Just nominate me please. You’ve heard the spiel enough times. So today I have a bone to pick with someone. Two people actually. One is whoever invented the Brazilian wax and the other is the big mouth who told men about it. Because ever since those two events occurred I’ve had men all up in [...]
Just nominate me please. You’ve heard the spiel enough times.
So today I have a bone to pick with someone. Two people actually. One is whoever invented the Brazilian wax and the other is the big mouth who told men about it. Because ever since those two events occurred I’ve had men all up in my garden and not in a good way.
Seems like every where I go, every man I talk to is professing his love of the bald poon. Or the landing strip – which is just stupid. What is the point of that strip? All of a sudden no one wants to see hair down there despite the fact that the good lord Himself saw fit to put it there.
Well I am here to say to you all that I am not doing it. And I’m giving you 5 reasons why.
5 Reasons I will not bald off my p*ssy:
1. That shit is expensive.
I’m a dougla girl and you know we come with more than our fair share of hair and the shit grows extra-fast. I can’t be running to the salon every week dropping $60 to remove something that has every right to be there! Why – because you saw it in a porno once and you think that’s cute? Try again.
2. It hurts!
My man – when was the last time you let someone spread a burning hot substance on your joint and then rip it off you? Just take a second and imagine it….and then try to dream up one good reason why I should pay money to have it done to me.
3. It’s itchy
Unless you are comfortable being with a woman who a) occasionally needs Bump-No-Way on her private parts and b) scratches that shit like a monkey at a gym, you might want to think twice before insisting on the landscaping…when the stuff starts to grow back it itches like a motherfcuker.
4. I am not 11 years old.
And I don’t want my vagina to look like I am. That’s all I’m gonna say about it really.
5. Take a look at your private parts and then ask me again.
99% of the men who love an empty forest have pure thickets going on inside their briefs. If that isn’t audacity I don’t know what is.
Now let me just say this – it’s not that I intend to leave the area wild and untamed. I groom myself. I trim and I spruce…the appropriate things can be found with no need for compass (© Nickerz). That’s really all I can do. And to the men out there who complain about getting hair stuck in their teeth let me remind you that I don’t really need your mouth to be down there anyway.
Who’s joining me on my crusade to bring back the bush?
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[...] one is the most shocking transformation and the most painful to admit. Back when I wroteLeave My Bush Alone I gave you a list of reasons why I would not be balding off my pussy any time soon, no matter what [...]
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New to the site (hello!) and I have to say I agree with everything you have just said. I don't see the point in being uncomfortable …don't need to have crop circles and arrows and for sale notices all around the area to be sexy…keep it neat and clean and trimmed…that's my motto
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I believe I've said this before on your blog, but getting lasered down there was the absolute best grooming decision I've ever made in my life. And I made it at a time when the area wasn't getting any love, so the fact that guys like it is just a bonus. Its so convenient, does not hurt, does not itch and is as permanent as you can get. I love my lasered lady parts!
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@Melissa I'm LMAO @ "lasered lady parts"! However, I need to investigate because it does sounds like a great investment
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1) I thought that "dougla" was a word that you made up in reference to your hair. i stand corrected! Look at you being all educational with your blog
2) I co-sign HARD on #4. I have zero desire to look pre-pubescent and if I man wants me to he gets serious o_O.
3) You got your numbers right!! *does victory dance in my seat*
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GIRL!!
you said it all..
i don't pop pills and find it bizarre that I'm taking tylenol before i go get a wax.. just to try and make sure that the pain might be reduced…
not only that, but you have to make sure that it's the right length to make sure the wax gets it.. not too short, not too long.. COME ON!!! iCan't deal!
i have more to say (you know i do..) but i gotta get back to bed.. this is bollocks!!
My recent post Arent your fingers tired!
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"Who's joining me on my crusade to bring back the bush?"
max,
you damn well know that I am…hell, for those who don't already know, bring back bush is the name of a post on my blog:
http://metanotherfrog.com/main-page/bring-back-bu…
I just don't get the obsession many men have with the brazilian wax–that shit just weirds me out. Please max, spread the word. There are men out there who like their women au-naturel (and they are not all Rastas either. Trust).
My recent post Guest Post- Topping From the Bottom
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I here you. #4 is one of the main reasons I'm not a fan of all that waxing…I'm into grown ass looking women!
My recent post Guest Post- Topping From the Bottom
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if you do wax, its the better alternative, imo. The convenience factor alone is worth it. You will never get caugt off guard and have to worry that you're not prepared….you're always ready! :p
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Oh shyt the numbers ARE correct!! Maxie im PROUD!!
Umm I like a lil hair.. I be feelin sussy hittin bald poon… like whos young niece is this?! lmaoo
I just dont want to take off panties and see A giraffe, elephants, and jackals frolicking in your playpen!
