a wise man once said
They say you can’t turn a bad girl good
But once a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever..
Consider this scenario:
A good girl grows up. She dates, she has relationships. She may have one or two one-night-stands here and there but for the most part she keeps sex confined to the realm of exclusive relationships. Then she gets her heart broken. She dusts herself off and tries again, only to get it broken again. And again. At which point she decides, no more relationships because he can’t take the risk of getting her feelings hurt anymore. After a while, though, she begins to miss sex. But she still doesn’t want to put her feelings out there. So she decides that she’s just gonna have some fun, no strings, no attachments, no breakups.
She has now entered the realm of the bad girl.
Women’s lib notwithstanding, a woman who routinely has sex without commitment is bad. No reason, no bad experience, no matter her comfort level with her choices, it’s not a good look for a woman to just have random sex. So once a woman decides to head down that path is she lost forever?
Consider the above scenario but add a different ending: She decides to just have some fun, no strings, no attachments, no breakups, but after a year of that she decides that she wants to risk it all again and find true love. So she reverts to her good girl ways; dating, relationships, sex only in an exclusive relationship.
Is she now a good girl who took a vacation to badland? Or is she forever a bad girl?
I think that for most men, Jay-Z’s quote holds true. Once you go bad, you can’t come back. And I think it’s about their egos more than anything else; I don’t know a lot of men who would stand up with pride and say ‘yes my girl has had a lot of bone in her, but she’s all mine now’.
On the other hand though, doesn’t that girl’s experience in badland give her a greater perspective that might help her in her future relationships? I think so, but then again what I think is almost always the opposite of popular opinon.
So what’s a bad girl to do? Move away? Deny her past? Languish forever in badland, her dreams of finding her one true love never to come true? Can a baddie get some love?