If you're a longtime or dedicated reader of mine you know that I am a throwback girl. I'm that handwash your dirty draws, Cater to You is my theme song, wake up at 3:00am to cook for you, Stepford Wife kinda chick who also knows how to get freaky in the bedroom. Remember a few years back when that excerpt from a 1950's Home Ec textbook about how to keep your husband happy was circling the internets? I'm the only woman you know who read that and said, "f*cking right!".
As you can imagine, part and parcel of this way of life is being a total girly-girl; which I am potty mouth notwithstanding. I like to dress nicely and wear makeup and I don’t like getting dirty. I don’t play sports and I don’t believe I was put on earth to plunge toilets or take out the garbage so I call my ex over when it needs to be done.
That being said, there are certain “man moves” that, when undertaken successfully by a woman, are hella sexy. So I advise all my female readers to master them posthaste to give you that extra leg up in the dating wars. These are your trump cards that you keep close to your vest…then when the time is right you whip them out and lay them on his ass and then quickly revert to your girly girl self, leaving him staring dumbfounded and with a gigantic hard-on.
Sidebar: This post was inspired by a Twitter conversation between my e-girls MsEsquire77 and Nick_L_Odeon…the list is a modified version of MsEsquire’s. Thanks ladies! Ready? Okay!
Manly Moves that are a Good Look on a Girl
1. Play a good game of poker/dominoes/chess/All Fours etc.
There is a school of thought that women are not good at games that involve strategy because we lack a logical mind. Now many women disagree with that but they are wrong and will argue to the death with any man who gives voice to this theory. That is not the right way to prove your point ladies. The right way to show off your logical mind is to master a logical game like any of the above, innocently ask to join him the next time he’s playing with the boys, and then kick all their asses.
Bonus: This is a brilliant strategy because it will let you know definitively what kind of man you are dealing with. A panty meat will be emasculated by your victory and will lash out at you in a childish and hurtful way to punish you for embarassing him. A good dude will be impressed. And turned on.
Max can you do this? I never really learned how to play poker or chess but I’m pretty good at dominoes and I will hang your Jack in All-Fours. Or I will Euchre you, for my non-Trini readers.
2. Shoot pool without looking like an idiot.
This could have been included with #1, but I kept it separate because it has one key difference – the physical aspect. See a lot of girls suggest pool as a date activity because they know they suck and they know the man will feel compelled to coach them. And that said coaching involves the man pressing up close behind her to show her how to hold the cue properly. Therefore, if you’re going on a pool date, chances are the dude is expecting to be pressed up on your backside before the night is through. Imagine his surprise when he realizes that won’t be necessary. And we all know the element of surprise is key in keeping a man’s attention, right?
Bonus points: If you’re actually good enough at pool to beat him.
Max can you do this? Sadly, no. Although we had a pool table in my house when I was growing up and I know how to play, my lack of hand-eye coordination makes getting the balls in the hole a big challenge.
4. Fix your car
Now I’m not suggesting that you jack your sh*t up and change your own transmission because really, what man knows how to do that these days? But if you are a woman (such as myself) who can select and replenish all the necessary fluids in her car, you’re good. If you can replace your own wiper blades, you’re better. And if you can change your own oil, you’re golden.
Bonus points: Wear some Daisy Dukes while you’re doing this a la Dukes of Hazard and see if you don’t own your man for life after this.
Max can you do this? All my adult life I thought I was the dopest woman in the world because I know how to do an oil change, but then Ms. Nick_L_Odeon had to shame me by tweeting about changing her breaks and now I must concede my title to her. Bitch
5. Drive stick
I once asked a man what’s so sexy about a woman driving a stick. He said “I don’t know…I just look at her and I think drive that car girl!” Maybe not the best explanation ever, but every man I know is turned on by a woman who can drive standard and none has ever explained it better than that. I’m guessing it has something to do with watching you handle that shaft and imagining you handling his shaft…
Bonus points: None. But you really don’t need them here.
Max can you do this? Effing right I can!
