The Great Guy and the Regular Chick

21
Jul
2010
we see how well this turned out

Only a few days left to nominate me and my blogging buddies for the Black Weblog Awards…have you done it yet? Last night I was gossiping talking to a girlfriend about a mutual friend of ours and his new-ish boo-piece. The dude is pretty dope. Very smart, highly educated and very well-read. Cultured and well-traveled [...]


Only a few days left to nominate me and my blogging buddies for the Black Weblog Awards…have you done it yet?



Last night I was gossiping talking to a girlfriend about a mutual friend of ours and his new-ish boo-piece. The dude is pretty dope. Very smart, highly educated and very well-read. Cultured and well-traveled but not obnoxious about it. He reads books and plays sports. Has good taste in music and movies. Attractive and well-hung built. And he’s funny. He is, for lack of a better word, a great guy.

Now booski on the other hand is just…meh. She’s a pretty girl, but in an entirely unspectacular way. Okay body dressed in the most generic offerings ever put forth by the regular girl trifecta of Old Navy/The Gap/Banana Republic. She’s smart enough to follow the conversation when we all hang but seemingly without the ability to contribute to it. She’s not funny but she’s able to understand a joke and laugh unassumingly at it. Neither particularly friendly nor particular stand-offish. The kind of girl that you don’t mind having around but who you don’t miss when she’s absent. She’s not a reader or a sports fan and her taste in television shows is more The City than Lost, more The Hills than True Blood. Musically she’s strictly Top 40. In short, she’s just….regular.

Before hooking up with this girl, our buddy had been single for a long time. And being the kind of friends who like to discuss things repeatedly and ad nauseam, I had heard many times his spiel about how he was looking for exactly the right woman. While this guy is not arrogant in any sense of the word, he’s well aware that he’s a bit of a catch and was holding out for a woman who was a match for him. So the day he announced that he was bringing “someone for us to meet” to one of our hang out sessions, imagine our surprise when he showed up with a girl who was just…regular.

This is a phenomenon I’ve witnessed too many times. I’m fortunate to have a lot of dynamic men in my life; some exes, some cousins, some friends. And it seems that 99% of the time that these dudes wife up, the girl is just…milquetoast. Meanwhile my most interesting, most dynamic, funniest and coolest female friends remain perpetually single with ladyflowers drying up under the hot sun of celibacy.

What is up with that?

Being the loud mouths type of people we are, as soon as the opportunity arose my girl and I began to hammer our buddy with questions about her; progressing quickly through the polite “where did you meet/how did you get together” stuff and getting straight to the point – why her? His answer basically boiled down to that she was easy. Not easy in the sense of being a mattress, but easy in the sense of being drama free. Accommodating. Undemanding.

Well colour me high-maintenance, but I would shoot myself in the head if “easy” was my boyfriend’s reason for being with me.

I’m aware now that pretty girls have a bad rep for being too much work…but is this also true about interesting girls? Smart girls? Funny girls? Stylish girls? Is a woman who is accommodating and easy but lacks a discernible personality really so preferable to one who might give you an occasional headache but who can excite you with her intellect or cajole you out of a bad mood with her humour? Should we as women stop focusing on being interesting and start working on being obsequious?

My informal twitter poll last night didn’t yield any conclusive answers (sidebar: do you guys love how I always say “informal twitter poll” as if it’s possible to have a “formal” poll on twitter??). There was a fair amount of people who mistook my definition of “regular” to mean pretty; therefore there were a fair amount of knee-jerk responses suggesting that the man has matured enough to value compatibility over looks. But don’t get it twisted – pretty girls can be regular too. Being regular isn’t about looks; to me it comes down to this: if someone asked me what you’re like and I can’t come up with five adjectives to describe your personality, you’re regular. Because you have no distinguishing characteristics.

But anyway…what do you guys think? Is this dynamic guy-regular chick phenomenon one you’ve noticed before? Or is this just saltiness on the part of an interesting chick who can’t find someone to take her to the outdoor movies at Harbourfront one of those things that can’t be understood when you’re looking at a relationship from the outside? Is there an inverse of this – dynamic women wifing regular dudes? And my gentleman – have you ever wifed a regular girl? Illuminate me in the comments.



