I’m blessed to have (what I consider to be) a lot of friends. They may not all be of the ride-or-die, would pick me up at 3am in the middle of nowhere variety, but there are a lot of people out there whom I rock with and who rock with me. I do however, have [...]
I’m blessed to have (what I consider to be) a lot of friends. They may not all be of the ride-or-die, would pick me up at 3am in the middle of nowhere variety, but there are a lot of people out there whom I rock with and who rock with me. I do however, have a few friends that I would rather not have and who, if I wasn’t such a puss-puss, I would tell to take a flying leap somewhere. What kind of friends are those? I’m glad you asked…
2. The friend who always wants my advice…but never takes it.
I’m not the smartest person in the world by any stretch of the imagination, but I do give good advice. I’ve talked about this before: I think friends + advice is a recipe for disaster more times than not. But when a friend in need asks me for help I give it. And if they don’t listen and come back and ask me what to do because the situation has blown up in their face, I tell them. But if this happens repeatedly and you never learn that I am always right, I start to regret the day I met you.
3. The friend who shows no interest in my life.
This “friend” irks the shit out of me. Why do I know your crush’s middle name but you don’t know my sister’s first name? Why is it that if I tweet “I’m having a bad day” 50 people I’ve never laid eyes on will send me e-hugs but you won’t ask me what’s going on? Why am I getting the side-eye if I don’t listen to every minute, unimportant detail of your work day but you’re nodding off the minute I try to turn the conversation to me? Why? Why? Oh that’s right – because you’re a bad friend.
4. The friend who can’t open her mouth.
This is the friend who has a problem with you but doesn’t have the balls to tell you that so instead acts like an effing panty meat by making veiled comments and talking shit behind your back. Oh wait – this isn’t a friend at all, is it? Never mind.
5. The “I have a dream” friend.
These friends earn their name because they never miss a chance to make a speech. If I say “That dude Tyrone hit me up last night looking for p*ssy. As if!” she wants to give me a 2-hour long diatribe about how Tyrone ain’t sh*t and I’m better than that and I don’t need him in my life and blah blah blah. It’s the most self-indulgent thing ever because they really only want to hear themselves talk but they wrap it in a cloak of concern for me so that I feel bad to say “bish stop talking already!”.
6. The friend who always has to take it there.
Now I’m the first one to say that friends between opposite sexes always go wonky sooner or later but this friend…makes me tired. I don’t know if girls do this to men but this is the male friend who – no matter how many times you tell him he will never smell your ladyflower – never stops going in. Not in a joking, I just have to try kinda way but in a seedy, I might be a rapist in the right circumstances kinda way. It’s obnoxious. This person wouldn’t even hold friend status if it weren’t for the fact that 95% of the time he is cool, funny, helpful and smart. But damn, just fall out of love with me already!
What do you guys think? Any of you have annoying friends like this? What types of friends do you wish you didn’t have?
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Damn, I’m first!!! Great post and so true. I have had friends that talk about their problems constantly. They ask for advice but do their own thing anyway. As I get older the people I call friends is getting smaller and smaller. When I see the signs I know to leave them alone.
Aww man! *e-trips*
lol
I feel you on your “#1″
I’m not saying that you have to take my advice, but there’s only so many times that I will listen to someone come to me with the same problems. I’m on the phone like, “didn’t we fix this already, oh that’s right, you didn’t want to fix it. You jsut want to talk about it.” they forfeit the right to bring it up again.
I wish I didn’t have the insensitive friend..
she’s the one that will ask me to help her plan an immigration party to raise money…. for her other friend..
I’m the Queen of immigration issues and she thought it was okay to help me raise money for another chick.. then wonder why I tell her she’s insensitive.
Bish, consider your audience!
I wish I didn’t have the depressed friend.
This person sucks the lifeforce out of me, but I watch my words around her because she’s depressed. Something negative is always happening and I have to be the clown that makes everyone smile. I have my own issues. I can’t always “get it up” (||) for you. Create your own happiness!
I’m sure there’s more, but it’s late!
The perpetually depressed friend is the worst. They’re like not quite depressed enough to require professional help but just depressed enough to always need to talk to you about something… the worst!
