I'm of the opinion that sex is like hockey - better with a little violence. Trouble is, a single woman who avoids attachments usually doesn't take time having those 'getting to know you' conversations with her conquests where she can drop subtle hints that she likes it a little rough. Instead she has to rely upon a man's intuition to kick in and let him know that certain acts would be welcomed. We all know where that gets you right? Men - while superior human beings in many ways - are usually not so great at the whole intuition thing. So the girl who likes it a little rowdy probably has to sift through a whole lotta gentle fuckers (pun intended) before she finds her holy grail - the man who knows exactly what liberties it's okay to take.
And what liberties are those? I hear you asking. Well of course it’s different for every woman. But for the men out there who are itching to try out a move on a new beat but aren’t sure how it will go down, I’m going to give you some rough guidelines of how much is too much.
1. Spanking
I don’t know many women who don’t deserve a good spanking, and I know even fewer who don’t enjoy it when it comes during sex. If you have some aggression that you want to let out, this is a good place to start because you can ease into it and it’s safe to try it out the first time you slam.
Liberty rating: 1/5
2. Hair Pulling and General Manhandling
Manhandling is one of those things that bring out the throwback in most women. It’s not that they don’t like it so much as they think they shouldn’t. Especially the whole holding on to her head while she’s giving you head thing. Waist up she’s offended, waist down is a different story. So you probably don’t want to open with that. Start with pinning her arms down, proceed to hair pulling, and if she hasn’t kicked you in the seeds, it’s probably safe to proceed to the head-holding.
Liberty rating: 2/5 – 3/5
3. Hot Talks
I’m not talking about “Oh Baby you feel so good I can’t wait to be inside you”. I’m talking more along the lines of “Take this d*ck you f*cking bitch”. Break out your potty mouth too soon and you’re likely to end the night with blue balls. The only advice I can give you is to pay attention to the way she speaks outside of the bedroom – there are usually clues to how dirty the talks can get in the bed.
Liberty rating: 3/5
4. Choking
The thing about choking is that a lot of women won’t admit they like it. And even more women don’t know they like it. But the women who don’t like it really don’t like it. So I don’t recommend you trying this out the first time. If the urge to throttle is getting a rise out of you, you could try easing into it and see how she reacts, but I take no responsibility if she freaks the f*ck out.
Liberty rating: 4/5
5. Face-Slapping
This is an advanced move that only a true pig pimp would attempt with a woman he doesn’t know well. But more women are into it than you might think. Tread very, very lightly here. That’s all I can say.
Liberty rating: 5/5
6. Donkey Punching
This is not a liberty you should be taking. I’m not saying there aren’t girls out there who enjoy it, but I urge you to have the conversation beforehand. Things are gonna get really ugly if you try this on the wrong girl.
Liberty rating: 8/5
As usual, I’m putting it to you dear readers – what do you think? Ladies I know you like to play shy so make use of the anonymous commenting feature to tell me what you think. Men – how do you introduce these little acts of violence in the bedroom?
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[...] 2. Donkey Punches and Other Liberties [...]
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[...] you guys know I’m a big fan of the um, less gentle sex acts. But like I already told you, there’s a time and a place for this shit. When a girl is into this stuff, it’s hot. [...]
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[...] If you’ve never grasped, pulled, or scratched your woman you are failing at life. We want to be manhandled in the bedroom - it’s evidence of your overwhelming passion for us. So bite, clutch, spank, drag. Whatever. Just no donkey punches. [...]
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I never thought of this but it is so true! Great post.
"I'm of the opinion that sex is like hockey – better with a little violence."
That line alone let me know I was in for some good times. As usual Max, I dig your lists and dig the way your mind works…Had to buss another laugh for this one:
"Oh Baby you feel so good I can't wait to be inside you". …
I know ever dude has dropped that one at some time, it's like standard operating procedure.
And since we're on the topic, I once had a chick ASK me to choke her….hottest thing ever……
Thank you Beanpie. Glad I didn't make you angry for a change.
I once asked a dude to choke me and he freaked the f*ck out. So I'm back on relying on men's mind-reading powers.
I'm sure you can imagine how that's working out.
Hey, I love to administer a good choke
and that mind reading thing is OVER RATED
tell me what you like/love dammit
and we might BOTH enjoy it more
In defense of the dude that freaked the f*ck out, when said girl propositioned me in the middle of the action, I had to ask her a few times if she was sure. I mean it's not an everyday request. (It probably helped that me and this particular girl had wonderful sexual chemistry)…But once I knew she was all about it…it was on like donkey kong (yes, I used that phrase)….
You might wanna go back to just asking for it, you'll eventually find one who's down.
I suspect your gonna be mad about this one but fcuk-it.
This is one of those topics that that really sets me off. I’ve probably had more than my fair share of punky over the years, rightly or wrongly. If I took some of yours it’s your own fault pay attention! I am though, sick and tired of females that lie there seemingly disinterested in what’s taking place and expect me to read their fcuking minds. If you are willing to take off your clothes and insert my dick into your mouth and any other orifices it can be squeezed into then it would serve you well to take an active role.
There is nothing I HATE more than a chick that lies there hoping I’ll hit all the right switches like women keep them in the same place or they even produce the same result. All I’m saying is time would be better spent if you provided a little direction or even insight as to your wiring or what your preferences are. If you prefer to be on top then say so or do so cause I prefer the top too and if your waiting for me to read your mind I sooner cum, role over, go to sleep and move on to the next one. You can complain to your girls about my failings. They call it being intimate for a reason and if you’re too shy to step up to the mic, keep your clothes on, and stay on the sidelines where its safe. This game is for grown-ups.