51 Comments

  • sdukez says:

    *le sigh* I like this post a lot. A few guy friends have done that and gotten the "You ended up with HER of ALL PEOPLE?!" look. It baffles me. Stuns me. Simply amazed. One of those phenomenons [like Sasquatch and Bigfoot] that I'll never understand, no matter what kind of scientific explanation you can come up with. Someone called me regular in a discussion with greeks and non-greeks (regulars) and I was offended. Not because I wasn't greek but because of the word used. I mean, go ahead and call me a "GDI" but REGULAR? I was O.Ffended. I didn't run and cry but the sh!t cut deep. Who wants to be called regular? Being a regular girl LOOKS and is wack and I've seen some become victims of this. But for great guys to end up with them? That's offensive and a waste. Then the single ones are usually more fun. Regular is like.. watching paint dry. And the fun ones? Body painting. [I actually like that image ^_^ #noFreaky] I like weird. Or let's just say different.

    I mean if the guy is happy, maybe it's deeper and we are doing that "from the outside-in" viewing. But still. *Suki mean mug*
    My recent post People watching gone right!

  • @MsEsquire77 says:

    Thank you for clarifying what "regular" means to you. When I saw your poll last night I was working from my personal definition which is: easygoing but fun to be around, drama-free, cute but not runway ready, etc. Basically, I was thinking of me :) I think other folks may have been coming a similar definition.

    Nobody wants drama and discord but the person you're dating should excite, intrigue and challenge you. If not, boredom sets in and that's the breeding ground for infidelity. With that said, I feel sorry for your friend and the girl that he's dating. I don't imagine that it's going to end well…

  • maxfab says:

    A commenter called me regular on FXP the other day….I was BENT! I told him…I am many things….but I am NOT regular.

  • sdukez says:

    What's FXP…wait.. *looks on sidebar* I answered my own question for the 2nd time today lol

    My recent post People watching gone right!

  • sdukez says:

    Um, Regular =! you. #ThatIsAll
    My recent post People watching gone right!

  • melissa says:

    based on your description, i am a regular girl. the city and the hills are currently on my pvr. i listen to the radio and therefore am top 40. on any given day, i will guarantee that you will find something from old navy on me. and i'm ok with this so long as i have friends that like me and want to be around me.

    as i said on twitter, she's probably different when she's with him than she is in public. i think that you are looking at their relationship from the outside and have made your judgements, for whatever reason, but you don't know what they're like in private and you don't know what she's like in private. maybe if she warmed up to you the way she's warmed up to him, you might find that she's more than just the regular chick you pegged her to be.

  • SmartCat says:

    This used to baffle me a bit – having been left by the ex for Mistress Ordinary. But now (shrugs shoulder) I don't worry about it : he's happy with her, they have kids, weekends at Cdn Tire and a minivan. That's never what I wanted, but it's what he's (apparently) always wanted, so I'm genuinely glad he found someone with the same inclinations. It's hard to know what attracts people to one another enough to form a relationship, but if it works out, it works out.

    In the end, I think affection can overlook other qualities that we once thought were "necessary" in a partner. Or (as I think aloud here) maybe affection separates the important qualites from the ones that aren't so important.

    (The world is a big place: lots to see, lots to explore, lots to experience, lots to learn, and a million ways to drink it all in. I need someone with whom I can debate, explore, and change the world with. And who can dance. That's my type of ordinary. :)

  • maxfab says:

    I don't think you're regular. If I had to describe your personality I could. I notice when you're around and when you're not.

    And I do think you're right to a point that the relationship looks different from the inside…but on the other hand, by his own admission her great appeal is that she's easy…so it doesn't seem like her personality or individuality are great selling points for him.

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    Are you being salty? Yes…………….Just joking….

    …seriously though, as a couple of commenters have already mentioned I think this is a case of looking at things from the outside in….Plus, I don't think women recognize how refreshing it is a for a man to be in a situation that is "drama free". And if you don't know what drama free means, you're probably one of those ladies who causes whole heaps of drama in your man's life…

    Put it to you this way. I used to date this chica who was off the chain cute. She had a warm and welcoming personality, was the life of the party, everyone (and I mean all my friends and family) loved when I brought her around. Outwardly, she seemed perfect, everyone thought they were looking at the future Mrs. Sharpe. When we broke up, no one could understand it (actually it's been 5 years and some people still ask about it). Thing is, privately it was pure drama…lies, mistrust, wild mood swings, unreasonable expectations…that shit will drive a man to drink, drugs and to disappear on yo' ass…but as I said, publicly she seemed to be the shit…and too often what seems to be the shit, is just shit…..

