When you are a woman who refuses to ask a man out like me, you will inevitably spend a lot of time wondering why the object of your desire hasn’t made a move yet. And if you are like most women, you and your girlfriends will spend even more time coming up with explanations as [...]
When you are a woman who refuses to ask a man out like me, you will inevitably spend a lot of time wondering why the object of your desire hasn’t made a move yet. And if you are like most women, you and your girlfriends will spend even more time coming up with explanations as to why he’s not asking you out. Beside the obvious, that is.
The explanations women will come up with run the gamut from he’s intimidated (but SBM already dispelled that myth) to he’s dense to my personal favourite: he’s shy. At which point I call bullshit.
Yup. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a shy man. Call me what you will, but I just don’t buy it. Why? Read on.
According to dictionary.com, shy is defined like this:
Shy, bashful, diffident: imply a manner that shows discomfort or lack of confidence in association with others. Shy implies a constitutional shrinking from contact or close association with others, together with a wish to escape notice: shy and retiring. Bashful suggests timidity about meeting others, and trepidation and awkward behavior when brought into prominence or notice.
A man, shy? Please!
Now I know your little fingers are all in a frenzy getting ready to type your comments. In them, you will tell me that you can give me countless examples of men that you know personally who are really shy. And do you know what I will tell you? Here’s what I will tell you:
Think of every man you consider shy. Picture him asking a woman out on a date. Oh your sympathetic little woman-heart bleeds for him doesn’t it? It’s charming. Now picture that same man in a job interview, on the basketball court, asking his boss for a raise, at the strip club, hanging with his friends, at his company’s holiday party, asking a sales associate for help in a department store. Is he still sniveling? Are his hands still shaking? No? Then he’s not shy – he’s just lazy.
See here’s the thing about shyness. If you read the definition closely, you’ll notice that it’s not situational in nature; shy is shy. A man who is “shy” when he has to ask a woman out but is not shy when he has to talk to his boss is not shy. He’s just unmotivated. Unlike women, whose shyness tends to be universal – if they’re shy with men they’re also shy with co-workers, friends, store staff, and prospective employers – men’s shyness tends to be situational. As in, a man is only shy when faced with a woman that he just doesn’t want badly enough. Because if he did, he would access his stones and use them as fuel to get off his ass and make a move.
Shy my ass I say.
Come on – tell me I’m wrong.
Related Posts
6 Comments
Trackbacks and Pingbacks
Tags
#30for30
any 10 on tuesday
ask max
breakups
cheating
commandments
dating
disappearing men
fitness
friends
i wish someone would
ladylike chronicles
life
love
max in real life
maxlogic
men
moi
nasty friday
other people's logic
psa's
random
relationships
sex
sexy
singledom
spectacular asshole
stories
the insurgents
throwback tuedays
women
Popular Posts
- Make Your Hand Job Great
- The After-Sex Phone Call
- Deep Throat 101
- Mastering Missionary
- So You Wanna Be a Freak
Skye Blue, here and of course I strongly disagree with you (surprise!).
Anyway, I'm going to use myself as an example. As you pointed out in our last comment battle I am a big mouthed girl like you. I am also über friendly. I talk to anyone, form instant 'friendships' with waitresses (which you've witnessed), cashiers and virtually anyone I run into. And if I don't business with a guy, I can flirt like a fiend. Male or female and need a wing girl? Then I'm your woman. I can work a room and get you the contact info for anyone you want (you've witnessed that you). So no one would define me as shy – ever.
That said, when I finally got the balls to tell the man I'm currently dating that I was crushin' on him – and it took a whole year from me to get the nerve to do it – I was a complete basket case. Shaking, nervous and trippin' over my words. I nearly fainted as I waited for his response. My friend who was waiting on the sidelines and watching said she'd never seen me look so scared. Basically, this outgoing, talkative and brazen woman caught a serious case of 'situational shyness'.
If that can happen to me Skye "Super Bad and Bold" Blue, it can happen to anyone.
i get what you're trying to get at. women say a lot of weirdo things to make themselves feel better about being rejected. if a guy never comes through, then he's not shy…he's just not that into you. but to say a guy can't be shy or that shy = unmotivated or lazy is unfair and way too generalizing.
shyness IS situational. i don't know who told you it isn't. and i don't know who told you that being shy is only a girl thing. by your definition, being shy is lacking confidence or discomfort in association with others. have you not met that guy that stuttered or shuffled awkwardly or rambled on when talking to you? is that not shyness, by definition alone? that's not lazy.
there are some really confident ppl in this world that can go for what they want and not be phased by rejection. they just brush it off and go about their business. but for the rest of us, we have to build up confidence when it pertains to facing something that's important to us, especially if the fear of rejection or losing said thing is a possibility.
Ah ladies what can I tell you? I'm full of shit today and I know it.
It's a theory I was testing out. I'm not that attached to it.
here's where i disagree with you. i do believe that shyness can be situational. yes i get nervous around a woman that i like. do i get nervous on a basketball court? no. why? because at the end of the day that's just a game. as far as a woman that i'm really into? you can say that's a game but that could be my future wife. i think that that's something worth being nervous over.
Okay fair enough. But here's a question – would you let your nervousness stop you from getting with a woman you really like?
it has before.