like most people, i watched the chris brown interview on larry king live last night. i lifted my lifelong ban on cnn to watch it because i was curious to hear what he had to say, but i ended up paying almost as much attention to the blog comments running across the bottom of the screen as i did to the interview.
the biggest thing that struck me about the interview was how presumptuous and judgmental people are. this isn't news to me, but still it never ceases to amaze me, because those are two things that i try really hard not to be.
my impression of chris brown during the interview was of someone who was sorry, who wanted to say things, but who was being pulled in many directions and was painfully aware of how much he was being judged for every word that came out of his mouth. and because i'm a big softie, i felt sorry for him. and i feel sorry for rihanna too. because i can't imagine what it would be like to have the worst thing you've ever done - or the worst thing that's ever happened to you - be served up to millions of people with their morning coffee.
people are so quick to sit on their asses and pass judgment on chris brown for what he did, while forgetting what to me is the most fundamental fact: you don't know what really happened. what you know is what you've been told by the media. and the media spins things. so perhaps you should take a moment to consider that there is more to the story than the 'in touch magazine' you skimmed while standing in line in the grocery store.
the other thing i want to say to these people is: if you did what he did, would you go out in public and talk about it? would you submit yourself to public scrutiny, knowing what people would be saying about you? i wouldn't. so i listen, shrug my shoulders and keep it moving with my own, real life. because ultimately i don't know chris brown and rihanna and what went on between them is not my business. that's the thing that irritates me about this celebrity-gossip-obsessed culture. we are fed so much bullshit information about celebrities that we think we know them, and become way too invested in what goes on in their lives when really it has nothing to do with us. the public persona of a celebrity is not any more real than a character on a sitcom. what you are fed by the media is not necessarily representative of who that person really is. am i the only one who thinks that?
now i have to say that i'm not at all condoning what chris brown has evidently done. not at all. i have had enough experience with domestic violence not to ever do that. but i will say that one incident doesn't make a life. or a relationship. i've known - and loved - men who beat their wives regularly for 20+ years; but i've also known - and loved - men who hit their wives one time and 20+ years later have never done it again. so the people who say things like 'once a batterer, always a batterer' make no sense to me. i just don't think life is black and white like that.
you know what i think? i think that if rihanna and chris brown weren't famous - and were allowed to see and speak to each other - they would still be together. that's just the vibe i get. and i think that the only reason they're not is because of what people would think about them if they were and how that would affect their careers. and that to me is the saddest thing of all.
