It's that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) by nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here.
Lately I’ve had the strangest feeling been getting a lot of offline questions from readers about threesomes. I don’t know if it’s the warm weather or what, but it seems that suddenly a whole lot of dudes have started asking/pressurizing their girls into bringing a third into the bedroom. When I get these questions I always say “Watch the movie Trois. That’s the worst thing that could happen. If you’re still interested, get back to me.”
Well I don’t really say that. But I want to.
Anyway I realized that it’s not something we’ve talked much about over here and it’s about time I threw it out there. Here’s my take on three ways you can have some three-way secksy time and whether you should be attempting it.
1. The classic threesome
I’ve done this. This is pretty much what everyone has in mind when they’re thinking about three-way sex. And whether this is two men and a woman or two woman and a man, it’s not a move for the faint of heart. Bringing a third body into the bedroom is more than likely going to bring out everyone’s insecurities. But if you insist on poking at the dragon, here are my tips:
Ladies: Campaign strenuously for the mmf type of three-way. That’s two dudes and you…and what could be better than that? Good luck getting your man to agree with it though. But I caution you – if you are in any way insecure; about your body, your relationship, your RRSP balance, your man’s sexuality, skip this please.
Men: Watch how hard you work for this because if you push it too much, your girl is going to get suspicious. Wanting a little variety is one thing, trying to find a legal way to f*ck another girl is something else. Also my dear men, most women do not want to have threesomes with their sisters or best friends and bringing it up makes you look like a pig. So please stop that. Third – if you are lucky enough to get the authorization to bring in another girl, make sure she’s not hotter than wifey. Trust me on this one.
2. Two f*cking, one watching
I’ve done this. This is what I call three-way 101 and it’s what I recommend to the ladies who ask me if they should go for a threesome. If you can handle watching your partner f*ck someone else or being watched while you get it on without hating your life afterward you’re probably ready to proceed to the big time. If you find yourself wishing that your spectator was an active participant, you’re probably going to really enjoy your threesome.
3. Three-way phone sex
I’ve done this. The logistics of this kinda make my head spin but I threw it in here because I know it happens. This is probably a good one if you’re a frequent traveller, frequent participant of phone sex, or you have many partners because it’s multi-tasking in the extreme.
What’s your stance on threesomes, my friends? Three’s a crowd or thrice as nice? Give me your thoughts in the comments.
And don’t forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.
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i've never had a threesome. would i have a threesome? of course i would. could it be with a woman that i cared about? i don't know. the third woman definitely couldn't be someone that i would see on a consistent basis. i wouldn't even think about doing MMF. it would have to be FMF all day.
3 way phone sex? never thought about that one.
two f*cking and one watching. wait. i think i might have had a threesome after all. i guess i haven't had a classic threesome.
Three way sex is best when its casual sex and not part of 'relationship sex'. You got to admit though, the chances of three way sex happening casually is probably less likely.
What about swinger sex?
TOday is a good day…lol
Threesomes are like the unicorns all men sought after. Two women will blow a dudes mind. If you get that, hats off. Dont think I could do it with a GF or Wife though. Too many a pandoras box can be opened
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q
This is my kind of topic. I don't know how people can just rule out 3ways. It one is good, more is better.
I was talking to a couple of my boys and they said "if you truly love a girl, you wouldn't to share her with ANYBODY. I disagreed and they called me a pervert. I don't want paynus near my boo (b/c I'm not kissing a spot that was rubbed by another paynus that is beyond ghaye). But with a non long term chick, plenty has been shared between me and the team. You are not really boys until you work as a unit #seewhatIdidthere. Clearly I am not turning down one on one chances for a shot at seeing my man's knob. But anyway you look @ it, its hot. Getting pleased while watching the person pleasing you get pleasured.
Max you down to Feed the Wolves?
and why do you fear insecurites. I would think having to hard black men from just one you would make you feel good about yourself. More of an issue would be your ability to do two things at once. You would be surprise how many girl struggle to take pipe and bob their head.
I'm sure y'all know. ever 68 + 1 and the girl can't focus?
And Max if you have any stories about some DL activity happening to you during a 'scandal' as your fav reader I demand you share it. I swear Max is the coolest…
I think the ideal threesome combo for me would be me + a man I trust + a semi-random man or woman.
Couldn't do it with my man and a friend. Couldn't do it with two randoms.
Three way phone sex is just silly to me.
Swinger sex is gonna have to be a future "nasty friday" post!
If I were a man, I would never do a threesome with my wifey. I feel like that's just asking for unnecessary arguments and cross-questioning.
I need you guys to explain to me the correlation between this song and threesomes. I googled the lyrics, I watched the video and I still don't get it!
I totally feel your take on it. I think threesomes are hot as long as I don't have to deal with any fallout.
