Fall for Your Type

If you asked me to articulate what my type is, I probably wouldn’t be able to do it.  At one time I would have said that tall men are my type, but after 3 relationships with 6’5″+ types, I’m off that. As you are well aware, I have a major thing for well-spoken types, but none of the men I’ve loved have been particularly articulate. And while manners are a huge thing for me, most of the men I’ve been with have been agonizingly discourteous.
Instead I seem to have a weakness for difficult men. Life-smart, rather than book-smart men. Men with encyclopedic knowledge of hip hop. Athletes or former athletes. Dapper men. Funny men. Leos. Intimidating men. Captain of the Football-team types (this is max-talk for uber-cool, highly sought-after, pussy falling out of his pocket types). This is the the type of man I usually fall for. Unfortunately, these dudes also tend to be conversation-averse. Trust-phobic. Selfish. Discourteous. Mind-fuckers and general assholes.
Such is life I guess. 
My friends are continually urging me to expand my horizons and date beyond my type. It’s a good strategy, I’m sure, but I haven’t had much success with it. There might be men out there who are more appropriate for a weirdo woman like me, but they just don’t have the za za zu. And what’s dating without that?
What about you guys? Do you have a type that you repeatedly fall for? Is it the right type for you? Share with me in the comments. 

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 23

  1. UppityBlackChic says:

    Max, my type is the charismatic shiny shoe mofo in a Hugo Boss/Tom ford suit. He's the tall, smart, corporate type that is making money, knows his career path, and has p*$$y invitations sent to his gmail daily. He knows how to converse and knows this is a mind f**k for me. Alas, because he has alot going for him he has the stain jacka$$ smeared all over him. And I constantly try to wipe it clean, but it's a stain that cannot be wiped off

  2. Tunde says:

    i definitely don't have a type. almost every woman that i've dated has been completely different in every way. some were taller, some were shorter. some were slim and some were thick. like you i do have a physical preference as far as women are concerned but i never end up with that type. if i were to stretch i could say that the majority of women that i've dated went to college and almost all of them were in a sorority.

  3. maxfab says:

    LOL I couldn't have said it better myself. Those types are the sexiest but the most unruly!
    iCan't with those dudes.

  4. maxfab says:

    No common personality traits?
    My dudes physically are all over the map but personality-wise they've been pretty similar; I feel like I've had the same relationship over and over.

  5. Anna N. says:

    My type? Funny, if I could run a little reel of the folks I've been with or dated you'd think I was Sybil. The only trend was "Not good for Anna". My fiance's type would be "Able to Tolerate and Good for Anna".

    For goodness sakes, let the pretty boys go. They will ALWAYS think of themselves before they give you and your needs a thought. Lookie Me's are a no-no.

  6. Sam Sharpe says:

    maxfab, let me apologize in advance for the following lengthy comment, it's just that this topic is something that I'm really, really fascinated by:

    I used to have types, but they usually failed to live up to my expectations, as a result I no longer believe in the idea of a type. Now, when I hear most people talking of types it sounds strange to me. It usually seems to entail someone endowing a superficial/external characteristic with some imperceptible/intangible but highly desirable quality. It suggests choosing someone on the basis of what we perceive them to be and not what they actually do or what they actually are. So, the lady who wants a man who is tall, dark and handsome is ultimately disappointed when she realizes that is all he is.

    As far as long term relationships, I'm interested in women who can make me think, make me laugh, make me want to take of my clothes (and hers) and make me breakfast/lunch/dinner without having to order in…having a phat ass and luscious lips rarely indicate a woman can do any of these things…. Getting back to my first point, I used to have a type until I found her and realized I couldn't stand her (which I guess suggests on some level that I didn't really know myself and/or I didn't like myself)

    Having said all that, since I'm not looking for a long term relationship, a big butt, a sweet pair of legs and lips softer than a whisper will turn me into a fool. Every time.

  7. UppityBlackChic says:

    Lookie Me's are a no-no. <—- Ha! DEAD

    For goodness sakes, let the pretty boys go. <—- But Anna, they are soooooo hard to let go. Their swag just consumes me. It's like an aphrodisiac. I just gobble it up 🙁

  8. Anna N. says:

    But they're candy – sweet, colorful, a delight to your eyes and tastebuds…..and likely to cause tooth rot, lol. You can play with them all you want on vacay, but if you want a balanced meal you need to find you some meat and potatoes.