Ladies, what do you think? Can you do any of this stuff? Have you found that it impresses men when you do? And my men – are you turned on by a woman who can do these things?
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Great post, Max! I realized a while ago that I'm fairly independent but I still have a few things that I go damsel-in-distress about (ex: car repair) and that I'm just not good at (ex: sports). I can't be great at everything (I'm an excellent baker and keep an oh-so-clean house!) but I do need to step-up my game in a number of areas.
To do list for this summer: investigate an auto repair class, find somebody with a stick, spend some QT at a pool hall and elbow my way into a poker game…post haste!
P.S: This is the 3rd blog post I've inspired this month! Gotta love Twitter
Maybe you should become a professional muse!
max, there's no #3 in your list.
i've found that anything car related can impress a guy. i'm a really good driver…as in, i can parallel park like nobody's business, i have an excellent sense of direction and i'm aggressive. in hs/university, all my friend's boyfriends would let me drive their cars and not their gfs because i "drive like a guy."
also, knowing the words to hiphop songs. i'm not a hiphop head at all and i certainly don't look like one, but there are certain songs that i just know. its so amusing to bust them out and see the reaction on guys' faces. so funny.
Hahaha I love that I proof-read this a billion times and never caught on that there is no #3.
You brought up two good ones that I forgot! I'm not the greatest driver but I am an amazing parallel parker. And most girls suck at that.
And as an encyclopedia of hip hop lyrics I of all people know that you can stop a man in his tracks by rhyming along to a song he would never expect you to know.
Co-sign on the knowing of hiphop songs…also knowing when they came out…for some reason being a hip hop history buff turns guys on
You're right. Actually knowing anything about hip hop is a good thing….until you know something they don't know, or tell them they're wrong about something. Then it's trouble.
Great list…sadly my IQ goes out the door when it comes to car repairs…but I have a good knowledge of all the other items on your list.
One thing I might add is knowing a bit about sports – don't get me wrong – you don't have to actually participate in sports…but knowing the difference between a leftback and a cornerback ranks high on many a man's list!
I thought about adding that….but I didn't know if sports could really be considered a "man thing" anymore…judging from the amount of women tweeting about basketball, football, and soccer in my timeline that's an equal-opportunity interest now.
good list. I can't play pool, but I'm very good with strategy games, and I know all the basics about my car. I'm knowledgeable about much more- re: cars–we had a family mechanic, and my stepdad can fix anything–or try so I know a lot-but I'm too girly girl to get down with the get down. LOL. I wish I could drive stick (pause) but I never learned as I had a hard enough time learning to drive automatic, lmao.
Very true – I think many women have stepped up their game in that regard, and as a female who loves sports, it's definitely not a "man thing".
But there is a difference between knowing the game and simply jumping on the bandwagon….if I asked all the women on my timeline or simply friends who tweeted or facebooked about the NBA Finals – who was the Celtics starting line-up…or for those who claim to watch FIFA – what offside means– they wouldn’t have a clue!
LOL!
I like having little things tucked into my pocket that people don't expect. It adds some independence and it does keep people on their toes. I've always liked working with my hands though, so it's not hard.
I find that men usually do the"good side-eye" when I tell them "I was draining a clog under the sink" rather than, "I went shopping" It gives me an ego-boost.
I suggest AT LEAST getting into a video game. It doesn't have to be Madden, but some simple racing game will do the trick. The fact that a woman can talk trash (and back it up) at something that he likes to do will get you IN!
On the flip side though, since I'm always at the basketball court, and don't have many opportunities to go out, then the fellas ONLY think that i wear jeans and tank tops.. It needs to be balanced.
Great Post Max
"getting the balls in the hole a big challenge. "
that is what she said….
But anyway. Great post. I love nothing more than a chick with some personality and character. Cool points go along way in determining a wifey, b/c lets face it… you get sick of people.
Good taste in music always gets points. But outside of knowing some Drake lyrics, if you are into the scene and are into finding undiscovered artist. A girl with some Donnis in her ipod gets points (but no lil B).