I actually still have my threesome cherry but when it pops I will definitely share with you CHeeKZ!
Two dudes 1 chick is not a threesome… that's a triz. In college it's a necessary evil that should be avoided, after college, it's only acceptable if you somehow find yourself at NBA All Star weekend. If you're a woman, and you have not engaged 2 men at once, but are considering it… please note, 80% of men interested in getting married will think twice about marrying a woman who has, admittedly, been trizzed. If you have been trizzed and are reading this, please keep this statistic in mind when you start sharing your past with the man you hope will eventually put a ring on it.
Two chicks 1 dude is like the Mt. Everest of s_xual adventure. Its the conquest that seperates the profesionals from the weekend warriors. It's the 40/40 club (#NoHov). I wouldn't advise it be done with an S/O.
Sidebar – you should do a follow up post on this that addresses Prophylactic Etiquette when a man engages 2 women.
Strictly for live men, not for freshman.
Stay Thirsty My Friends
And just like that, my desire to participate in a triz has flown out the window.
If you didn't teach me the bra-removal stuff today I would be mad at you for crushing my dreams.
Prophylactic Etiquette post is officially on deck.
Also, it's funny you bring this up today. The latest issue of Esquire came in the mail last week, but just got around to reading it today. The s_xual advice column had a reader write in stating that he and his S/O had decided to try a threesome… you should check it out.
Its not that deep. We are talking about threesomes. There is good weather here in NY (where me and streetz both reside), the world cup started today.
Today is a good day.
People keep saying mff shouldn't be done with an SO. WHY? There are Bi SO out there who are down for this. I need one in my life..
Why settle for an SO that doesn't eat kitty when you can have one that helps you bag chicks? We are setting our ceilings to low as black men. If we put more pressure on our women to be Bi, I bet we would get better results.
My first comment echoes what's been mentioned: have fun, be discreet, be safe.
Anonymity allows me to share that I've been a participant in #1 and 2 after a FWB brought up a MMF. It took some comtemplation (a long detailed Pro/Con list) but because I trusted both, it was fun, hot and sublime. If it's to work without "fallout", trust and camraderie are key.
With regards to all sorts of multi-person fun, the woman should ensure that this is an avenue she really wants to go down. Dive in because you want to. Doing this to solely please him will backfire: self-doubt kills the fun. If you won't eat certain foods to simply earn favour, then you shouldn't agree to eat anything else for the same reason. Similarly, if you are the spectator, be prepared to watch. Averting your eyes is poor form . . .
. . .Still, I agree with the comment on being careful to whom you share this information with – it will turn some people off. I asked a friend this yesterday – he's been in an open marriage for 15 yrs. His comment: generally, you can tell from a partner's stances on similar issues whether or not they're into this. If their interest is nill, but you salivate at the idea, there's a definite potential problem.
So, to pursue this with a trusted playmate is good in my books, but to bring this up with someone with long-term potential? Sigh. I guess I need someone who's openminded in politics, religion, and sex.
And (wry smile) that is my own unicorn to find.
it seems as tho all the guys are commenting on this one.
i have no real interest in a 3some, either option. being with 2 men would be intimidating, and i don't want to be with a woman. nor would i want to see the man i'm with another woman. and i don't do randoms, soooo….that's not in the cards.
i can deal with being watched, but more so in an accidental setting as opposed to a setup setting.
threeway phone sex, as in a conference call? haha…that's weird and i've never heard of that.
but i have been on the phone while getting busy (but intentionally and unintentionally) and that can be fun.
i'm not sure this is on my menu in this lifetime..
it's not that i'm not adventurous.. but it's just that i don't want to compete with ANYTHING,(anyone) when it comes time for you to get my best.. it's "eyes on me, hands on me.. lips on me".. yeah, i'm that broad..
no one's ever approached that with me.. i guess it's becoming more common nowadays.. my last relationship was in my 20's and no one talked about that then.. in my 30's, i don't know how i'd handle it if my dude brought this up..
i'm not insecure (about much) but i feel you on the whole "she can't look better than me" part.. cuz that's a whole different level right there..
I think it was just in reference to Streetz saying "today is a good day"
If I was in a another country and would never have to see either one again, I would def do MMF à la
Y tu mamá también. I would take that to my grave or maybe I could confess to it on my death bed.
Members of the sexual elite can get it any way they like. It’s the reality of the world.
Great post!
http://kissingup2.blogspot.com/#!/2011/12/sexual-elite.html
http://kissingup2.blogspot.com/#!/2011/12/three-ways-and-swinging.html
i like your advice but i still dont under stand what i should do because my boyfriend wants to know if i would have sex with him and his guy friend but i dont get how i would be able to do two guys at once