7 Dudes I Might Not Date

It’s that time of year again. Nominations for the Black Weblog Awards have started and I would really like one. So show how much you love me (and I know you do) nominating me. You can get all the details and sh*t over here.

While I’m not one for making big long lists of must-have’s and must-be’s in my potential mates, there are certain attributes that are either gonna get a man disqualified right out of the gate, or earn him a gigantic O__o. I’m too tired to do much more of a preamble, so let’s get to it.

7 Dudes that I might not date:
1. A dude who has the same first name as my ex.

Although this renders the gazillions of men in the world named Mike completely useless to me, I just can’t with this name. It’s too creepy. I also wouldn’t want to date a dude with the same first name as my father. I would however, really like to date a man named Max. I think that would be a tonne of fun.

2. An undertaker

I’m sorry, I know it’s honest work, but no. Just – no. It’s icky! A garbage man, yes. An undertaker – nope. And you know who’s another no? An insurance claims adjuster. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. Oh and lobbyists – they must be annoying as shit.

3. Formerly gay dudes

While I could probably get past a man who had a gaycurious moment once or had to do what he had to do while he was locked up; I don’t think I could deal with a “reformed homosexual”. If that isn’t side-eye worthy I don’t know what is.

4. The dude who once hit a girlfriend

Sorry Chris Brown. I’m not a fan of bad tempers, so I’m gonna have to take a pause for the cause before I bed down with this dude. Not necessarily because I think that once a hitter always a hitter, but more because dudes who hit probably also yell and you all know how I feel about yelling.

5. He who sleeps with prostitutes

I have no real issue with prositution, but I just don’t rate a dude that has to sleep with a hooker. There’s nothing a man can get from a professional that he can’t get from an amateur if his game is right.

6. Heroic Dudes

While I recognize the carnal appeal of a police officer or a firefighter; I don’t think I can date a dude with a job like that. Staying up nights gnashing my teeth wondering if he’s shot up in an alley or burned to a crisp somewhere is really gonna eff up my beauty sleep.

7. A dude who has been in jail

This one kinda depends on what he was in jail for…but not really. I think I can overlook most offenses if the dude is hot enough depending on the circumstances. But it’s one of those things that make people think you have bad judgment if you don’t put it on your list and that’s why it’s on here.

So that’s my list…what about you guys? What kind of guys/gals will make you take a pause before you jump in?

And don’t forget the nominations for the Black Weblog Awards! Easy instructions are right here.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 19

  1. __melissa says:

    hahaa….what a random list! I agree with the name thing tho. I once had the biggest crush on this guy named kevin but felt weird about it cuz that's my brothers name. Never really thought about my dad thobut probably cuz I've never been into a guy with his name nor do I call my dad by his name. I suspect it would be just as weird tho. :p

  2. Dr. J says:

    I'm going to give you one that a few women have taught me along the way, silly but true:

    A man who wears the same cologne as your ex. Men should always be careful about wearing popular colognes because smell is the sense that stays with you for life. If her ex was a dirtbag or a really great guy who broke her heart. She can't stand the smell of you.

  3. emti says:

    I think the undertaker one depends on if it was his life dream or he just fell into the profession…call me judgemental but i gotta give a side-eye to someone who always wanted to be an undertaker when he grew up.

    I agree with Dr. J on the cologne…scents can give you good memories or really really bad ones.

  4. emti says:

    oh and the 'been to jail' thing also depends on the circumstance…there are certain things that society frowns on that i'll overlook…but if it was for a cold blooded murder i'll have to pass…then again your ass wouldn't be out of jail anyway

  5. HLBB says:

    An uneducated dude.

    I've tried repeatedly to date a guy who can't properly form a sentence, and I can't do it again. Education doesn't mean that you have a masters (or even an undergrad), but you have to read something more than the Metro, be aware of the world outside your city, be able to have a discussion on a topic and be able to debate, not shout your position…

    If the way to a man's heart is through his penis (I think you've said that before Max), then the way to my heart (and other things) is through my brain.

  6. MadScientist7 says:

    lol. i don't think anyone would blame you for not wanting to date any of these guys. except for the same name as an ex. what if the name is something common like john or steve?

  7. Sam Sharpe says:

    I totally agree with this one. I once dated a girl who referred to books as "shiterature". No joke. Thing is, she was a teacher.

    Great list max.

  8. maxfab says:

    you're LYING!

  9. maxfab says:

    My ex's name is Mike – doesn't get more common than that. But I can't do it. It's just too weird for me.

  10. maxfab says:

    Surprisingly this is not on my list. I should give you a really good explanation for why that is, but I'm too tired.

  11. maxfab says:

    I might rate a murderer depending on the circumstances of said murder.
    Plus if he was serving life that would make for a very tidy long-distance relationship. I can get down with that.

  12. maxfab says:

    This is a really good one. I don't want to smell Aqua di Gio on another man ever again!

  13. maxfab says:

    I know, it's weird that I don't call my dad by his name but I won't date a guy named Terry.
    On the other hand I have no problem calling a man Daddy.
    Dudes with my brothers' names are cool with me. That doesn't creep me out at all.

  14. Nick_L_Odeon says:

    i hear you on this one.. honestly, a dude can have me wanting to jump him just from the conversation.. and it has nothing to do with s*x conversation either.. i can't deal with a dude whose knowledge ends with the new Drake album.. i just can't..

  15. Streetz says:

    Clingy needy women with princess complexes… grown women need only apply. dealt with it once..im cool on that!

  16. SmartCat says:

    I'm late to reply but (tossing in 2 cents), here are a couple of add-ins:

    -Men who are unacceptably rude to servers/ waitstaff/ clerks. Poor service is unfortunate but tolerable. Uncalled for rudeness = poor manners = insufferable.

    -Men who are rude to their mothers.

    Be rude with me in the bedroom, but the way a man behaves in public speaks volumes…

  17. SmartCat says:

    Whoops! I forgot one:
    – The man who admits to a little bi "experimentation" (Cue sound of door closing)

  18. Andrienne says:

    Funny thing about the ex with the same name. My fiance has the same name as my last boyfriend, so when I talk about him to my friends it's always Old "bob' and New 'bob". It's tolerable because his actual name is different, even though no one calls him by it, except for me.

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