My name is CHeeKZ Money,
and I am number 56
I meant 6
damn number system.
But that’s what we love about you Cheekz!
What she said ^^
“But if this happens repeatedly and you never learn that I am always right, I start to regret the day I met you.”
This is so totally Me. Don’t ask if you’re not going to listen to my infinite wisdom! Not saying I’m ALWAYS right, but it’s rare that I’m not, So I’m pretty much always right.
Gosh
Max, I’m gonna let you know now, whenever you list something in a post, I will be there to make a comment. And, you still won’t catch me with a “1…2…3.” kinda thing because NOW 1 doesn’t even exist!!
But my comment, I don’t like friend #2, 3, 5 and 6. 4 will never be a friend after day 1 of me discovering her shit talking ways. The friend that doesn’t take advice but asks for it? Ugh. I’d rather talk to a brick wall that was just painted and then watch it dry.
-Friends I wish I didn’t have? The boasters. Like “I’m gonna be such and such, going places so fxck y’all!” Always bringing up an accomplishments. I’m not giving out cookies so Ess Tea Eff You.
Kill that Noise.
-Friends that kill your shine/steal your moment. And for no reason. Can’t even back it up.
“Ooh! I found this new (insert any new item you’re sure no one has heard of/seen).”
“Oh, I saw that sh!t last month.”
“No the fxck you did not you blasphemous lying
c00n@sshole. This definitely came out on Monday morning 2am. It’s 3pm… still Monday boo boo”“Oh…well I could have sworn I did…anyway (goes on to talk about their day)”
“Nobody asked you…”
- Friends that put you down for no reason. Similar to friend above. Not really a friend and can morph from above mentioned friend to new enemy.
Kill. That. Noise.
That’s all for now.
Great post!
“-Friends that kill your shine/steal your moment. And for no reason. Can’t even back it up.
“Ooh! I found this new (insert any new item you’re sure no one has heard of/seen).”
“Oh, I saw that sh!t last month.”
“No the fxck you did not you blasphemous lying c00n @sshole. This definitely came out on Monday morning 2am. It’s 3pm… still Monday boo boo”
“Oh…well I could have sworn I did…anyway (goes on to talk about their day)”
“Nobody asked you…”
GUFFAWED!
I have to cosign. I hate the shine stealers. Its like let someone live.
A line from one of my fav poems sats
“It takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars”
Toast for people dont shine steal!
good list. of these #3 is the one I can relate to and hate the most. but this person is also no longer my friend, so problem solved.
oh and I’m used to #1. I give damn good advice but I don’t trip when folks dont’ take it. I get advice from GREAT people but at the end of the day I’m gonna do what I want to do so…I expect others to do the same.
I try not to trip anymore when people don’t listen to me and I usually succeed…but then I will say “I’m not giving you advice anymore” and they start tripping. I don’t get that…you don’t listen to it but I should waste my breath and brain power giving it?
I love this Max!
I had a #2s she was my bestie from high school and I had to let her go. She ended up with 3 children by 3 different fathers before the age of 28. *sigh*
My bothersome friends are the:
“I have a husband and a child so you should too” friend. Please stop always talking to me about how great marriage/motherhood is. I’m.not.READY.
“I sexed you and it was so good so now I am feening all the time” friend…wait sorry that’s not quite a friend…lol
“I sexed you and it was so good so now I am feening all the time” friend…wait sorry that’s not quite a friend…lol
Who would dare treat u like that?
I have some friends like that***raises hand**
***lowers head***
Look, once I have been with a women I see no pratical reason why I can’t continually be with her at our leasure. We have already seen each other n@ked. We are more familar with each other’s needs. And I already have been added to your number of partners, so I am not making you anymore of a un-wifeable whore by hitting again.
Its the perfect storm, some how my ex partners NEVER see it this way.
totally agree.
@ Max. You never fail to crack me up. Never.
@ dayl8 and CheeKz. I can not cosign to that. Ya’ll are trouble! Especially you dayl8…we are going to have to have a “talk” later.
