when you have a number of potential jobs on the table. They’ve all expressed a certain level of interest in you, and you’re interested in them. You don’t just sit back and wait for them to call. You put your best business suit on, go on an interview and put your best foot foward. You give them the best you have to offer. Same thing with men. So yes, allow yourself to be courted, but don’t just sit there and wait for something to happen.
I once went great lengths Max to make a man believe I was “worth his time” and at the end I found out he wasn’t worth mine. Womp.womp.
c/s
I suppose that’s the tricky part…figuring out who’s worth it and who isn’t.
I hear you LaBakir. It is even trickier to do it *before* your heart is broken into pieces.
I really like ur pic Booty Pleasures
YES!!!! That’s the worse…you look up and MONTHS have gone by! I can’t!
And yes, as Suki said…your pic is pretty darn fly chica
FYI: I’ve started a collection can that reads “Get LaBakir to Cali” :p
Awww, thank you Sukez and LaBakir. *e-blush*.
@Labakir, you win some you lose some right? Cali fund, really? Yummtumbout!!!! You should come in the spring/beginning of summer…we would have too much fun!
Okay, so it sounds like I need to make this happen for my birthday (May 6th)
you.are.fucking.brilliant
but you already knew that
This is basically putting your best foot fwd and its exactly what I expect and have no problem doing the same. A lot of women go aroun talkin bout Chivalry is Dead, when he’s really just in a semi-comatose slumber and needs a little carrot dangled nearby to remind him why he should open that door, or lean in for that kiss. Court others the way you want to be courted. That’s my 5sense
30 something advertising executive find success in her career while struggling in her love life, she learns to apply the same rules to advertising to men and wild hi-jinks insue. Insert really good looking guy, wacking family, and a plot twist and I think we have the next Katherine Heigl movie.
Max… get started on this script asap!
You know what? You guys might be on to something there!
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