Happy Effing Valentine’s Day


I’m happily single. I love being single and I really, really believe that I’m wired to be single. And while I may joke around every now and then that I should have gotten married so that there would be someone around here to take out the garbage and plunge the toilet, I cannot remember a time in my adult life when I’ve said “I wish I had a boyfriend”. Because I don’t.

Although some people probably look forward to February effing 14th, I would imagine that the day causes more misery than elation for most. Single people are miserable, coupled women gnash their teeth waiting to see if their men will step up to the plate, and coupled men are resentful and grudging that they are arbitrarily required to produce evidence of their love. And on All-Star Weekend, no less.  So I should be glad to be removed from the equation, right?

Until I was 33, I had never celebrated Valentine’s Day with someone special.  The men I’ve been involved with were not really into it and far be it from me to force them into doing something they don’t want to do. So until last year, I really had no idea what a good Valentine’s Day experience was. But last year I had a great one. I’m not going to get into detail, but it was nice. And notwithstanding the fact that it ultimately proved to be a farce, the experience gave me a frame of reference that is at least in part to blame for my ever-so-slightly wistful feelings this time around.  Now that I know what I’m missing, I’m kinda peeved about it.

Which brings me to reason #2: the lack of options. Being truly single (as in not dating) on Valentine’s Day is basically like knowing there’s a big ole party going on that you are not invited to. But you hear about it, you see the invites, you watch other people prepare for it, and even though you don’t know what’s going to happen there, you just know you’re missing out.

See the absolute best thing about being single is options. You have 100% autonomy over your life and you can do what the eff you like with it. The world is your oyster when you’re single and it’s great. But when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you’re disqualified if you don’t have a partner to celebrate it with and that’s no fun. Unless of course you’re one of those women that lies to herself has “Anti-Valentine’s Day” parties with her girlfriends. I was never really a fan of that; to me there is nothing sadder in life than a bunch of single women getting together on Valentine’s Day pretending they’d rather be out with their girls than hugged up somewhere with a man. I call bullshit on that, but I’m sure my single ladies will disagree.

So tell me fellow Singletons – how do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Just another bullshit commercialized holiday, or does it make you want to stab yourself in the eye?

bag lady. digital nerd. beauty junkie. shoe whore. i'm a sucker for big words and box-fresh kicks. know a little bit about a lot of things and have something to say about everything.

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