my twitterbuddy darling nicky asked this question in her ladies quiz a couple of weeks ago:

this was a no-brainer for me (if you've been paying attention, you should know the answer) but it did get my wheels turning...which led me to the notion of 'the one that got away'. not in the traditional sense of the person that you met, fell for, and planned to have a future with until some bullshit went down for whatever reason you didn't end up together. no, today i'm thinking of the one that got away 2.0 - aka the man that got the better of me.

let me just stop to fill you in on a fundamental fact of my life - i am slick. i am sooooo slick. i actually scare myself sometimes when i think about what an effing evil genius i am. when i turn my evil powers on, i have an uncanny ability to bend people to my will while they're walking around believing that what they do is their own idea. this is a great skill to have, but it does mean that i can get bored really quickly if i can work a man too easily. which i almost always can.

back to the one that got away. i was on one of my marathon walks with my girl melissa the other day talking about a pebble i recently dropped (that's code for a crush i gave up on). this dude was the best thing i've come across in a while, smart and literate, masculine and well-dressed, funny and charming. and he had the nerve to be dark-skinned on top of everything else, the bastard. but after over a year of subtly (and not-so-subtly) sweating his ass, i had to let the crush go because it just wasn't fun anymore. or at least, that's what i thought the reason was; until melissa pissed on my parade englightened me by pointing out that this dude had out-played me.

i felt like marcus graham in boomerang when jacqueline tells him he's getting too caught up. just - destroyed. how can anyone beat me?

but looking back over the last year or so, i realized that there has never been a single moment in which i had the upper hand over this dude. no matter what slick move i made, he anticipated and countered it with a level of slickness i can't even comprehend. his game was so good that i didn't even know he was playing - and please believe me i'm a veteran (hi steve!) game-spotter.

now the old stupid max would be so turned on by the realization of how slick this dude really is that she would immediately resurrect her crush. max 2.0 knows the definition of insanity and is not gonna waste any more of her time. so i'll remain over my crush but this man will always hold a piece of my heart as the first - and hopefully only - man ever to out-slick me.