An Ode to Balls

If penis is my one true love, balls are my eternal sidepiece. I really don’t know what it is about balls, but I effing love sucking them. They are just hours of entertainment…you can hold them, rub them, kiss them, suck them, lightly squeeze them, and if your man is acting up a swift kick to them will put him in his place a lot faster than an hour-long cussing.

My idea of a perfect Sunday involves a coffee by my side, a book in one hand, and the balls of a man who just put it on me in the other.

Thats if they’re good balls of course. Because there is such a thing as bad balls, and let me tell you there is nothing worse than bad balls. If you don’t know what bad balls are, look at this and this (very, very, NSFW).

I don’t know why no one ever extolls the sheer beauty that is a man’s balls, but let just say thank you men, from the bottom of my heart, for your nuts because balls…give life.

Oh and PSA of the day:
Ladies, if you are not sucking balls, you are failing at life.

What do you guys think? Ladies do you love balls like I do or are you sleeping on the wonderfulness? Is there another random male part you’re fixated on? Overshare in the comments Men…I don’t expect you to do much today but smile and say thank you and let me play with your balls.

Happy Nasty Friday everyone!

  1. lol @ this post. Is it me or did that guy have a vagina under his penis is the 2nd photo? And why did his peen look enflamed?

    Ummmm I can’t say I have a special love for balls. They’re just balls. They receive attention when I speak on the mic and that’s about it. I do like to put my hand in my boos underwear when we’re laying in bed though.

  2. I’m “ehh” about balls.. Like Satya, they get love when I’m “spittin on the mic” and that might be it.. there’s some other times too, but other than that nah, not really.. I do like juggling both in my mouth though.. I’ve felled a soldier or two with that move..
    However, I DID have a situation with this guy last year. He had a nice sized peen and the tiniest ballzac I’ve ever seen.. I was like, “What in the great day is THAT!?” I couldn’t stop laughing. I can be such a meanie..
    I could’ve done without the balls pics.. but then again, I just HAD to look..

    1. i am really growing fond of BP, unlike the oil spill she shares a name with she is quick and sharing.

      ball shaving is an art in itself. Its not like you are shaving one round hard object, its a round object that it in a big sack, and you have to shave this moving sack with a bunch of creases and folds.

      and yes I have cut myself before!
      Not to mention the pain of dipping your balls in rubbing alcohol.

      beauty has its price

      1. I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve used my wife’s nair. It works perfectly, it doesn’t burn or anything like that. Put it on and leave it for like 10-12 minutes then jump in the shower, wash it off and it’s like you’re a baby again.

        The best part about it – you can’t cut yourself. If you nick yourself on your balls with a razor, when the scar scabs, it’s gonna look like you have some sort of STD or something, which will be a turn off to any chick looking to give them some attention. And you sound stupid saying, “nah babe, I just cut my balls shaving”…

        1. does nair leave a chemical smell?

          I have used other ones that I can’t use the same day b/c they leave your skin smooth but tasting funny. (pause!)

        2. I hate being late to posts like this :(

          But I love balls. Even ball flavored tea. Hehe.

          Nair? I hate nair. But I will definitely recommend Veet. And you leave it on for FIVE minutes. Don’t do that 10 to 12 min unless you want to lose skin of your balls. :(

          Yay to balls!

      2. @ CheekZ why thank you. I know about the dangers of hairy balls and clippers. Lets just say I have umm…”assisted” a time or two. I am with Most and Reecie, use Nair or Veet** it will make your life easier.

        **Just make sure you don’t leave it on too long. How awful it would be to have spillage out of your beans instead of you frank.

        @ Most. I can appreciate a man who isn’t afraid to Nair. High 5 to the wifey for sharing with you.

  3. Maxie,

    I’m gonna go ahead and assume that this post is a loving and longing letter to me….Thank you, I’m flattered, yes my nuts are nice….

    And you’ve done it again, in one line you’ve done the world a huge solid:

    “Oh and PSA of the day:
    Ladies, if you are not sucking balls, you are failing at life.”

  4. lol at this post!!!! Hahhhaaa…

    as you know, I like everything so I’m cool with balls…altho I think I like them in my hand more than my mouth

      1. I’m telling you girl. Real women appreciate the sack!

        All these little heaux out there talking about loving d*ck are just talking shit. You cannot truly love the penis if you don’t love the scrotum.

  5. Hi Max! I had to catch up on the week’s posts (word to the wise: when someone tells you that “dry heat isn’t bad”, they are lying to you). First, I’m bringing up old stuff… the “hush mama” is CLASSIC. LOVE IT. My boo piece has it down – and it is DEFINITELY a sexy thing.

    As for today’s post – I’m definitely a fan of the scrotum, and not just for speaking on the mic. It’s something about them that intrigues me – and if you treat them right when you’re speaking on the mic….there’s some good sex coming your way.

  6. Just last Friday I was in a room full of women in which only 2 rocked the mic AND gave the balls special attention. I was trying to explain to them the benefits of “juggling”…for instance, its a break for your jaw.

    Get tired, try some balls

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