    Trust me ladies, I don't know who's regular from who's not…but I know that men don't want drama….So max, when your friend says easy, this might be what he means…..And let me tell you, I've heard many, many, many men say the very same thing about their woman….By time most dudes reach the age where they're looking for a wifey, they've been through a gauntlet of drama with women, so a lady who promises a drama free zone has a leg up on the competition….

    max, you said:

    "Well colour me high-maintenance, but I would shoot myself in the head if "easy" was my boyfriend's reason for being with me."

    get that pistol ready.

    oh, and my apologies for the long ass comment.

    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • maxfab says:

    I totally agree. I think regular is appealing at first but in my experience, sooner or later that dudes end up cheating on Ms. Regular with Ms. Dynamic or Ms. Interesting or Ms. Exciting.

    That said, I bet money that he would marry this girl.

  • maxfab says:

    Ah Sam Sharpe you make some very interesting points…but it seems that your – and all of the other men with whom I've discussed this – point of view hinges on drama or the lack thereof.

    So I ask you this – is it not possible for a great guy to have a relationship with a non-regular woman that is drama free? Does interesting + interesting always = drama?

  • maxfab says:

    "In the end, I think affection can overlook other qualities that we once thought were "necessary" in a partner."

    This is close to my opinion on the subject.

    I think that a lot of men (and many more men than women) will sacrifice interesting and compatible for easy and ego-stroking. I think having a woman with no personality to speak of means having a woman who is bending to your will in just about every matter and I think that is a big part of the appeal of the regular chick. I also think that regular girls are more accommodating than non-regular girls and are more willing to go 60-40 or 70-30 instead of insisting on everything being 50-50…if that makes sense.

    Ultimately I think that for a regular chick, her great guy is by far the most interesting thing going on in her life…and what man wouldn't be charmed by that?

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    Ooh, here's another point I was gonna touch on but forgot with my longwindedness:

    Not to be too cynical, but Ms. Dynamic or Ms. Interesting or Ms. Exciting are always available as a sidepiece. You might not marry her though. But seriously, ladies, you are still really underestimating how important it is to have a woman who is chill (and I don't mean likes to chill, although that could be part of it)…and isn't that a character or personality trait? Y'all are trying to be Lamborghini's when many men just need that Acura….
    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • maxfab says:

    Okay but again – why can't a woman be interesting and dynamic and still be chill? I know I am…and I don't believe I'm the only woman in the world who is like this.

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    "I think that a lot of men (and many more men than women) will sacrifice interesting and compatible for easy and ego-stroking. I think having a woman with no personality to speak of means having a woman who is bending to your will in just about every matter and I think that is a big part of the appeal of the regular chick. I also think that regular girls are more accommodating than non-regular girls and are more willing to go 60-40 or 70-30 instead of insisting on everything being 50-50…if that makes sense."

    I'm giving this the gas face. I can only speak definitively for myself, but I don't think getting your ego stroked has anything to do with it. Look, a woman can be the hypest chick around, but if the private time/space is filled with drama it's not a good look…and I don't think bending to a man's will is the exclusive domain of the proverbial regular chick or even a characteristic I would attribute to the regular chick…lots of women bend over backwards and become doormats for men (Halle Berry anyone? Paging Lauryn Hill. )….a woman can insist on things being 50/50, set standards for herself and still be easy/regular/drama free.

    "her great guy is by far the most interesting thing going on in her life…and what man wouldn't be charmed by that?"

    Actually, being the most interesting thing in her life is a recipe for drama, not a recipe for good times. Trust me on this.

    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • maxfab says:

    Okay I believe you on the last bit. But I'm sticking to my ego-theory. Actually the fact that you do not co-sign it actually confirms its veracity for me…because God knows you do not think like a normal dude.

  • __melissa says:

    then again, maybe that's what he's just telling you. Oh, she's easy…and you can't say much about that. But on the inside he could be like, yah to you she's just whatever but to me, she's chill and cool and is the best person I've ever known. I'm exaggerating here but my point is, I don't know many guys who really like to gush or admit a girl has his heart beyond the usual "oh yah she's hot and freak" kinda jargon. I guess my point still remains that as an outsider, you really don't know the relationship or connection or chemistry between 2 people. To you she may be regular…but to him she might be more.

  • @rapturepr says:

    Many interesting points have been raised in the comments – but at the end of it I still come to the same conclusion…that a regular girl is the girl that will take a man's bull$hit, no questions asked.

    When someone is described as easy and drama free, in my opinion, it means they will not challenge their partner on anything and ultimately just submit to whatever their opinion or reasoning is. #thatisall

  • __melissa says:

    I don't necessarily think that's true. You can challenge someone without being overly aggressive or dramatic. And you can agree to disagree without it becoming a heated discussion.