My least favorite friends are the male friend who displays way… way too many female qualities. When the bunch of us are together bragging about, and making fun of past indiscretions, and snapping on each other as male will sometimes do when congregated, he’s the guy that always has to call you later like… “yo, did you really mean what you said, because it made me fell some kinda way… I know you were joking but…” Or, he’s the guy who after a fun night of drinking and revelry always wants to get emotional and tell the rest of the crew how much he loves us all and is so happy we’ve all been friends for so long. When he’s upset, instead of having an argument and then dapping it up later, as most males do, he gets quiet and you don’t hear from him for a few weeks. So annoying.
My other least favorite friend is the hater. This is the guy who tells the chick you’ve been stringing along and avoiding committing to, that she’s such a great person and should value herself more and find someone who will treat her right. When really, he just wants to smash but doesn’t know how. Or he’s the guy who has the really really bad acquaintance who happens to be interested in you, but he won’t put you on because he “knows how you are”, when really, he wants to be with her but doesn’t know how to get in the game. Basically – this guy is the Mike the Situation of the crew. If he can’t win – NOBODY wins.
Those are my 2 least favorite friends. Still love them though… but they suck sometimes.
Ladies, for the record, never trust a man who under the guise of friendship, tells you that you should “value yourself more” – 99% of the time he has ulterior motives and will turn into a # 6…
THIS
Most, that is the truth for I have been that person. Bamboozled into thinking he was looking out for me when in actuality he was trying to steal me from my dude.
I have a friend that threatened the fellas over a spades game.. two of them walked away because it was about to come to blows.. this dude then fell off for months. He comes down to visit, gets drunk then goes into the “you my best friend, man.. you’re gonna be in my wedding.. i love you..” i can’t deal with him..
soo unattractive..
Hmmm I’m feeling kinda dry right now that no one has ever pulled that move on me…
Good Post MAX
The friend I hate is the “Imma let you finish” friend, who feels like they have to top a statement you said with their own to drive home a point or puit their stamp on it… even if you didnt ASK!!
I also hate the friends who constantly put you in effd up situations, and expect you to always ride for them regardless. Whether its messing up your credit, always getting into fights, parking tix on your car, never repay money, thats taking advantage, NOT friendship!
Sounds like my shine steal biatcho “friend”
kinda sounds like that “friend” falls under the category of “liability” instead of “asset”.
great list maxie…i hate a #4…if you’re pissed at me tell me…i will definitely tell you
my least favourite friend is the “me too, but worse” friend
you’re telling them about something that happened but they always have to be worse off than you….uggggh
“i have nothing to eat”
“i don’t even have a plate”
I HATE this friend. Even more than you do
LOL
Emti that made me giggle. A lot.
sad thing is that’s a direct quote lol
I also hate the trainwreck friend. I have one that is always getting pissed drunk and falling asleep on the floor of the club, or starting fights and getting us kicked out of a party, or got too drunk and now she can’t drive herself home….it’s like dude you’ve been like this since you were 16 and we’re thirty-what now?? Get it together!
I had to dump (well in the midst of dumping) a trainwreck friend
there are only so many times i can rescue you before you have to rescue yourself
while i have all of the friends mentioned, and often times these friends irk my nerves, i do (strangely) appreciate having them all in my life lol. somehow, they all keep me balanced and help me realize how sane and sometimes insane i am. the world works itself out when i have friends who are so unlike me–they bring out the best and worst in me. and isnt that what friendships are all about? wait, im the only one praising the lunacy of my friends? ok, sorry…. *hangs head and walks away*
I have none of these friends except part of Streetz’ Eff’d Up Situations.
The only complaint I can have against my freinds (and to be fair they are working on it) is that they have a way of over using the ‘down for the cause’ motto and for no good reason turning group outings into personal events. Everyone is ready to go, but we are waiting on you to finish your BBM conversation that you could have in the car, which you are not driving but we are still waiting on you.
Than everyone is ready to leave, but we have to wait for you to holla @ every girl in the club and have the entirely long conversations that you could have ended 45 mins ago with the same result either way. My crew loves to overchat.
‘The friend who shows no interest in my life.’
I have had such friends and i kept making excuses for them and hoping that they always forgot to ask about my life cuz they had too much going on till i realised that some people are just selfish and self centered
Glad i know better now…If all you do is call me to bitch about your life and never even ask me how my day went? *delete*