The Complexities of Dealing with a Busy Dude
It’s that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) by nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here. In the battlefield of dating, busy dudes are a single [...]
It’s that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) by nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here.
In the battlefield of dating, busy dudes are a single woman’s land mine: invisible to the naked eye, unpredictable, and liable to blow up in your face. And therefore, probably better off avoided.
Sadly, in life – as in war – the only foolproof way to avoid injury is to skip the battle altogether; and that’s no fun is it? The key instead is to have some kind of battle plan in place to minimize the damage. But I’ll get into that in a minute.
Since the unofficial motto of this blog is “know thine enemy”, let’s take a moment to examine our adversary. The busy dude comes in three types:
1. The Busy Professional
This guy has a job that you’re expected to be impressed by; entertainment, sports, politics, and media are filled with these assholes dudes. His work requires him to keep irregular hours, always be on the phone, become unavailable at the last minute, and be around a lot of women.
His MO: He bemoans his busy-ness as something he hates but can’t avoid. You’ll feel sorry for him and be extra-understanding.
2. The Busy Father
This guy has a regular schedule, but he also has kids to whom he is devoted. Which is charming and admirable. He usually has a contentious relationship with the “crazy” mother of his children.
His MO: He’ll tell you right from jump that spending time with his children is his first priority; you won’t mind because that’s as it should be. The first time he plays the daddy card has to cancel plans because of his kids he’ll be extra-apologetic. The 2nd-100th time, not so much.
3. The Temporarily Busy Dude
For the most part this dude has a normal job and a normal life, but every once and while something pops up in his schedule that causes him to vanish into thin air. Just as you’re getting ready to move on with your life, he’ll reappear and have all the time in the world for you.
His MO: You won’t know you’re dealing with this dude until he’s gone. Everything will start out hunky dory and then he’ll suddenly stop calling. Usually after you’ve slept with him the first time. This dude doesn’t want to call you unless he has time to have a long conversation with you, so expect long silences broken up with bursts of him being all up in your crotches.
What all these dudes have in common is the one thing every girl’s a sucker for: passion. Listen to busy professional talk about his latest project and you’ll swoon at the thought of him being so devoted to you. Let busy dad show you pictures of his kids and you’ll imagine the light that is shining in his eyes directed at you. And since temporarily busy dude’s disappearances are usually caused because he was helping someone in need; you’ll be charmed by his dedication to the ones he loves.
Now whether these dudes are legitimately busy or just pulling the ultimate #swindle, to deal with the busy man a gal needs a game plan. And since I just love telling you what to do, here is yours:
1. Set boundaries.
Real boundaries, ladies, not the kind you pretend to have when you’re talking to your girls but forget all about when he’s cheesing in your face. A certain amount of understanding is required when dealing with these types, but don’t let him run all over you.
2. Know when you’re beaten
A busy man is not for everyone. I rate these dudes because I like my space; but the average woman cannot deal gracefully with this type. If you’re the type to make a scene every time your man’s schedule gets in the way of your plans, you might want to skip the busy dude.
3. Remember this: he is not Barack Obama
There is only one man in the world is truly so busy that he cannot find time to contact you and that is Barack Obama. If you’re not getting so much as a three-word text message at least once a week, throw that fish back honey. He’s a dud.
That’s my take on busy dudes…what’s yours? Ladies how do you deal with this type? Men, tell us – is busy just a #swindle or do these guys have a legitimate issue?
And don’t forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.