    I don't think easy = doormat. I think easy means you don't get overly sensitive when things don't go your way, you don't throw tantrums when you don't get what you want and if there are issues, you talk them out like adults.

  • Anna N. says:

    I've met a few girls like that, they just take a long time to warm up to folks. But I do think you're being a little harsh on the girl. You didn't say that she was needy, or acted treacherous in any way. Your only complaint is that YOU wouldn't date her because she's boring and "regular". And somehow "regular" is inferior to….sparkling, fabulous, witty? She may be all of those things and just chooses to share them with a more limited audience. Give the girl a chance.

  • maxfab says:

    Okay you're probably at least a little bit right here…but after months of hearing this dude talk about the kind of woman that a man like him needs to be with…the idea that he comes with this chick who is the total and complete opposite just had us like – huh? what? And then his "reasoning" that she's easy is just….I don't know. Like I said, if easy was the first thing that came to mind when someone was describing why he was with me, I wouldn't care to wake up on another day.

    But I guess that's just my interesting, dynamic, and therefore dramatic side coming out :)

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    Thank you very much __melissa for articulating/defining "easy" better than I could in this context. A lot of women want to believe that men are afraid of being challenged (and there are some men out there like that), it's easier to swallow than "he just likes her better" or "I'm batshit crazy" or "I'm waaay to dramatic". But there's a world of difference between being self sufficient, independent, strong willed on one hand and being overly aggressive, dramatic and domineering on the other…and male or female, no one wants to be with the latter.

    DRAMA: Where the f*** have you been? Why didn't you call me? We never spend time together.

    EASY: Oh, I was out with my girls, I didn't notice you were gone. Let's hang out tonight
    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • Nickerz says:

    i LOVE this post.. i can't say i've witnessed it, but I'm not surprised that this happens..
    "I'm aware now that pretty girls have a bad rep for being too much work…but is this also true about interesting girls? Smart girls? Funny girls?"
    We are >>>here<<<.. i don't understand how being "easy" or "regular" trumps being interesting or charismatic.. i can say that i was with someone i know wished was regular.. we got into fights because i was "too charismatic" and had "too much personality".. i can definitely say he was a panty meat..
    i don't fault homeboy for taking the easy road, but how can one not get tired of that?

    My recent post Dont Piss on my Parade

  • @rapturepr says:

    I don't consider myself easy but I do consider myself drama free. In no way am I "overly aggressive, dramatic and domineering" – but I will give my opinion when asked and I will debate in a civilized and articulate manner.

    But do not assume that I am full of drama because I do these things – know that I am "self sufficient, independent and strong willed" – and that as much as I am a very passionate person, that passion is always delivered in a lady-like fashion whether we're alone or at a social gathering.

    So in the end, what I'm saying is that there is a middle ground and you cannot put females into either category – if you can, that's the problem!

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    First and foremost, for me "easy" and "drama free" are synonymous. Second, I didn't and do not assume anything about you or anyone else. I painted two scenarios in very broad strokes to emphasize my point. But it seems to me that many of the comments on this thread are quick to assume that a man who wants "easy" is doing so because he's afraid of a woman who will challenge him. In your own words:

    "but at the end of it I still come to the same conclusion…that a regular girl is the girl that will take a man's bull$hit, no questions asked."

    If you're the self sufficient, independent and strong willed woman that you say you are (and you're clearly intelligent and articulate) then I and many men would love to meet more women just like you. Why? Because you sound like a regular human being who doesn't want drama. Not because you're a pushover. Listen, If I want a doormat, I'll go to IKEA.
    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • @rapturepr says:

    First of all, LOL @ the IKEA comment, I hear what you're saying…and I also agree that easy and drama free are synonymous – but I will stick with what I said previously…and that's simply based on my opinion and my experience.

    Now I'm gonna behave like the drama-free girl that I am and say thanks for responding :) … now I'm gonna read your post – cuz you've piqued my interest with the title alone, lol!

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    Now, like the great guy that I am who loves spectacular, intelligent, articulate and drama free women I've got to say you've got me chuckling. As for the title of the post, be warned that I didn't write it….but you may find it interesting nonetheless….

    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • maxfab says:

    I don't think easy and drama-free are synonymous.

    I am not easy in the sense that I am not going to lay down in the road so a man can drive right over me. But I am drama-free in that if he attempts that, I will let him know that he's not okay in a constructive, undramatic way.

