Why You Must Love Me

you must love me

If there’s one thing I know in life it’s that I don’t think like everyone else. What makes perfect sense to me is blasphemy to normal people and things that make my eyes get all squinty in confusion are just basic facts of life to the majority of the world.

It stands to reason then that the things that I find most compelling about myself are things that the men I’ve had my eye on have largely been unmoved by. Which is not to say that said men have never come to like or even love me; some of them have but just not for the reasons I thought they should. To me this is a tragedy of epic proportions and reason #4081 why I might just be single for life.

I probably shouldn’t even be concerned with why someone loves me as long as he does, but what can I say? I don’t make sense. And so, without further ado I present you my top 5 things you should love about me (that you probably don’t care about):

1. My encyclopedic knowledge of hip hop lyrics.

I recognize that this is max-logic in the extreme, but just as it’s hugely important to me that any man who locks me down have a database of lyrics in his head, I think it would be kinda nice if a man appreciated the fact that I know every word of ATLiens from start to finish. No one does though.

2. My easygoing nature.

I’m not the type of woman who enjoys living inside her man’s nutsack. I have a life and I appreciate a man who has one too. I don’t require daily calls or thrice-weekly dates to feel secure in my relationship. I’m doing my thing and am more than happy to let you do yours. Now considering the amount of men running around claiming that this is the type of woman they want, you would think that my suitors would feel like they hit the lottery the day they met me. But you would be wrong. Because it seems that what is even more appealing than a woman who is off living her life while you’re living yours is one who is sitting at home gnashing her teeth wondering where you are and what you’re doing. And that ain’t me.

3. This blog.

To me, dating a blogger is a win. You get an inside peek at how they think, they probably know a lot about sex, and it’s your opportunity to have your little peccadillos put on display for the whole internets to see. Oh wait – that’s not a selling point is it? Anyway bloggers by definition are at the very least disciplined and are usually also either talented or skillful writers. And that’s hot right? Yeah not so much. Maybe it’s different for male bloggers but for me letting a man know about this blog is the equivalent to pinning a big fat scarlet A to my chest.

5. I know everything.

Well maybe not everything, but I do have a fair amount of interesting factoids rolling around in my head. I’m the kind of person that you can call up out of the blue and ask what the second-richest county in the US is and I’ll know. If you pick me for your Trivial Pursuit team you will smoke any opponent thanks to all the randomness in my head. Why isn’t this hot? That’s just about the only thing I don’t know.

4. I’ve had a lot of sex. That means I know a lot about sex. Which means sex with me will always be a good time.

6. I’m a straight shooter.

It is a fundamental fact of max that I’m really not good at holding water in my mouth. If I’m not feeling something you did you will know about it and if I like you, love you, or want to bone you you’ll know that too. Just like that other max, you don’t ever wonder with me. Sounds like an amazing selling point but I think it’s actually fantastically boring for men, who seem to prefer being confused to being informed. Oh well.

But what do you guys think? Are there qualities of yours that the world fails to appreciate about you? Did any of mine make you fall in love? Speak on it in the comments.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 15

  1. Sukez says:

    I love you Max :) heart you so much I almost typed “Mac”. The X and the C are too close together. You’re #’s suck. That’s a great reason to love you. :)

    Now what’s there to love about Sukez? Hmm *rubs chin*

    1. I think I kinda rock. Then again, don’t we all? Ehh *crosses that off*
    2. I have a mind with a few forks in the road. I can go from talking about shoelaces to why we’re still in the middle east fighting some “war” and I HATE politics.
    3. When I smile, the world might too. Unless some people hate me. Then they’re mad. Tell em why.
    4. I don’t do sports like that. Only juggle one type of balls. And it’s fun for us both. (us being guy and I)
    5. I have a few other reasons why I should be loved but I won’t list them because they’re too… deep. *le purr*

    Oh and I bite. On demand though.

    1. max says:

      I think the fact that I’m mathematically challenged is cute and therefore a good reason to love me.

  2. Streetz says:

    I think I love you because of your excellent math skills. They are impeccable. I hope to meet a woman swho can count like you!

    1. max says:

      Whatever Duckface!

  3. required says:

    I’m not sure how many guys are cool with the fact that their girl knows more about basically everything than he does.

    Not great for the ego!

    I think a really secure math nerd night be able to fully appreciate those things.

    1. max says:

      Well I didn’t want to be the one to say it, but I’m not gonna disagree with you.

  4. HLBB says:

    Nope. Dated the math genius. He was still intimidated. I am basically all the items on this list except #1…

    One would think that it’s enough, but minus minor diversions, I’ve been single for about 6 years…

  5. Dash says:

    1) I am a great Devil’s Advocate, probably the best East of The Tennessee River.
    2) I also have the ability to spin bad news.
    3) My poker face is top notch. I hate old people and children, yet old people and children do not know I hate them.
    4) I am really good at Mario video games.
    5) I am charming to mothers everywhere as long as they are not Haitian.
    6) My mood swings make dealing with me an adventure.

  6. Nick@Nite says:

    I love you for the hours of entertainment you bring me. . you’re one of the few people I’ll answer the phone for.. and because you’re going to Florida in October.. *brushes off hands*
    #Nuffsaid

    People should love me because:
    1. I am funny! *Nuffsaid* (do not use my comment to judge whether or not that is true)
    2. I love my own company, thus don’t require a man to “complete me”
    3. I am that nerd, that pulls out random references previously found in episodes of Jeopardy!
    4. If I don’t know something, I’m humble enough to ask you to teach me.
    5. I prefer outdoor activities to being inside. so yes, let’s go swimming!
    and 6. I’m several shades of Awesome!

    you bettnot doubt it!!

    1. max says:

      You know why I love you? First because you are an epic failure at story telling. It’s cute. Second because you are the most observant person ever.

  7. let’s see. hip hop lyrics. i love em. i love a good beat but lyrics are what really move me. which is why i’ll take nas, jay, talib, common, naledge, j cole and wale over lil wayne, drake, nicki minaj, 50 cent, drake, gucci mane, wacka flocka and drake any day. not that those artists aren’t any good but i appreciate lyrics above all else.

    as far as what you crossed out. a lot of sex doesn’t always equal a great partner. yea experience is sometimes the best teacher but nothing beats chemistry. if you don’t have it then you don’t have it.

  8. BP says:

    Ooooh your honesty! Keeps me coming back…as “cocky” as you are you are honest too. Love that!

    I have a plethora of reasons to love me but #1 is I am a giver.

  9. jessiejess says:

    @ dash “As long as they are not haitian” … My mother is sooooo easy. Lol what did YOU do??

    1. Dash says:

      Other than my perpetual smirk, I don’t know. They just do not love me like the others. All of my non-Haitian friend’s mothers call me and send me chain text messages with regularity. Even my non-Haitian exes mothers check up on me from time to time. I am 1/6 with Haitian mothers.

      1. Jessiejess says:

        bc Haitian mothers DONT text…. lol

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