honesty is the best policy
'honesty is the best policy' is one of those things that people say to make themselves feel good, but in reality it's just a license for rude behaviour. yes, i do believe that life would go a lot more smoothly if people just told the truth to and about themselves, but there are some times in life that it's just not necessary to be honest.
such as? let’s consider an example:
once i went to a raptors game with my guy at the time. we’re both die-hard fans, but he loves them just a tiny bit more than i do, so when he said he was hungry, i volunteered to go down to subway to get him something to eat. not being a consumer of subs myself, i was a little confused as to what toppings to put on so i guessed at it and brought it back up to him. he opened up the sub and started foaming at the mouth because i – gasp! – put hot peppers on my sub. ‘why would you put hot peppers on it? who eats hot peppers on a chicken sub?!?’
admittedly that was an asshole move, regardless, but he was just being honest. and i did learn from then on that dude no likey hot peppers. but was it necessary to be honest in that situation? i think not. 9 times out of 10, showing appreciation trumps honesty.
still not convinced? how about another example:
my fellow fans of ‘the game’ will remember the period of time in which jason and kelly were going to marriage counseling. kelly and jason both confessed that they married for the wrong reasons (kelly – his money/jason – the tax write-off). they did come to truly love one another later but those confessions were so hurtful and damaging that their marriage never recovered.
once again, they were just being honest. but was that the right move?
i’m getting the feeling you’re still not on board with my logic, but trust me when i tell you that i’m not the only one who thinks honesty is over-rated in relationships. mademan.com gives men a list of things to never, ever say to your girl. even if they’re true. read the list and then come back and tell me that he’s wrong.
there is no greater time to question the validity of honest than when we’re talking about cheating. anyone who has ever cheated knows that the guilt you carry is a motherfucker. sometimes you feel like you’re going to explode if you don’t say something. so in the spirit of ‘just being honest’, most people confess sooner or later. then their partner is devastated, they’re in the doghouse, trust is destroyed, and most times the relationship is damaged forever.(sidebar: we’re not talking about ‘stupid cheating’ here where you have to confess before someone else exposes you. we’re talking about smart cheating where your partner will never, ever find out. if you don’t now the difference between stupid and smart cheating, let me know and i’ll school you later.) if you slip up and cheat in a moment of weakness and you want to stay with your partner, isn’t it better to just keep your mouth shut and regard the weight of the guilt as your punishment? how is honesty the best policy in this situation?
i don’t know. maybe it’s because i’m a pathological liar wired differently than most people but i think honesty is way over-rated. what do you guys think? drop me a dishonest comment and let me know.