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When a colleague and I braced ourselves last year to get Brazilians (why go through trauma alone), I knew something might be wrong when I brought along Tylenol 3. Yes, I brought Codeine. For one week we were bracing myself for pain – it did not help that the memories of "that" scene in "40-Year-Old-Virgin" were on replay in my head.
It was a no go, probably a good thing for the esthetician who would have had an eye kicked out by purely errant leg. .
A very neatly groomed front lawn is what I sport, but Melissa's comment on painless lasering is now making me think I may want to go completelely slick, not really for a Mr., but (since there's not a Mr. right now) for my own "down"time.
Yup, this is probably more than I should be sharing before lunch.
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Welcome! And you and I see eye-to-eye on this. As long as it's neat I don't see what the problem is.
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I feel you on lasering, but like I said I'm a dougla girl and we are hairy. If I'm going to laser there are a lot of other more important parts of my body that need it more than my poon does. Bottom of the priority list!
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#4 to me is the most egregious part…no matter what good reason a man has for wanting a bald p*ssy, I've yet to be convinced that this is not borderline-pedophile behaviour.
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I remember that post well. A birthday present from you to me!
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Hahaha Streetzie I can count to 5! I'm ready for Grade 2!
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Fridays are for over-sharing!
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right. and i know there are issues with the laser and dark skin. but even if it's not permanent, it can reduce the amount of hair that grows back. and when it grows back, it's super fine. you can pull the hairs out with your fingers.
it wasn't top of my list either. i got my underarms done first, which was also the BEST decision. if i had more money, i'd do my legs. but legs are $$$$$$$$$$$.
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i recommend it! ok, it's not absolutely painless. at worst, it's like getting snapped by a little rubber band. a billion times less painful than waxing tho. and if you ice enough, you don't feel a thing!
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Ummm, I shave (too afraid of waxing thanks to the 40 Year-Old Virgin), but there is still a little hair. I always felt the exact same way as you and then my ex-husband expressed this desire. As I have always felt that you should be open to new things in order to please the SO, I took most of it off. It's just stayed that way out of convenience and I prefer it like that now. And… I'm done.
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how can nappy be sexy?
what nxt a porno parody of the color purple.
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go fuck a monkey or join civilization. planet of the apes
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**lifts head up from Sanen beautifully shaved crotch***
**reads this post***
"I'll be right back honey"
Shame Shame Shame. All of you. For supporting this post..
No matter how well you shave your hair down, its still nappy and unpermed. If you aint going to the hair salon for your pubes like you do for your head than you aint maintaining. Stop talking about how its natural, with all the weaves and lace fronts in the world havnen't we established that natural just isn't cutting it anymore. I want to see DETAIL.
You have to understand how much men enjoy seeing a women naked. You just gotta take off your partners clothes real slow rubbing every part of skin that you remove from cloth. Than you just ask them to walk… walk across the room. Enjoy the sight of movements and giggles. See how their confidence naked and blow away any runway model. Than you have to lay them down and visual explore the parts that stay hidden AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH HAIR!
If you want to talk about my private parts.. they are just an email away sister. Smooth. Trust me your clitoris will thank me later. Young Money/Cash Money. And I don't know about yall but when I get naked no matter how much hair I have on my body, I do not look like an 11 year old. Where yall titties at? jeez
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Waxing is honestly not that bad AT ALL. I only tried shaving once in my life and it was the worst ever (I only shaved a small patch). I use to to just use Nair all of the time but it came back within a few days. I finally got tired of the burns and annoyance from Nair that I tried waxing. I think it depends on who you go to and what type of wax they use. My waxer did not use the cloth strips and was quick and professional. Yes it hurt but it was a temporary pain, like when you get your eyebrows waxed. I was hair free for a good two-three weeks, opposed to a few days! It's worth investment but you should get good recommendations from others or just try out a simple bikini wax to see the results!
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i just can't….i shaved it all off one time and i feel like my whole persona reverted to childhood before i got my period…(and I have immense size G boobies and they didn't help) and then when it started growing back i swore everybody was going to think i had crabs or something because i couldn't stop scratching…and i can't say if i had the money to get anything lasered i would spend it on getting THAT lasered…what if they miss and they hit the wrong spot and im permanently numb….or now i have different color skin patches and look like a bad ink blot test o_O….no thanks
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I prefer a basket full of bald kittens! I have been getting Brazilians for years. When I let the bush grow I feel…unkempt. Although, I have one horror story. I was getting waxed by my usual girl(we were quite comfortable with one another) as I lay face down on her table with my butt-cheeks spread apart, she spread the hot wax and then told me a joke. I laughed and let go of my cheeks….so they were stuck together by hot wax. It was painfulto pry them apart but we laughed hysterically about it and I still get my kitty waxed. I don't like hairy men either. I like my men to be like a hairless cat.
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A head full of bush, is not sexy. This isn't the 70's. You don't have to shave or laser it bald but at least trim it. No man wants to coughing up hair balls.
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