Beating me at a game is cool. But teaming up and beating my boys proves to me that our relationship is on a deeper level. My boy and his ex had a horrible breakup, but every BBQ they would get together to dominate the spades table. Makes me believe they are still meant to be.
Other cool points are rewarded if you hate things that we hate… like shopping and the lifetime network. You should like actions movies and manly dogs like pitbulls and bulldogs.
and overall just being less of an emotional girl even if you are a girly girl.
HA!! This is list is too much.
I learned that if you step out of that girly-girl box occassionally they will swoon! Ex. when I drive he loves it, when I ask him about scores from any of the world cup matches he loves it and whenever I beat him in dominoes he loves it…but he also loves when he can still instruct and take charge ex. If I am driving, he likes to say turn here, speed up, slow down, "go-over" etc. and when playing dominoes, he likes to give rules and tips throughout…Men….you gotta love them.
-PKGM
See CHeeKZy, a lot of your comment here is contradicting your comments the other day. #justsayin.
yesss. me and the babe teamed up and beat his boys in Spades recently. that was a good feeling…
This is a BOSS list. I once dated a girl that showed up to a family event and wanted to get in on some dominoes with me, my cousins and an uncle. We (really me) decided we should play cut throat b/c we (again, really me) didn't think she'd have the skills to keep up. End result–she smoked us. Hottest. Thing. Ever. Best believe she got a workout that night.
Sane was be dead to right. But in my defense. I did say my ideal girl that I map out in my mind would be different from the girl I am with now or that might end up being best for me.
I think even the maximum girly girl can learn spades, and hate lifetime.
Hip hop is hard though. It does go against exactly what I said. But I'll put the 2pac card and say life is a contradiction. While my current so doesn't know jack and our relationship strives with that space. Just the other day I met this girl who I didn't find attractive. Than I started talking to her and found out she was a roots fan and liked the boondocks. Than I thought "one night stand and don't tell anybody."
Why thank you Mr. Sharpe. I was anxiously awaiting your comment to see whether this list was on point or one of those things women care about but men do not….like matching your nail polish with your shoes.
This list >>>
I can't drive stick #PauseAgainGrandad and thatrs a shame coming from a Caribbean family…lol
I will say the strategy game and music tastes are a great turn-on! Also not being completely helpless or willing to learn is a great trait too.
For some strange reason I find driving stick easier than automatic. Maybe because I like it better?
Oooh draining a clog that's a good one. All I know is to pour baking soda and vinegar down the drain and hope for the best!
This brings up an interesting point….I find I know a lot of men who rate a girl highly when she loves sports or hip hop, but the ones they wife never do. Whereas I could never be with a dude who doesn't love hip hop.
I think there's a blog post in that somewhere…
I need to learn Spades!
Yes you do. They are so wonderfully complex…and yet so simple.
I think not being helpless is a double-edged sword though….it's works in a woman's favour in small doses but if she's too not-helpless it backfires, I think.
basically
a woman who can play chess? what? i love it. chess is a timeless game that transcends race, social and economic status. it requires much thinking and strategy.
a woman who can talk music with me (without sounding like she just listens to the radio) is such a turn on. i love music. all types. i listen to everything from gucci mane to kidz in the hall to fall out boy.
i don't really think a woman changing oil, fixing breaks, etc. is sexy. it's convenient if anything. sexy? nope. seeing a woman covered in dirt or oil does nothing for me. *shrug*
sidebar: for some reason your site doesn't work at my school. it's not blocked but it just doesn't load. i never get a chance to participate in the conversation during the day.
My recent post Perfect Decision
I still am trying to figure out what #3 is…
I would just add to the list, the ability to get up and go. As I said in my post last week, the most frustrating part of relationships is the amount of time you spend waiting on your lady. It's like a man appreciates a woman who can get ready in 5 minutes, not 30. If a man can prevent being late, then he does so, so when he's trying to make the reservations by 705 and it's 700, he may walk extremely fast to the restaurant from the car, slow walking or claiming that your feet hurt, is annoying as hell.
I am emotionally retarded… how's that for a man-move? Could I make that sexy?
Dammit. I don’t know how to do any of these things…