When What You Do in the Dark is Seen in the Light
If you asked 100 people who know me in real life to list the things I cannot do, at least 90 of them would say count keep a secret. I am known far and wide for this. It’s actually not true though; I am more than capable of keeping a secret if I want to, [...]
If you asked 100 people who know me in real life to list the things I cannot do, at least 90 of them would say
count keep a secret. I am known far and wide for this. It’s actually not true though; I am more than capable of keeping a secret if I want to, it’s just that 99% of the time I don’t want to. When it’s a secret of my own that is. I can keep a secret for someone else without a problem but my own secrets…not so much.
When it comes to my own life, I just don’t believe in secrets. Anything that I’ve ever really wanted to keep to myself has been something I’ve been embarassed by…other than that I can’t see any reason to hide anything. And because I’m not one to keep my business under wraps, I learned a long time ago to make sure that I’m 100% comfortable with the choices I make. Before I do anything I have to know that I can withstand whatever public scrutiny my actions might have to endure.
For the most part I’ve been successful with this. I actually find it a pretty good moral compass when my hormones start to cloud my judgement. So before I find myself about to have inappropriate chex, steal something, lie about something, or do anything morally questionable I ask myself how I would feel if the whole entire world knew I was doing it. If I’m not okay with that prospect I just don’t do it.
One thing I’ve learned as I’ve aged is that for many people, our moral code is dictated by what we think people know about us rather than what we have done. It’s the reason that people who stay doing secret shit are quick to call other people out for doing the same thing. As a wise man recently told me “people think they’re slick but everybody talks and everybody listens”.
A few days ago I was talking to a friend of mine about sex (do I ever talk to my friends about anything else?) and he asked me if I’d ever done _____. I said no I’d never done ____ and although I would really like to do _____ I will probably have to skip it because I’m told that a man will think twice about marrying a woman who has done _____ (if you’re a devoted reader you will know what I’m talking about). So just in case I ever do want to marry some day, I’m gonna have to skip _____ . This logic didn’t compute to him at all…he was just like “why can’t you just do ____ and just never tell your potential future husband that you did ____?”
This way of thinking seems to be really common. It seems that any time anyone is trying to encourage me to do some dirt that I think is wrong or makes me uncomfortable, “just don’t tell anyone” is pulled out as if it’s some magical balm that soothes all moral dilemmas. Maybe this works for other people but I just can’t rock with it. If I do something foul and no one knows about it, did I not do anything foul? Not by my standards, but I guess that’s how it works for lots of other people. I guess most people are okay with what they do in the dark as long as it’s never been seen in the light but for me…I don’t like to turn the lights off.
What do you guys think though? When you’re about to do something do you stop to wonder what would happen if the whole world knew about it? Are you the type that thinks it’s all good as long as it’s a secret? Or are you the type to allow all your business in the streets because you don’t care what people think anyway? Speak on it in the comments.