  • Dr. J says:

    I actually like The City and The Hills, waaaayyyy more than I like Lost or True Blood. II digress…

    I think that most dudes don't want to date the pretty girl because she's too pretty and requires extra work, a smart girl is too smart and that's cool to have a friend, but not as someone you have to deal with all the time, a funny girl may tell too many jokes, (I had a girl tell me she laughs during sex, and she couldn't understand why this was a problem), and so on and so forth. Men like basic broads because they aren't going to have to do too much maintenance in addition to their normal relationship duties.

    I think that what a girl wants to do is not be the intellectual type, but be a girl who just happens to be intellectual and funny. Don't let an adjective define you, let it describe you and you'll find more men approaching you.
    My recent post I’m not trying to take your girlfriend!

  • Little Miss Sunshine says:

    I'm going to straddle the line here.

    I've definitely had my guy friend talk up all he wants in a girl and then pick a snooze-fest. And when you asked him why he picked her the response was disappointing- to say the least. But eventually he came to his senses and picked a great girl to marry.

    I do think however that a) guys aren't always great at articulating thoughts b) there must be something going on at home to explain why he made it official. Now are all those reasons "respectable" – nope. But hey- it's your relationship- do what makes you happy.

    As far as the interesting girls go… I think that a stigma has been attached to being pretty and/or opinionated where it means high drama and high maintenance. Unfortunately that sucks for the people who are not that way but ultimately I think there's a win in store.
    My recent post Amazing

  • maxfab says:

    Welcome!

    I like your point of view….at the end of the day what goes on between a great guy and his regular chick is not my concern; however I cannot cosign a man who lists "easy" as his girlfriend's most compelling attribute.

    And this business about pretty/interesting girls being dramatic really needs to stop. It's so ridiculous.

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    max, in your post you made this distinction:

    "Not easy in the sense of being a mattress, but easy in the sense of being drama free"

    so, I was operating under the assumption that easy=drama free

    Now, I don't know your friend, but if he's like most men I know and unless he explicitly said that he can treat her like a door mat or things of that sort I'm gonna hazard a guess and say that for him "easy" and "drama free" are the same shit….

    ..but if you're actually defining easy as a pushover and that is what he meant, then you have a friend who wants a doormat. Case closed, end of discussion. And that's not exclusive to men. Lots of women want a man whose program they can run….I guess there's nothing wrong with that, different strokes for different folks and all….

  • maxfab says:

    Fuck you're right. You're right. I shouldn't have said that. This is what writing posts before I've had my coffee gets me.

  • Sam Sharpe says:

    interesting does not always = drama. But interesting is entirely subjective, doesn't take out the garbage, listen to each other's gripes or balance a chequebook..

    Point is, when a dude reaches the point where he's ready to settle down with wifey, the fact that she's the life of the party or a great storyteller or whatever is only part of the equation. Whether she can show and prove for friends/family is important, but what and how she shows and proves when it's just him and her is more important…ya dig!
    My recent post Guest Post- Chokehold

  • CHeeKZ Money says:

    **listening to j Cole in a real good mood**

    Yeap. Easy going is so important for a man. How often have you guys heard the SBM crew say "you degree can't suck me off." Apply the concept to these qualities "Your good taste in clothes can't hook up a steak." You said it yourself, she is good enough to keep up with conversation, so I would rather take the smedium convo that is drama free. We hate drama and lets face it smart eclectic people are odd (how many rules do you have max?)

    That is why I say all these women with these long ass lists are unattractive to the men who qualify to all your demands.

    "Where I'm from.. If you ever see what I see"

  • 2CentsGuy says:

    This sounds like an angry black woman post. I'd take an honest, kind, caring, driven woman any day over a JET beauty of the week with an MD that lack the most important traits for a successful relationship. You unfairly judged this "regular" girl without ever really knowing anything about her that really matters in a relationship.

    Black women and women in general should stop being salty when they see a man with a woman that they deem isn't good enough for him. Stop worrying about them and you just be good enough for yourself. Then a man will come along that thinks youre amazing despite what any person/ blog (this should be a strikethrough but I cant do that) thinks.

    *says amen*

    *claps for my damn self*

  • maxfab says:

    *sighs loudly*

    First question – have you ever gone to a white man's blog and dismissed his opinion as an "angry white guy post"? Have you ever typed the words "this sounds like you're an angry Asian chick" in someone's comment box? Race is not mentioned anywhere in this story…why is that the first place you went?

