The Lost Art of Fingering

I know what you can do with those...

Ah fingering. Once upon a time before we lost our virginities it was the height of sexual activity. Now you’re lucky if you get one measly finger halfway inserted for two seconds before the show goes on. I swear men put about as much care and attention into fingering as I do into dipping my hands into the pomade jar before I smooth down my hair and it’s just not right.

Men – lean in close and let me tell you something important: fingering is a win. It’s not just what you do to coax out the love that hasn’t come down on its own, it’s what you do to get the girl open so that she’s begging you for more. If you don’t know how to do that do not ever attempt to fuck me I don’t know what to say to you. But I will share some tips that will work for me the majority of women.

1. Groom yourself

If you try to shove your raggedy fingernails into my silk purse you are gonna snag the lining. And that is not a good thing. There’s no reason for your shit not to be groomed in the first place, but please make sure you handle that before you come around me.

2. It’s not a lesbian porno

So please do not immediately attempt to shove your entire fist in my ladyflower. If fisting is what you’re into we can talk about it you need to ease your way into it.

3. If you’re not hitting the G spot don’t even bother

There is nothing worse than a dude fingering you and hitting everything in there but the money spot. Do your research and find out where the G spot is and what to do when you find it. Otherwise keep your fingers to yourself.

5. Two in the pink, one in the stink

#FTW. That’s all. Google it if you’re brand new.

Those are my¬† tips for fingering, but I’m sure you guys have more to add. Ladies how do you feel about fingering – is it a lost art or can you do without it? Men – do you apply yourself to this task or just try to get ‘er done before you move on to the main event? It’s Friday – overshare!

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 30

  1. Reecie says:

    yessss. I'm so glad you wrote this. I had pondered a few years ago where had all the good fingering gone? LMAO.

    I enjoy it. especially w/ some good clit stimulation… indeed. and #5 well uhm. yeah I don' think anybody should be brand new. lol
    My recent post All Points Bulletin

  2. average chick says:

    I can do without it. When I paint my nails I don't do it so I don't need a guy to to it to me.my feeling is if you have the real thing what are you doing wasting your time with a finger.

  3. maxfab says:

    True. But I think it's also a good preview for what is to come – I've never had a dude who was good at fingering but a bad fuck or vice versa. I think they go hand in hand.

  4. maxfab says:

    The men have definitely stopped applying themselves to this task…it's such a tragedy.

  5. __melissa says:

    there's not a lot that I can do without, so fingering is a-ok with me. Its a good preview, but its also a good filler. Like when he needs a breather before the finale. I also like the mental aspect of it…like the "i can't keep my hands off you" kind of thing.

  6. Streetz says:

    As a man I can say that dudes stay losing by not applying their fingers. In fact, men are losing the art of foreplay all together. To me its sex 101, to others its an AP class.

    Theres nothing better than seeing a womans reaction and readiness to get all the way turnt up!

    Good ish Max!

  7. thefabfoodie says:

    LOVE IT. Fingering is a lost art – luckily the boo-piece did not let this art die. There is nothing that gets me going like waking up in the middle of the night with his hands stirring up some action in my honeypot. It makes me want more and get anxious for what I know is coming. Men – let your fingers do the talking every once in a while!
    My recent post Foodie Trip Report- Martha’s Vineyard

    1. max says:

      Mmm yes! See I do not rate morning sex but some morning fingering WINS!

  8. nicknotnikki says:

    I dont' mind fingering if it's because we're pressed for time, or if we're trying to be all coy while my momma walks around the house, but other than that, I can do without it.
    When it comes down to secksy time, a finger is not what i want! But then again, it's possible I've been dealing with some people that took the remedial class…
    Very possible…
    My recent post I packed it up and moved

  9. nicknotnikki says:

    I'm sorry.. Morning finger is amovement I can support.. But if there's some morening bobblehead, then that wins everytime, all of the time…
    Sex Panther..Lol..
    My recent post A Tribute to Tom and Jerry…

  10. thefabfoodie says:

    Morning sex is what happens after morning fingering meets the phrase, "what time do you have to be at work?" Either way, I'll be chipper at work for a least an hour (until I remember how much I LOATHE my job. Is there a stronger word than LOATHE? If there is, then insert that one instead.)
    My recent post Foodie Trip Report- Martha’s Vineyard

  11. maxfab says:

    Ugh I want to love you and then you say some ish like this and I realize that you are all wrong for me!