  9. maxfab says:

    Anna you are talking so much sense right now.

  10. maxfab says:

    I agree with you Sam Sharpe. Having a type only just means that we seek out people who possess specific positive attributes without taking into account what negative qualities come along with them.

  11. __melissa says:

    like 6 years ago, my one gf and i would talk about the kind of guys we'd see each other ending up with and she pretty much described the present dead on.

    so, i guess i do have a type. although, i'm not bound to it.
    i've gone out with polar opposites to "my type" but they didn't last long.

  12. UppityBlackChic says:

    I tried the opposite recently. He wasn't the corporate suit wearing type, but has a good job. He wasn't into dressing like Dr. Jay is….mofo wore an Enyce collar shirt to the restaurant on our date O_o and wears Akademiks t-shirts even bigger O_O. He wasn't into current affairs/world politics and likes BET/VH1 shows. He is not clean cut; meaning he doesn't wear a fade or ceasar…he's locking his hair (which would be fine, but they don't look right on him). And it JUST did not work out! And I tried I really did. He's a nice guy, but my polar opposite.

  13. maxfab says:

    Last year I tried dating a man who was completely, totally, unequivocally not my type. It started out really well and I thought I might be on to something…but then he ended up being as big of a jackass as any other man I've been with so now I'm thinking broadening my horizons might be slightly over-rated.

  14. Tunde says:

    personality-wise. all different. completely different. lol

  15. maxfab says:

    Isn't it interesting that having a type is a bad idea but if you have one and you deviate from it it never turns out well?

  16. Anna N. says:

    I think that sometimes we're not straying as far from our type as we think we are. A jerk in a suit and a jerk in a jersey still have something in common…

  17. Shelia G says:

    The key is to know what qualities the other person should have that you can deal with and to not ignore the characteristics of the person you can't deal with.

  18. maxfab says:

    This is definitely my downfall. I'll swap a basketball player for a football player and call myself broadening my horizons. Fool!

  19. maxfab says:

    That is true. I know a lot of women who will cling fast to a man because he has 2 or 3 qualities on her must-have list; forgetting that he has like 99 other qualities that drive her crazy.
    And welcome! It's great to see you on here.

  20. Jemsstar says:

    I have a type…sort of, he has to be tall, because I am taller than your average woman. And everytime I have gone for my type, things never seem to be right. The funny thing is none of these men actually look anything alike, I mean, I have dated every hue of brown you can think of and the only thing that is the common denomenator is that they are tall. LOL!

    My current boo is slightly shorter than I and this is probably the best relationship I have ever been in. Go Figure. But the messed up thing is, when I'm walking down the street, and I see a tall, slim brother with a nice smile, I always think to myself,, hmmm yeah that's my type, but I'm not leaving my boo.

    btw, no disrespect to the Leo women, but I don't think Leo men are good matches for anyone! LOL!

  21. CHeeKZ Money says:

    I have a type that I find most visually appealing. Short. Cute young face. thick with backyard for days. Small waist.

    But that is just what draws my attention the most. Personality is the be-all-end-all.
    So many girl who I thought was wack or average, than I have a conversation with and I could spend forever listening to their smart thoughts. Its soo much more fun eff a smart girl getting wrapped up into how to unlock her body that her mind guards to closely.

    I hate types.. mostly b/c no one has a wordly atheist haitian as a type. Therefore I am forced to be every women's exception making it more difficult for me to get @$$

  22. maxfab says:

    I was with you on the tall too. I was all about them and then I "took a chance" on a regular-sized dude and realized that relationships with tall men are inherently flawed (but that's another post for another day). Now I'm all about my height or just a bit above. I'd actually like to try a dude who was a bit shorter than I but they don't seem to like me.

    Leo men are toooooo much work!

  23. maxfab says:

    Wow CHeeKZ. Isn't it sad to know that I am soooo not your type?

    Good thing we are soulmates in the personality department 😉

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