Wowzers WWD.
I'm not mad, but might I suggest a small shot of perspective? It's just a blog, not true confessions.
I know you like to use the comment platform as your own personal blog but this post is really not about relying on a man's intuition. So while I'm not saying you're wrong, can we at least try to stay on topic just a little bit?
WWD you obviously did not fully comprehend max's blog (and i must state this again MAX"S BLOG). I suggest you start your own blog (it's really quite easy to do…just as easy as commenting daily on MAX"S BLOG). Then you can wax poetic about all the crap you lay on MAX"S BLOG
My current boyfriend is quite a bit rougher in bed than past lovers…I've always liked it rough and have been hesitant in the past to ask my bedmate to bring it on harder, for fear of freaking them out. Sex with my current BF has definitely pushed many of my boundaries, not in a bad way at all — communication has always been open regarding what's ok and what's too much and what hurt a little bit more than I wanted it to. I have, however, been curious about face-slapping and choking….I definitely like the choking, within reason, but I'm still on the fence about the face-slapping bit. HE definitely gets off on it but I guess I don't entirely get it. I find it takes me out of the act instead of getting me more into it…the way that choking/hair-pulling/spanking/being thrown around roughly in general riles me up. It could also be that he is a much larger person than I and tends to be like a puppy who doesn't actually quite realize how big and strong he is when he gets excited. Anyway, enough rambling…thanks for this post. Not many go out there and talk about HOW rough they really like it and as open as I am about sex, I've never really discussed this with my girl friends. I agree though that face-slapping the first time with someone is definitely pushing it. If my boyfriend slapped my face the first time we got down, its very very very likely there wouldn't have been a next time.
For your sake, I hope you stay with this dude forever. Because in my experience once you've been exposed to a little um, edge in the bedroom, you miss it big time when the next dude's not bringing it.
After a convo with a few women, I was surprised at how many women liked to end up with a few bruises after sex. I'm all for it. There are a few things I just feel uncomfortable doing, but for the most part I'm down.
I agree with you though, you have to tread lightly. One woman's "rough" is another woman's "assault charge". And we all know where, "But, she asked for it…" will get you.
I love this one!
Great writing & great blog entry!
You ALWAYS write the best s***.
I wish more women in this world thought like you.
You're the best MAXFAB!!!!
spanking = good. i think it's that disciplinary/dominant-submissive aspect and i'm all for that.
face slapping/punching seems mean spirited and disrespectful. not down for that, but who knows…if the right guy approached it in the right way, i could be.
i have no rationale for why i like the choking thing tho.
however, i would be freaked out if someone did any of these to me during the first time. unless it was previously discussed. the last first date i went on, the dude got straight to the point and laid out what he liked, didn't like, expected, was looking for right there on the table. i was a bit taken aback at first, but it ultimately ended up being a good thing.
Umm ok, since sharing is caring, can someone share with me what the heck a donkey punch is?!?!? LOL! I haven't tried the choking, but I am curious about it, but face slapping is a no no. I'm sure that no matter where I am in the act, if I get slapped in the face, one, that its going to totally take me out of the mood, and two I'm slapping you back!! LOL! Good post Max
P.S. WWD, you be going INNN!! LOL!!
I think face slapping/donkey punching are the exclusive realm of men who hate women.
That being said, in the category of "over-sharing" I will say that a dude once slapped me in the face during sex and…let's just say I wasn't mad about it.
Donkey punch: "Donkey punching involves the male punching the sexual partner in the back of the head during anal or vaginal sex prior to orgasm, to provoke a shock causing the vaginal or anal muscles to contract around the male's penis."
p.s. Don't encourage WWD. He's rowdy enough as is!
Oh and the only rationale you need for why you like choking is that it's effing hot!
GTFOH!!! Yoooo, if someone does that to me, it's on…LIKE DONKEY KONG!!! LOL!!!
Yup. EFFING WRONG!
I can't believe you and Sam Sharpe both used the expression "it's on like donkey kong".
I've never been much for asking for things or having these "what do you like"-type conversations. I get that my rough stuff to vanilla sex ratio would increase if I did, but I like the mystery…I like to see who a man really is in bed and I like to see how he reveals himself as things progress. Some dudes start out tame but as they get comfortable their true colours come out with no prompting from me.
Soorrrry! …doesn't play well with other kids, sadly thats a reoccurring theme with me. I'll go sit in the corner for a bit and return more contrite and concise.
One of the best post you ever did Max. Great Great Stuff. I did get a little stiff while reading this a couple of times.
I will say that I completely agree with WWD. You have to say what you like…. there is fun in self discovery. Lets be honest, these hoes aren't even sure what they like. So most of the time we are finding out together. Communication usually comes into play when a need help finding the speed of strength to use.
1. Spanking: Loved by 60-75% of all women. Seems like the ones are are more into the sensualitly don't like the smack. Never start off strong.. just ask them if they like that.
2. Hair Pulling and General Manhandling: 75-80 loved by woman. The only ladies who don't like hair pulling are protective over their weaves or new doo. Makes for good angles and any willing girl doesn't mind being held down… I said WILLING Kobe Bryant.
3. Hot Talks: Taste your juice off my piece. Yeah, let me see that pretty face suck on this hard nasty… I'm sorry. Forgot where I was.
4. Choking: "I thought about how rich i am and said No sir". Seriously, alot of women love the high from the lack of oxygen. Ever bust a nut a feel light headed.
5. Face-Slapping: Only with my C0C^.
6. Donkey Punching: Just Dumb
I'm shock there isn't one for Sea Man Shooters and their location. Major issue