When you are a woman who refuses to ask a man out like me, you will inevitably spend a lot of time wondering why the object of your desire hasn’t made a move yet. And if you are like most women, you and your girlfriends will spend even more time coming up with explanations as [...]
When you are a woman who refuses to ask a man out like me
, you will inevitably spend a lot of time wondering why the object of your desire hasn’t made a move yet. And if you are like most women, you and your girlfriends will spend even more time coming up with explanations as to why he’s not asking you out. Beside the obvious
, that is.
The explanations women will come up with run the gamut from he’s intimidated (but SBM already dispelled that myth
) to he’s dense to my personal favourite: he’s shy. At which point I call bullshit.
Yup. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a shy man. Call me what you will, but I just don’t buy it. Why? Read on.
According to dictionary.com, shy is defined like this:
Shy, bashful, diffident: imply a manner that shows discomfort or lack of confidence in association with others. Shy implies a constitutional shrinking from contact or close association with others, together with a wish to escape notice: shy and retiring. Bashful suggests timidity about meeting others, and trepidation and awkward behavior when brought into prominence or notice.
A man, shy? Please!
Now I know your little fingers are all in a frenzy getting ready to type your comments. In them, you will tell me that you can give me countless examples of men that you know personally who are really shy. And do you know what I will tell you? Here’s what I will tell you:
Think of every man you consider shy. Picture him asking a woman out on a date. Oh your sympathetic little woman-heart bleeds for him doesn’t it? It’s charming. Now picture that same man in a job interview, on the basketball court, asking his boss for a raise, at the strip club, hanging with his friends, at his company’s holiday party, asking a sales associate for help in a department store. Is he still sniveling? Are his hands still shaking? No? Then he’s not shy – he’s just lazy.
See here’s the thing about shyness. If you read the definition closely, you’ll notice that it’s not situational in nature; shy is shy. A man who is “shy” when he has to ask a woman out but is not shy when he has to talk to his boss is not shy. He’s just unmotivated. Unlike women, whose shyness tends to be universal – if they’re shy with men they’re also shy with co-workers, friends, store staff, and prospective employers – men’s shyness tends to be situational. As in, a man is only shy when faced with a woman that he just doesn’t want badly enough. Because if he did, he would access his stones and use them as fuel to get off his ass and make a move.
Shy my ass I say.
Come on – tell me I’m wrong.