If there’s one thing I know in life it’s that I don’t think like everyone else. What makes perfect sense to me is blasphemy to normal people and things that make my eyes get all squinty in confusion are just basic facts of life to the majority of the world.
It stands to reason then that the things that I find most compelling about myself are things that the men I’ve had my eye on have largely been unmoved by. Which is not to say that said men have never come to like or even love me; some of them have but just not for the reasons I thought they should. To me this is a tragedy of epic proportions and reason #4081 why I might just be single for life.
I probably shouldn’t even be concerned with why someone loves me as long as he does, but what can I say? I don’t make sense. And so, without further ado I present you my top 5 things you should love about me (that you probably don’t care about):
1. My encyclopedic knowledge of hip hop lyrics.
I recognize that this is max-logic in the extreme, but just as it’s hugely important to me that any man who locks me down have a database of lyrics in his head, I think it would be kinda nice if a man appreciated the fact that I know every word of ATLiens from start to finish. No one does though.
2. My easygoing nature.
I’m not the type of woman who enjoys living inside her man’s nutsack. I have a life and I appreciate a man who has one too. I don’t require daily calls or thrice-weekly dates to feel secure in my relationship. I’m doing my thing and am more than happy to let you do yours. Now considering the amount of men running around claiming that this is the type of woman they want, you would think that my suitors would feel like they hit the lottery the day they met me. But you would be wrong. Because it seems that what is even more appealing than a woman who is off living her life while you’re living yours is one who is sitting at home gnashing her teeth wondering where you are and what you’re doing. And that ain’t me.
3. This blog.
To me, dating a blogger is a win. You get an inside peek at how they think,
they probably know a lot about sex, and it’s your opportunity to have your little peccadillos put on display for the whole internets to see. Oh wait – that’s not a selling point is it? Anyway bloggers by definition are at the very least disciplined and are usually also either talented or skillful writers. And that’s hot right? Yeah not so much. Maybe it’s different for male bloggers but for me letting a man know about this blog is the equivalent to pinning a big fat scarlet A to my chest.
5. I know everything.
Well maybe not everything, but I do have a fair amount of interesting factoids rolling around in my head. I’m the kind of person that you can call up out of the blue and ask what the second-richest county in the US is and I’ll know. If you pick me for your Trivial Pursuit team you will smoke any opponent thanks to all the randomness in my head. Why isn’t this hot? That’s just about the only thing I don’t know.
4. I’ve had a lot of sex. That means I know a lot about sex. Which means sex with me will always be a good time.
6. I’m a straight shooter.
It is a fundamental fact of max that I’m really not good at holding water in my mouth. If I’m not feeling something you did you will know about it and if I like you, love you, or want to bone you you’ll know that too. Just like that other max, you don’t ever wonder with me. Sounds like an amazing selling point but I think it’s actually fantastically boring for men, who seem to prefer being confused to being informed. Oh well.
But what do you guys think? Are there qualities of yours that the world fails to appreciate about you? Did any of mine make you fall in love? Speak on it in the comments.