    You would take "an honest, kind, caring, driven woman any day over a JET beauty of the week with an MD that lack the most important traits for a successful relationship" Yeah – you don't get an award for that – that's common sense. Everyone on here would. But that's not the issue we're examining here. The issue here is a) why does a man who says he wants a woman who is x, y, and z choose one who is a, b, and c. And b) if the most valuable quality you see in your woman is her easiness there is something wrong with you. i.e. you are lazy.

    And considering how salty you sound in your comment, it's pretty clear that saltiness is not the exclusive domain of Black women or women in general.

    I'm not judging the relationship. It's not my place to do so. I'm not "worrying about them", I am plenty "good enough for [my]syelf" and please believe I'm not waiting around for a man to think I'm amazing because I already know I am.

    Oh and welcome. Thanks for commenting.

  • @Justadonis20 says:

    I think they will be fine… If he pick her over all those so called catches & this is a widespread phenomenon… if I was a so called interesting woman I would take notes

  • @Justadonis20 says:

    I'll concede but I don't completely agree… It's hard when you have a limited perspective…

  • @Justadonis20 says:

    I have to co-sign with Brother Sharpe… Drama-free is a critical piece of the relationship pie… I'm 22 years old, NYC… and I can see DRAMA on a woman's face b4 she make any moves… It is the main reason guys deal with hookers… We are not paying for the sex… We are paying her for PEACE OF MIND… Women Aspiring relationship take notes…

  • @Justadonis20 says:

    Making no assumptions… A simple lesson I learned in life… Keep Doing what works, Stop doing what doesn't… Goodnight

  • @Justadonis20 says:

    As a smart, Eclectic black male, I co-sign

  • @Justadonis20 says:

    Max-Logic

    Getting the right answers starts with asking the right questions… Let's assumed you ask him the right question in this case… He LIED… Game… Set… Match… It is no different then what alot of women do… You ask then what they want in a guy, they say smart, funny, stable, etc… And then they end up with a rough, unstable bad boy… The lesson I learned from both these examples is…

    People (esp. Women) SAY what they THINK & DO what they FEEL… 

    So with those type of people you have to watch their actions then ask questions…

    As far as homeslice above… I kinda felt like was a tinge of hate in this blog for the regular chick, but HE WAS REACHING… point blank… No race card… Nothing…

    Goodnight

  • maxfab says:

    I will agree with you on the fact that – somewhere along the line – he lied. Either he lied about the type of woman he wanted/needed or he lied about his reasons for being with Ms Regular. And that is the part of the story that irks me. I'm all for people doing them and making the choices that work for them…but you have to be honest about your shit.

  • Sageyk3 says:

    “…with ladyflowers drying up under the hot sun of celibacy”
    lol

    Yeah, you just sound bitter and she sounds fun. I’ve dated smart women & regulah chicks. The biggest difference is that the smarties were always a headache. A pretentious, self-importing, overly empowered, righteous & indignant overly reflexive & reactive blob of insecurity.
    The regulah ones were always so refreshing & so much more fun. It never turned into a battle of intellects because there was only one chef in the kitchen. One set of recipes & everybody took turns with the need to be a diva or put a foot down. The compromises flowed liked water. If I hadn’t helped them in their personal lives, we’d still be together. I just wasn’t leaving my degree for their careers. The smarty arties were told to kick rocks and make someone else’s life miserable….nobody can be happy with so much conflict.

    but yeah, y’all sound bittah…take a lesson instead of being critical… intellect only means so much.

  • Sageyk3 says:

    so, I read every comment after I realized this was a year and a half published.
    I’ll maintain that y’all seem jelly but I could understand the confusion.
    Most important thing is that he is happy.

    Question: is he not allowed to change his mind or realize late in the game what it truly takes to satisfy him?
    I could see him being indirectly defensive to keep his dear friends from sharking all over his new boo…. I wonder if she is still around.

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  • [...] 2. The Great Guy and the Regular Chick [...]

  • [...] qualities she possesses. This is the phenomenon that allowed Flipper to get with Angie or the great guy to get with the regular chick. So if you’re in a situation where a man is holding back from you because of something silly, [...]

  • [...] Both of the men with whom I went on these dates were new to me, and both of them could best be described as cornballs. You know the type – quiet, unassuming, don’t swear or get dirty, don’t dress particularly well…they’re just not flashy. There doesn’t seem to be anything particularly offensive or egregious about them, but it’s also hard to remember anything about them five minutes after they leave the room. To bring it back to a classic max-logic post, they’re just regular. [...]

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