  12. Starita34 says:

    I like "abhor" it just sounds hateful!

  13. Starita34 says:

    Thank you!! So it's not just me?? I LOVE the tease, I gotta say, I'm not even that much into getting eaten out (don't kill me, there's only been one guy that I've let do it, maybe he was just bad, I totally plan on letting another try on day, but right now, I can take or leave the getting eaten out) but getting fingered! Oh, I just melt…if I was on the fence a minute ago, you may have just made me hop over.

    And #5, that's really #4, but that's why we love you…#5 is the TRUTH! :-) You gotta share this post on other sites with more men, I don't think they're hearing us.

    That is all.

  14. maxfab says:

    I am sooo with you on getting head. I will take a pass please and thanks – just finger me instead and I'm good!

  15. Satya says:

    What do you mean men have have stopped fingering? The last two bfs I had were master fingerers lol. It is great. I <3 it…. I think that covers it.

    Love what you have going on on this here blog

  16. maxfab says:

    Thank you….and don't show off! :D

  17. thefabfoodie says:

    GOOD ONE. I abhor my job. *shudders* yes…that really puts the umph on it.
    My recent post Foodie Trip Report- Martha’s Vineyard

  18. thefabfoodie says:

    DEFINITELY feel you on the cunnilingus…I'm not a fan either. Not to say that I wouldn't change my mind, but I'm good without it.
    My recent post Foodie Trip Report- Martha’s Vineyard

  19. CHeeKZ Money says:

    Fingering is one of the quickest ways to turn a ‘no’ into a *awkward silence of non communication which men take as an ok to proceed with sexual intercourse**

    Best way to advance past a girl who thinks its too soon to spoon is to make her feel good. You can’t start with your pipe b/c the moment you go for your pants she goes for the lights. Same with going down on her. But as long as you can get your finger around the skinny part of her panties, you just give her that ET finger and point it toward the wetness. Eventually you are going to have to take her pants off to turn her hand the proper way, but you get my point.

    Girls vary in their ‘nail painting’ so much. I know several who don’t ever touch their gspot, just button pushers. Makes a good fingering even more exclusive. Handy, since I don’t want to be competing against the home team.

    Oh and Max for sanitary reasons, I was trained to use the other hand to put a finger in your @$$. Avoid yeast infections. See…. Who looks out for you better than CHeeKZ??!!

  20. max says:

    CHeeKZ you’re so right. A little fingering is the best way to turn a no into a yes. I know it always works on me!

  21. keisha brown says:

    ah… maxi.. (can i call you maxi? how bout as an ode to kardinal i’ll call u oh miss maxine? lol..im digressing).

    i 1,453,864,789.99% love this post.
    im totally indifferent on getting head cuz out of all my partners.. only 3 have done this oh so well. one got my body to do things it had NEVER done. no one has ever done it since.
    but a dude that knows how to let his fingers do the walking? (#noyellowpages) is def FTW.
    i dont know if im sad or angry.. but i gotta go now. lol.

  22. @twitthis29 says:

    I freakin’ love you! Gonna tell the boo about this and maybe he will get the hint. This is a wonderful conversation starter.

  23. ha, I will try out my thought, your post bring me some good ideas, it’s truly amazing, thanks.

    - Murk

  24. last week our class held a similar discussion on this subject and you illustrate something we haven’t covered yet, thanks.

    - Laura

  25. jana ali shah says:

    it is to good for me i do it every night

  26. Klayton says:

    Tip for all the guys. If you have dry hands use lotion. No one wants dry scaly hands stroking their genitals,
    . On a side note start getting manicures. I used to do them myself until my fiance asked me if I had them fine and I said no I do them myself. I started going with her to get hers and by the time were done she’s rearing to have em in her. No easier way to turn a girl on then to get her nails done and then get a good fingering

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