In the comments of my post about busy dudes, my buddy Dr. J advised getting in the path of destruction when dealing with an overstimulated man. I wished for a guest post on the subject and like the fairy godblogger he is, he promptly delivered it. This is why I heart him and you should too.
With men being at a premium in the world today, most men aren’t making it easy for women to get at them. The men that most women want are busy, successful, and not trying to chase every skirt they can get their hands on. So how does a woman get a guy who seems too busy for romance?
Let me start by backing up for a moment and explaining something to the reader. A man who is busy spends his free time letting loose. A lot of people expect a man who is busy to spend his free time with his significant other. This negates the fact that he probably wants to have time to himself, hang out with friends, and get wasted when he’s not working. Women don’t seem to understand this. Short-sightedness.
Nonetheless a good man is hard to find, and more frustrating than trying to find a good man, is finding one you can’t have. Women always want to know where men are, I’d argue that they know exactly where men are they just can’t hook him. I’ve always thought of relationships like this, if you want some water, why not go to the well? If you want some milk, why not go to the cow? A lot of people are waiting for a Deer Park truck to show up at their doorstep and deliver them a man, but it would be so much easier if they’d just go get the man.
So women, start in the following places when looking for a man: the gym, local happy hour lounge, metro and Starbucks. Why? Because these are places that men hang out at. You may be worried about sweating your hair out, but just wash and set it once you get home and you’ll have a fresh hairdo and a man. A lot of women claim they don’t meet men in the club… but you’re single. Something’s not adding up. If you see a guy who catches your eye, why not find a way to get in his path of destruction? And if that place is a club, then I’d recommend you start frequenting that club a lot more than you currently do. If you notice that the guy you want goes to Cosi everyday for lunch at noon, why not be in Cosi everyday at noon?
I heard this story about a guy who found his wife by standing on a corner he had seen her walk past once for two months. He would plop himself down on the sidewalk every day at lunch for an hour and just wait for her to walk by. He didn’t know that she was only in that part of town to run an errand. But you know what? One day she had to run that errand again and he was able to meet her. They were married for over 50 years.
Some women are worried about seeming desperate or thirsty. One of the most frequent pieces of advice I ever give is that people should stop worrying what people think about their love life. At the end of the day, the opinions of people who you aren’t sleeping with will keep you single and alone. If you want to have a man in your life and you’ve identified who you’d like to find that vacancy, get in his path of destruction. You might seem desperate but it’s only short term because soon you will look and be satisfied and all those who judged you will be still single. They will be the same ones sitting around at a happy hour spot with all women talking about how men ain’t skit.
#kanyeshrug on this post. I’m just trying to keep it real and give the best advice I can give. In other news, it seems that you are in great health, Dr. J thinks you’ve been doing a great job lately. In short, “You’re beautiful. If no one else told you that today, let me be the one.”
So ladies, what do you think of Dr. J’s strategy? Do you hunt your prey in his natural habitat or wait for him to find you? Men do you rate this strategy?
And don’t forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.