It’s that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here.
While I’m not one for making big long lists of must-have’s and must-be’s in my potential mates, there are certain attributes that are either gonna get a man disqualified right out of the gate, or earn him a gigantic O__o. I’m too tired to do much more of a preamble, so let’s get to it.
7 Dudes that I might not date:
1. A dude who has the same first name as my ex.
Although this renders the gazillions of men in the world named Mike completely useless to me, I just can’t with this name. It’s too creepy. I also wouldn’t want to date a dude with the same first name as my father. I would however, really like to date a man named Max. I think that would be a tonne of fun.
2. An undertaker
I’m sorry, I know it’s honest work, but no. Just – no. It’s icky! A garbage man, yes. An undertaker – nope. And you know who’s another no? An insurance claims adjuster. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Oh and lobbyists – they must be annoying as shit.
3. Formerly gay dudes
While I could probably get past a man who had a gaycurious moment once or had to do what he had to do while he was locked up; I don’t think I could deal with a “reformed homosexual”. If that isn’t side-eye worthy I don’t know what is.
4. The dude who once hit a girlfriend
Sorry Chris Brown. I’m not a fan of bad tempers, so I’m gonna have to take a pause for the cause before I bed down with this dude. Not necessarily because I think that once a hitter always a hitter, but more because dudes who hit probably also yell and you all know how I feel about yelling.
5. He who sleeps with prostitutes
I have no real issue with prositution, but I just don’t rate a dude that has to sleep with a hooker. There’s nothing a man can get from a professional that he can’t get from an amateur if his game is right.
6. Heroic Dudes
While I recognize the carnal appeal of a police officer or a firefighter; I don’t think I can date a dude with a job like that. Staying up nights gnashing my teeth wondering if he’s shot up in an alley or burned to a crisp somewhere is really gonna eff up my beauty sleep.
7. A dude who has been in jail
This one kinda depends on what he was in jail for…but not really. I think I can overlook most offenses if the dude is hot enough depending on the circumstances. But it’s one of those things that make people think you have bad judgment if you don’t put it on your list and that’s why it’s on here.
So that’s my list…what about you guys? What kind of guys/gals will make you take a pause before you jump in?
And don’t forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.
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