As a woman who is blessed with many male friends, I hear a lot of stories about sex. First-time sex in particular. And lately I’ve noticed an alarming trend among these stories. Far too many of them end with “and then she started crying”. Yep. They start crying. It seems women all over the world [...]
As a woman who is blessed with many male friends, I hear a lot of stories about sex. First-time sex in particular. And lately I’ve noticed an alarming trend among these stories. Far too many of them end with “and then she started crying”. Yep. They start crying. It seems women all over the world city are meeting men in clubs, at brunch, online, going home and f*cking them, and then crying talking about they’ve never done this before and they’re not that kind of girl.
Oh ladies – I have such a bone to pick with you. You cannot do this. You simply cannot. First of all, there is only one reason to cry during sex. That is when the shit is so good that you just spontaneously burst into tears (Sidebar: has this ever happened to you? It’s amazing). That’s the only reason it’s ever okay to cry during sex. Period.
Second, if you’re going to start crying during sex because you’re so consumed with worry that the man won’t respect you afterward, at least have the decency to make up a lie when he asks you why you’re crying. If you’re scrambling for a good line, try “the shit was so good I just spontaneously burst into tears”. Men love that.
Third, if you meet a man and go home with him that same night and f*ck him, you are that kind of girl. There’s no equivocation about that. You need to accept it and own it. And you know what? There are worst kinds of girls to be.
Now if you’re one of these idiots girls who does this, you’re probably wondering why it’s such a big deal. Well, beside the fact that it’s really (really) pathetic, let me tell you something – dumb asses like you make life more difficult for normal women. Because of girls like you who can’t handle casual sex, men who just want to bone find it necessary to lie about it. Because they’re afraid we’re gonna do exactly what you did – act stupid. So please, as a gesture of goodwill toward your fellow women, effing stop it.
This is the part of the post where I ask you if you have any experience with the topic but honestly ladies, if you’ve ever cried after sex because you feared that the man wouldn’t respect you, I want you to get off my site don’t want to hear about it. Actually same goes for any man reading who has done this. But if anyone out there has a compelling reason why this might be okay, I’d love to hear it.
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I cried once. It was because the intimacy was so wonderful, so tender, so touching. I finally understood what it meant to "make love". I had never felt that close to anyone. It was as if our souls had connected through the haze of our love……
….I'm joking of course. Crying? During sex? I can't even imagine it. Not happening.
Oh man I believed you for a minute and I was SO disappointed.
If girl starts crying does that mean I have to stop? LMAO! Of course not, tell me after I'm done.
You should do a post " When not to laugh during Sex"
LMAO I should…because sometimes laughing during sex is fun, but sometimes it's really bad.
The only time its okay for a man to cry during sex is if the guy gets hurt during sex. Maybe during oral sex, the girl bites down too hard or pulls too hard on the guys sack, causing testicular torsion.
LOL I hadn't considered that but yes that would be a good reason for a man to cry. Or for a woman to get a beat down.
just kidding!
what if he smacks your ass too hard? lol…just kidding.
that's all i have to say. you said it all. no crying! who does that!??!?
"Actually same goes for any man reading who has done this"
wait, guys cry during sex?
if a woman cried during or after sex i would be so weirded out.
I so sincerely hope that men do not cry during sex. That is soooo not okay.
My position was and always will be that if anyone – of either gender – cries during sex, they deserve a throatpunch.
throatpunch though? lol if they were crying before that they'll really be crying after. lol
iT YOUR d!CK BENDS THE WRONG WAY DURING CHEX. that hurts.
You know.. you pull to far out, than she pushes back in but misses. OOWWWW!
Your reason for hating these women should be posted in every female bathroom across america nxt to the tampoon machine. Every girl always says "if you just want to sting you should have just said so. Be honest." WHY?! Honesty does not get you any.. I have to lie to avoid this crap.
Happened three times. Twice during V-card removal (which happens all the time, girls put such an emphasis on V-cards. I bet even Max cried). And the other time was this girl who wanted to mess around but didn't want to give it up that quick and told me so before we got into the bed. But than I started and she only stoped me to put on a helmet. Than five strokes in she started crying. Its ok, b/c eight strokes in I was done.
CHeeKZ I will have you know that I did not cry when my v-card was removed.
It's actually quite a story – it involves a van and a rapper. One day I'll share.
I agree wholeheartedly with this post and I love your blog in general!
LOL thanks Andrea!
And congrats on breaking your comment cherry
Ha ha! Thanks!