Crash the Car

The ever-talented Dr.Jay returns with his take on yesterday’s post. I thought my idea was good but his is sheer evil genius. After you read this, check him out over at your favourite blogger’s favourite blog.


Have you ever been on a different page than someone else? However, you were afraid of how they would react if you told them the reality of the situation? Today’s session is about crashing the car. I had a friend who was telling me about a situation she was going through with a male friend who may be thinking the relationship is more than friends, but she was afraid for her safety if she didn’t just go along with what he was thinking and manage her own actions. I told her, “Sometimes you have to get in their lane and then crash the car.”


Here’s what I’m talking about:


Sometimes men and women meet and the guy is thinking in his head that he would like to sleep with or date the lady. In her mind, she is like I just want to be friends. As most men typically will say, he agrees and says yes, let’s just be friends. He says this, but his opinion will never change, EVER. Final Answer.


As friends they hang out a few times and they start to hang out regularly. But in her mind, he’s just a friend. At some point she wants to do something else other than hang with the guy and it upsets the guy because in his mind, he’s trying to talk to this girl and she’s not being responsive. He may react, snap back at her, send a dry or angry text message, etc. She’s wondering why he’s doing this and thinks that maybe he’s just a little sensitive. Going forward and after several conversations or email exchanges about the nature of the relationship and that she is not interested in any type of relationship outside of friendship, he still insists that it’s cool that they remain friends. BUT IN HIS MIND, he’s thinking that this is merely a setback and proceeds as planned. Some guys will even go as far as to start to act out because in their mind, arguments are a sign of a good/healthy relationship. Be careful to check your Terrorist Alert Advisory Level.


So what do you do? How do you get this guy to lay off without causing him to do something crazy that may involve him harming himself or you? You have to get in his lane. So slide into his lane of “talking”. Get him to think that you are being responsive to his advances. And then you CRASH THE CAR. Find a way for him to find out that you are talking to someone else, or that you are a horrible person to be in a romantic situation with.


Here are some ways you can do that:


1. Send him a text in the morning, after not seeing him the previous night saying, “Had a great time, we should get up again soon.” When he receives it he’ll think that you’re talking to someone else and get upset and be done with you. Although you totally fabricated this situation. (I am guilty of pulling this text trick. It works like a charm).


2. After some time, ask him if he would have a problem if you were talking to other guys while talking to him. Because men are territorial, he’ll say no he has no problem, but now that he knows that it will begin to bother him and he’ll begin to waver.


3. Just be a horrible person to be talking to. Turn off your phone at night. Disappear for hours. Change/cancel plans. I mean flat out just frustrate this guy once you are “talking”. He’ll see a big difference between when you were just friends and now that you’re talking and fade to black.


In Dr. J’s opinion, there’s nothing wrong with a little Phantom of the Opera.


So what do you guys think? Will Dr. Jay’s method work to get rid of the dude who can’t take a hint? The next time I have a pest I’m giving it a try.

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

Comments 3

  1. Stank-0 says:

    Too much effort. Make it abundantly clear ie "I'm not interested in you and will NEVER be interested in you. You will merely be my friend."

  2. @__melissa says:

    i agree. too much effort and too game-y.

    what's with just being straight forward and to the point. "listen, i don't like you like that, but i'm willing to be friends. but if you can't handle that, then we can't even be friends." say it and mean it.

    and why even continue "talking" to him if you don't want to "talk" to him? i think anyone who goes through the trouble of all this actually likes the attention and is kinda mean.

  3. maxfab says:

    I don't know ladies. I've had the experience of losing a guy friend whose company I really enjoyed because I let him know that I wasn't interested in him like that. Sometimes you have to deliver rejection in a way that makes it seem like it's his idea so you can keep him in your life.

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